Help David Decide

Dave Simmons caught his girlfriend doing unmentionables with his mate.

He writes:

I have taken back every single item I have paid for in the last 5 years: hair straighteners, clothes, perfumes and her beloved pink Ford KA (above) that I paid £2,800 for a around 2 years ago. Instead of selling her car, I have decided I will leave it to my Facebook friends to decide whether I should give it back to her or drive it to my local scrapyard and film it being destroyed and crushed into a cube with her belongings in it. No doubt her and my great friend have probabably used this car at some point to meet up and be the little cheating rats that they are.

Thanks for reading, now I am going to get drunk.


David Simmons’s Dilemma (Facebook)

Thanks Patsy

77 thoughts on “Help David Decide”

  2. I hope on David’s drinking binge he somehow manages to locate his dignity and testicles.

  3. Ho Ho – Dave matey – Bin it, Sin it, Done it – got the Tee Shirt – Scrap the car with all of her shit in and put it on the internet. Like a boss!

      • I reckon it is true. The car was obviously parked there by a woman. 2 parking spaces! Sheesh!!!

      • I don’t think it’s fake really. You can’t create a Facebook page without a timeline now. Besides, everything on my own page is set to private. Most people who look at my page wouldn’t see who I’m friends with or any photos or anything really.

        • he locked his page down after he got thousands of messages /comments/requests he went to my school they were together since school in kenilworth

  7. I wonder if a search for the “David Simmons Ford” on Google would turn up any connection to a marketing campaign or?

  9. It’s fake.

    But he should crush everything anyway. Including the sex cheaters and the made from sex baby.

  10. “destroyed and crushed into a cube”

    Or just put all her stuff into an old Fiat Cinquecento.

  14. Hard to see if there is a baby seat in the back…doesn’t look like it which would be a bit strange as there is a baby. Reckon it’s got to be a fake.

    • Baby seats are often removable these days. You can carry the child into the house in the seat.

  15. if it’s any consolation to dave it sounds like his mate was only getting BJs off her so it probably is his kid

  18. Fill the under-carriage and engine cavity full of prawns. Trust me, she will not want it after a few days.

  19. suspects of the fake:

    broadsheet
    ford
    advertisers (hidden at this point)
    dave (bored facebooker)

    ????

  21. The only info on his page is that he works for Hovis. That would be a pretty odd viral marketing campaign for sliced pans.

    • How many people said that the “taxi runner” vid was definitely the kid who was mistakenly identified and how many said the video of yer man steal the scooter thing outside Supervalu was fake?

      • I seem to have missed the chance to be wrong about, ‘video of yer man steal the scooter thing outside Supervalu’. Damn.

  24. That’s what you get when you spend your whole time masterbaking and neglecting your woman’s kneads.

  26. Under employment it says he works for Hovis as a ‘Master Baker’……either the best job known to man or this is a fake.

  27. Give the car and all her crap to charity to sell. Whatever they get he will always know that his former beloved and his former pals errant ways have at least cum to some good.

  28. Come on guys and girls, his job description says “Master Baker”. He could be a regular baker that decided to add a little joke to his job title. I have “Creative Designer” under mine, yet I only do typography. Don’t mean I’m fake.

    There is nothing being sold. The story seems legit. He’s just a pissed off dude that didn’t expect people to share his story.

  32. I don’t think he should do anything to the car until he has a dna test. If the child is his..she needs a car to care for HIS baby..if it is NOT his, sell it.

  34. Thought it was fake the moment I saw it:

    1. Claims to have had only 70 friends and makes out he’s a novice with FB. Yet he then seems quite able with postings, settings etc.
    2. No evident history. No other photos on profile.
    3. Claims to be a baker. Without wishing to stereotype, he writes quite articulately. I would guess he works in an office.
    4. No personal genuine friends came forward to comment (people have already said this above).

    Kudos to him though, he’s becoming a national celebrity!

  35. This is very real. Just a Scot speaking out to friends on fb, he wouldn’t mention full names if its fake. He is in genuine shock that it went viral!!

  36. I vote fake.

    I found the image on a “cars for sale” site.
    Viral add for PKR – mentioned it in one of his later posts….place your bets…will watch with interest!
    jls