They’re Hip. They Christian. They’re Coming To Ireland

at

Watch here.

Ronan writes:

If you donate to these people (who I might add are coming to volunteer In a country that has a higher standard of living, quality of life and human rights index score than the one they are coming from) you will receive the following culturally offensive gifts:

$50 A Clover from Ireland
Pressed and packaged clover from Ireland
$75 A Box of Lucky Charms
It’s the luck of the Irish in a box of goodness!
$100 Irish Tea!
A box of the finest Irish Tea straight from the green hills!
$200 ADP Ireland Team Shirt
A custom designed American Dance Party shirt, designed just for theIreland Missions trip.
$500 An Irish Leprechaun Hat
A beautiful green top hat

123 thoughts on “They’re Hip. They Christian. They’re Coming To Ireland

    1. James M. Chimney

      Fire could be classed as “warm” and a the beating could by “enthusiastic”. Just sayin’.

      1. woesinger

        I would actually give an entire box of Lucky Charms to see a video of young Mitt going door to door in Finglas in the 70s.

  1. Drogg

    I apologise for my comment in advance and I will redact it as much as possible. Who the @&€) do these ^$|>> god €&$¥{%%* @”&( smokers think they are. If they come here I hope they get )&&:::62:7 in the ^#* and there heads mounted like a +]££¥{\>££ cheetah @@++} a hippopotamus in the €&:+%~>£^< and they can *]$<¥ mammys €&/+^%]

  2. ANVIL

    It’s great to see how the rest of the world really perceives Ireland.
    A needy country of diddly-eyes and begorrahs.

    1. Em01

      The rest of the world? Or three complete fruitcakes wandering around a field?looks like it’s really just these three planning their Thanksgiving break.

  3. Rumpleforeskin

    Yeah, you’re not welcome here, thanks. Ireland is almost entirely Catholic and the Catholic church basically had sex with all the kids and had everyone living in fear for decades. Also, God probably doesn’t exist and certainly not in the way you describe it. Slán abhaile!

    1. Rumpleforeskin

      Also, what’s with the tattoos? Didn’t you read the babble? Leviticus 19:28: “19:28 Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD.”

      HEATHENS!

      1. Lazslo

        Bible for fun!

        Leviticus 19:27 – “You shall not round off the side-growth of your heads nor harm the edges of your beard.”

        Deuteronomy 25:11-12.”If two men, a man and his countryman, are struggling together, and the wife of one comes near to deliver her husband from the hand of the one who is striking him, and puts out her hand and seizes his genitals, then you shall cut off her hand; you shall not show pity.”

        1. Aisling

          How come bits like that Deuteronomy quote never seem to be read out at Sunday Mass! Might liven the place up a bit more if they were.

          1. Operatick

            Ahh some lovely peaceful vibes from Deuteronomy: ‘And we utterly destroyed them, as we did unto Sihon king of Heshbon, utterly destroying the men, women, and children, of every city.’

            Smash them with PEACE! Especially the children!

        2. Fergd

          Clearly the sheepherder who was writing this had personal experience of just such a situation.
          “I was having a bit of a barney with Ishmael the other day and you’ll never believe what his missus did, only grab my coin purse and give it a quick squeeze! So I headed home to that book I was telling ye I was writing and added that to the list of shit women can’t do!”

        3. nickm

          Wait, so does she lose the hand if she cops a feel off her husband or the one who is striking him?

          And this only between a man and his countryman, so I assume my wife can aggressively grope a scotsman? Or does it mean that she can keep the hand if she gropes /me/ while I’m struggling with a scotsman?

          What

          1. woesinger

            I believe the standard response at this juncture is “god works in mysterious ways”.

            That or “ignore the man behind the curtain”. I’m never sure which.

        4. DenisR

          The old law of Israel has never applied to Christians.
          I understand you have greivences with religion, but please refrain from judging a book you don’t understand.

          1. Gav D

            So what Leviticus says about the gays is obviously wrong then? As opposed to taken literally by millions because it suits them to?

            Funny that.

  4. Mikey

    How about instead of giving them $500 for an Irish Leprechaun Hat, I just buy one for €3 off Grafton Street?

    1. woesinger

      That’s the power of JESUS!

      Jesus, in fairness, has been in a bit of a creative slump recently, miracle-wise. But then anything he did was always going to be overshadowed by his early work.

  5. PutThatDown!!

    A box of the finest Irish Tea straight from the green hills!???
    Do we actually grow tea in this country or is someone going to pay $100 for a box of Lyons or Barrys tea?? :)

      1. gav

        No no dan. We got that point. However gifting someone a box of Barry’s or Lyons tea for 100 dollars? I’ll give it to them for 50!

        1. woesinger

          Ah now, everyone knows that Lyons and Barrys tea come from India or some such outforrigden spot. Don’t be trying to fool these fine young gentlemen.

          I, on the other hand, can offer genuine Irish green tea, freshly harvested from the emerald hills of Eire. Only $75

          (No refunds. Any resemblance to lawn cuttings is purely coincidental.)

  6. Captain Obvious

    Who are these jokers?
    Do they think a few baseball hats and a vest makes religion look cool? Well it doesn’t …it’s still a load of stories wrapped up in superstition wrapped up in dogma wrapped up in group think.

    1. irlandesa

      done – unfortunately a) it was kept private b) it used the name part of my email address as my username

      feckers

      1. dez the heathen

        I like this quote…. from their comments page “We need your help to make Ireland possible………”

        They need better geography books and some education. Stop reading the damned bible.

  7. Dan

    As Molly Malone’s great-great-great-great grandson, I’d give them a tour of Dublin for $5,000. (For $10,000, I’ll do it in person.)

  8. James M. Chimney

    The Reverend Jim asks you not to donate to these chancers and instead bottle up your love and spray it all over Jesus this Sunday at 11am.

  9. Micko

    This is genius!

    I’m planning a trip to spread the “word of god” and feed poor folks n stuff to ..ummm.. I dunno …lets say Hawaii

    Who’ll fund me?

  10. missred

    Well there’s already one eejit on the indiegogo fundit page who has paid $200 for the bleedin’ ADP Ireland Team Shirt……

    1. Yea, Ok

      That was obviously Deborah Lutz, who is, I would safely assume, probably Jake Lutz’s mother (Jake Lutz created the page).

      1. Captain Obvious

        Ah damn…now I know how it all ends…just like the ‘Michael Collins’ film…except I could be in it…isn’t religion just great!!!

  11. Aisling

    According to the Indiegogo site, if you donate $2000, they’ll send you a handmade kilt from Ireland….I think these boys have gotten their geography a bit mixed up!

    1. James M. Chimney

      Probably a tweed skirt from Boyers.

      The kilt became popular with Irish nationalists at the turn of the 20th century as a symbol of Celtic identity.

  12. beardy man-child

    Surely as Hipsters they shouldn’t be into the Bible and Jesus? It’s already quite popular ain’t it? And I am pretty sure people read the Bible and were into it before they did which is the hipster no no.

  13. Sean

    If they all think that Ireland is a country full of primitive people, let’s beat them with sticks.

      1. woesinger

        Have you ever tried to bludgeon a man to death with a USB stick?

        It’s bloody difficult.

        Not impossible mind – just difficult.

          1. woesinger

            A USB flail will be my weapon of choice in the final battle of Armageddon (the end of the world thing, not the movie).

        1. James M. Chimney

          I once killed a man with a Colecovision.

          Dark times indeed, the cartridges for those things were hard to come by.

          1. James M. Chimney

            A big feck off NAS Drive dropped from a height. I’ve one at home that must weigh a few kilos. It’s full of death metal and 20 or so lingerie shoots. Apt

    1. Lan

      But…they’ll pray for that person to get better/wealthier/less gay etc. I mean it’s not like saying “we’ll pray for you” is the same as “I’l think about how you’re suffering but not actually do anything about it”…

  14. albee

    Can we not just tell them they’re not welcome? There’s more than enough believing in fairy tales going on in this country already.

    1. Bobby

      F**k that nonsense, they’ll be agnostic (not a spelling mistake, agnostic) if I get me hands on ‘em!

  15. Niamh

    Anyone else reckon they’re just trying to scam gullible American do-gooder Christians into paying for their holiday??

  16. McWhat

    One of the least informative and most annoying videos I have ever sat through.

    Thanks random Christian Americans for coming to save us. I hope everyone they meet lets them know how ignorant and douchey they are.

    1. Woesinger

      They’re bad because I only just got the woad washed off after greeting the last missionaries came telling us of their skyfather in the far off land of A-mer-ik-a.

      And have you seen what lime does to your hair? Sure it looks great when the wickerman goes up in flames, but the split ends are nightmare.

  17. Snide Commenter

    “Visitors who have not contributed to this campaign can only post private comments.”

    Boo!

    1. Niamh

      In other words, only the people who think it’s legit and donate to them will get to comment, and their comments will make it look more legit… it’s got SCAM written all over it.

  18. D

    Would they not be better off going to the deep south in their own country?? As was said above, we have a higher GDP/person, average wage, standard of living, HDI and whatever other stat you can think of than the US, why are they coming here?!

    1. Snide Commenter

      The fact that they’re coming FROM the deep south is particularly galling. Whatever happened to ‘charity starts at home’?!

      Reminds me of gobshite students who beg for fundraising money in order to go on a nice summer holiday in Africa. How about this, we take the few grand it costs to send you over there and give it directly to the people who deserve it? What can some rich kid achieve that a local aid worker can’t?

      1. Fat Frog

        I visited projects in Mississippi last year – the poorest State in the US. I have NEVER experienced anything like the poverty there. It is utterly shocking and beggars belief that such poverty exists in a developed country, one that holds itself up as a paragon of ciivilisation.

        And surprise, surprise, the poorest of the poor are people of colour. For so many, food banks are the only thing that stand between them and starvation. I witnessed homeless people rummaging in bins for something to eat.

        The arrogance of these missionaries is galling and tantamount to racism. My message for them is stay at home and look around you. See the segregated society you have in your own backyard that affords no protection to the weakest and most vulnerable. And then do something about it. Don’t wast the airfare coming here when the money is so badly needed where you are.

  19. Kevin C

    This video reminds me of the begining of the Blair Witch Project where the kids are heading off into the woods all chirpy and enthusiastic like……. Cant wait to see the next clip when their crying into the camera at 3a.m on a Saturday nite in the middle on Templebar, Should look sumting like this!!!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z66RpatHajQ

  20. Retro

    Got a direct response for my comment on their site. Thoughts?

    “We are sorry you feel this way about our trip. We are so sorry people portrayed Jesus so poorly to you… We know there are tons of areas with people in worse conditions. This goes beyond fulfilling physical needs. Jesus was shown poorly and forced. The gospel has shown the wrong light. Its about loving everyone regardless of what you come from and the differences in our beliefs. We are so sorry this is how you feel. Thank you so much for the honesty and sincerity. With love, SEU Team Ireland”

    1. Leeann

      That’s the exact same message a friend of mine got too, after posting a comment on the Indiegogo site. (and she never mentioned religion!)

      They’re resorted to Christian copypasta to cover their asses because they can’t think for themselves. Waste.

      1. Will

        The fund-raiser page has gone in to “draft mode”. Essentially it looks like the fund-raiser has stopped.

        SEU is SEU.edu or South Eastern University. Its worth taking a look at their site (be sure to take a look at the institutional goals. And the campus map, I want to see pictures of the Bush Chapel).

        I suspect that they don’t get many Irish international students, if they did they might have realised just how offensive the “Lucky Charms” thing was (which you can’t get over here).

    2. Xiao Liu

      Oh dear, that’s barely English. “The gospel has shown the wrong light” – are they sure that’s what they meant to say? Poor things, I feel so sorry for them, this must have been a shock. I always make sure I’m extra nice to dopey, well-meaning young Americans when they try and convert me in Europe – it’s usually Tintin-faced Mormons though, and they tend to make a much better impression, in their spiffy suits!

  21. Ben

    GUYS – GET A LIFE, GO LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR FACE!

    A little bit of faith could be good for Ireland.

    And you ‘American-Irish’ who are experts on us real Irish; get real! What do you about being Irish!?

    Go raibh Maithili agat

  22. annon

    My brother happens to be one of these “do-gooder-hipsters,” in fact he’s the one with the “chocolate drops” in his ears and I have to say, no matter what you believe, to be bashing on someone you know nothing about is wrong no matter what. This is a team of big hearted people who just want to share the love that they have been given. They don’t want to shove anything down anyone’s throats or beat you over the head with Bibles. They didn’t have the intent on poking fun of your country when they decided on the gifts to go along with donations. I understand that most of you don’t believe in God, and that is okay to make that choice for yourself, but these guys believe and there isn’t anything wrong with them entering into your country and sharing their lives. If you didn’t know they were Christians, you wouldn’t be hating on them right now. Accepting people who are different from you is a challenge, but put yourself in the shoes of others every once in a while and you may be able to see things a little differently. God bless! Praying for you Team Ireland.

    1. Brendan Madden

      I think the issue is that it comes across as… uninformed… arrogant… cringe-inducing… stereotype-upon-stereotype…

      Which is a pity. Because maybe they do have hearts in the right place, and a desire to share something that’s made a massive difference in their lives.

      You might not see it that way but you have to come at it from the perspective of the people who are feeling healthy and being told they need surgery. They don’t necessarily know what you know, see what you see, etc. The trouble is though that, all slagging aside, the video essentially contains no information whatsoever. It’s actually relatively offensive to Irish people. It comes across as presumptuous and ill-informed, and the gifts, although maybe intended as humorous, are insulting.

      The relationship between the average Irish person and the church is certainly torn. There’s a serious amount of trust that’s been shredded and there’s been a wholesale abandonment, for better and for worse, of a previously vital structure that up until a few years ago really mattered.

      The thing is, that what we actually need to do before we speak, is to listen.
      And actually, there’s a lot in this comment thread that you can listen to. Some people have written comments that are funny. It’s the Irish humour, a few Father Ted references and it’s meant perhaps not with abounding love, and perhaps with an unintended sprinkling of blasphemy, but it’s by-and-large meant without prejudice. There are also people who are very very angry, for a whole host of reasons. Some of them are going to be reasonable, some aren’t. The frustrating thing is that the fluff that is that video just adds dry grass to a well-fuelled fire. If you want to do good, know what needs doing. Don’t just come with good intentions. They’re meaningless. Be definitive. Show your research. Show your provenance. Don’t just show people in a field reinforcing everything that people here have no time for.

      1. Brendan Madden

        Also, if surgery is needed, do the three people in the video come across as qualified to give it?

        Well, that’s also a matter of perspective, but it’s one that needs to be shared and explained, because it’s not evidenced.

      2. annon

        Well stated, and I agree. I think that although well intended, most of the time the way we in America see one thing is much different to all of you in a completely different part of the world. But do trust that these guys and girls do know what God is calling them to Ireland for, and maybe some of it that He will show them when they get there. Most things that are in God’s plan are unknown to us and revealed in the right timing to have the greatest impact on our lives. Thanks for the feedback and relaying how you are feeling in a mature and easily understood way.

        1. Xiao Liu

          Annon, don’t worry too much about the comments on this thread. If your real-life brother comes to real-life Ireland, he’ll have a lovely time and meet lots of funny and friendly people, all perfectly warm and welcoming, none of whom will care a jot about his religious persuasion (no, really, no-one will care). He and his classmates seem like sweet people, and real-life natives will respond well to them.

          However, if they get enough funding, I would recommend that rather than trying to do vaguely-outlined outreach work and “plan new services around the country,” your brother and his friends would do well to take a historical tour of some of Ireland’s amazing early Christian sites – go to the Skellig beehive huts, Glendalough, places like that (I’m sure other people have more suggestions). This achieves two things: 1. they’ll get out of Dublin, which is of (relatively) limited interest and beauty from a tourism point of view; 2. they’ll get a fantastic new perspective on the breadth and depth of Christianity’s relationship with Western culture. I do hope they get their holiday and that they have a nice time.

    2. Cian

      I think most peoples problem is that the video, to someone who knows nothing about Ireland, positions Ireland as a place that NEEDS your help, when in actual fact, we don’t. We’re not a 3rd world country, we have better standards of living than your own country, yet your video makes it look as if we need a few kids to come over and tell us how to plan our services??

      Further to that, Ireland has a very complicated relationship with organised religion (corruption, oppression and child rape – what the vast majority of us feel the church has provided us), and any forced approach will be bitterly uncomfortable and offensive for most people.

      So all in all, if you are coming here anyway, you should approach it with a big dose of humility and ditch the feeling that you’re swooshing in to save us little islanders. Your heart may very well be in the right place, but it’s your job to convince people of that, and that video is a pretty bad start.

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