For your consideration.

A ‘Party Political Broadcast on behalf of Micheál Martin Quality Used Cars, Bandon Road, Cork

By Morgan C Jones, who writes:

An Ireland For All those thicks and self serving bastards who actually think old Captain McBusCrash would be a good idea ‘for a change’…

Gulp.

Galway City Council has deferred a decision on whether to allocate an additional €2.5 million to the European Capital of Culture project.

City of Kultur, 2020

Welcomes you!
On our brochure’s colour cover,
a sheep with horns on it
stood in the middle of a small road
through the sort of no place –
all rushes and miserable little mountains –
people used to leap
on coffin ships to escape.

And for those with no interest in
locally sourced mutton,
the private sector will provide
ladies from Czech Republic
and sometimes Dubrovnik
who guarantee
happy conclusion
and for a little extra
will visit your vastly
priced Airbnb walk-in closet.

Our programme is loaded
with renowned sculptors,
parade makers, former lead-singers,
and tellers of old jokes
currently going
through their Feargal Sharkey
‘A Good Heart’ phase.

We signal our commitment
to emerging artists.
Our line-up features several
who are Bono in his
embarrassing English accent phase
and grateful to be anywhere
we care to put them.

Among our major sponsors:
no one we know of who made
their early millions from slavery
of the old fashioned sort;
though a few whose ancestors
made their seed capital loading
chattering skeletons aboard
the aforementioned coffin ships.

To those visiting our city
to partake in the coming jamboree
we say: enjoy!
Take up space. And have
what these days pass for
orgasms. Take care
when stepping over
that cardboard box
as there’s probably
someone living in it.

And if you think
you’ve been overcharged
for your cocaine, remember,
you, the consumer, have rights,
if no longer much in the way of
a nose, and can take a case
against your dealer
in the small claims court,
citing European law.

Kevin Higgins

 

Top pic: Galway.ie

Monday: City Council defers decision on €2.5m proposal for Galway 2020

Emergency services found a woman who had given birth at the junction of Linenhall Street and North King Street early on Monday morning

This morning.

Further to reports on Monday of a woman having given birth at the junction of Linenhall Street and North King Street in central Dublin in the early hours of Monday morning…

The Irish Times reports this morning that she remained in the Rotunda Hospital last night:

The woman, who is of no fixed address but is believed to be a Dubliner, went into labour just after 1am around the junction of Linenhall Street and North King Street in what were below-zero temperatures at the time.

She delivered the baby by the roadside in the north inner city as a number of passersby and local people went to her aid on hearing her screams.

After giving birth the woman then walked southwards towards the quays and was eventually found with her baby by the emergency services at the Four Courts on Inns Quay.

…Garda sources described her as having no fixed address, although it remained unclear if she was a rough sleeper.

A number of sources in outreach services said the woman was not known to them and they believed she would be had she been sleeping on the streets.

Meanwhile, yesterday…

The Irish Independent reported:

“Despite report that the woman was homeless, a well-informed source told the Irish Independent that she was not a client of Dublin Region Homeless Executive’s (DRHE) services.”

Woman who gave birth on Dublin street remains in hospital (Conor Lally, The Irish Times)

‘Vulnerable’ woman gives birth on city street on freezing night in the capital (Irish Independent)

Last night.

On Virgin Media One’s The Tonight Show.

Kerry Independent TD Michael Healy-Rae told Dublin Labour TD Joan Burton that it was “very hard” to listen to her before repeatedly calling her “horrible”.

He said “horrible” decisions she made in 2011 and 2012 directly impacted people who are now on reduced pensions.

Ms Burton told Mr Healy-Rae that he was being “horrible”.

Limerick Fianna Fáil TD Willie O’Dea then waded in telling Ms Burton:

“this is a dialogue, not a monologue by you”.

Watch back in full here

Behold: the Bertone Aston Martin Jet2 Shooting Brake – a one-off, commissioned by adventurer and vintage car buff Barry Weir in 2012.

Aston Martin has been producing ultra-low volume shooting brake versions of its cars, including the DB5, DB6 and Vantage since the 1960s. This model was created from a new DB9 delivered to Italy and expertly modified by Bertone, whose designers added a hatchback and a panorama roof seamlessly integrated with the lines of the original car.

Completely unique, the car also comes with the original tooling, allowing the buyer to produce more Jet2 shooting brakes should they wish.

Price on application.

uncrate

The Oscar Mayer marketing vehicle was stopped for reckless driving on a road in Wisconsin, USA

There’s a giant mobile and giant hot dog
Which acts like a boorish road hog
And officers say
That it would not give way
Which is dangerous and left them agog

John Moynes

Pic: Waukesha County Sheriff’s Department