Broadsheet Editorial

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As the Chinese Communist Party meet in Beijing the delegates face the task of choosing a new leader to replace Hu Jintao. While China made great progress economically under Mr Hu, the last year of his rule was dogged by scandal, corruption and murder.

His successor faces the daunting task of repairing the party’s image, while simultaneously managing the scientific development of the harmonious society founded by the late Mao Zedong.

While Broadsheet has always been proud of our political independence, we believe that the time has come to endorse the candidacy of Xi Jinping.

Mr Xi, a farm labourer from Shaanxi who studied Chemical Engineering Tsingua University before pursuing a career in politics, is the right man to lead the greatest and most powerful country on earth.

He has the talent, the intelligence and the honesty to guide the democratic centralist reforms which will increase exports, raise living standards and protect China from the aggressive nationalism of the Taiwanese Kuomintang.

Broadsheet calls on all delegates to the 18th Communist Party Congress to vote for Xi Jinping, and his running mate Li Keqiang.

109 thoughts on “Broadsheet Editorial

    1. realPolithick

      Broadsheet has been hacked by the Chinese, Ministry of State Security(MSS). Unless it was the American, Central Intelligence Agencey (CIA) masquarading as the MSS, who did it. Unless it was the MSS masquarading as the CIA, masquarading as the MMS who did it. Unless…a feck it!

    1. cluster

      Biting satire. BS has since been blocked on Chinese internet servers in case this post incites a revolution.

        1. nslatz

          It’s biting satire, his posts are block printed on China cups and saucers in case An Post incites a revulsion.

    1. D

      Well he doesn’t get elected and while he’s almost certain to be selected he’s not actually been chosen yet.

  1. Exile

    Enough of this! Whatever next?

    Classic Parking (Szechuan edition)
    Things that look like China
    LeCool Beijing
    A Kuomintang Thing A Day

  2. Jockstrap

    Must have been hacked by the Irish Independent.

    That’s the only explanation for repeated paragraphs.

  3. BSC

    Is this a joke? Sadly China is has an inherent evil streak. Their government and corporations are raping if not running half the African nations. Destroying the environment and draining natural resources in Africa, Central and South America with nil going to the indigenous people.

        1. halcyon days

          and it was – and satire should be just subtle enough that dumb people don’t recognise it as such

      1. C Sharp

        A proof reader wouldn’t go astray.

        Before it was cleaned up it read like the clumsy ramblings of a script kiddie.

      1. SDaedalus

        Precisely.

        And once again, what happened to former Broadsheet Satirist Dominic Hyde?

        Was he slain following a Hyde-Moynes standoff? Is he Moynes by day and Hyde by night? Inquiring readers (well, possibly only this one) want to know.

    1. Xiao Liu

      Is there a satire-obscuring cloud over Ireland today? Who is responsible for this, if so? In Beijing they only control the weather…

  4. john

    As someone living in China, we thank you for your support of our new military dictator.
    I’m sure he will not kill ,embezzle, and oppress nearly as much.

    Is broadsheet trying to get some guanxi ?

    Remember the CCP is just Fianna Fail you cannot vote out

  5. colm

    People. The joke is that he was chosen by the party years ago and any signs of a democratic vote are purely for show.

    1. Domestos

      True, but I’d still like to hear more about the other candidate so I can make an informed opinion about who’s right and who’s Wong.

  6. Sam Sung

    Before reading this editorial I was thinking I wouldn’t bother going to the Chinese Communist Party meeting to choose a new leader and that I’d just stay at home with the heat on, do my Falon Gong for a while and then play with my Dragons. Now I am overwhelmed by a sense of duty and feel compelled to get down there and do my bit for Xi Jinping and his running mate Li Keqiang. Thanks a lot Broadsheet.

  7. Lunny Loo

    Its very funny post broadsheet, highlighting the lack of democracy in China, looks like most people missed the joke.
    ……….

    it is a joke right?

  8. James van der Kamp

    ho ho what a funny country China is. Executes thieves. Harvests and sells their body parts at auction prior to killing them.How funny.

  9. Orieldude

    It’s satire you f#cking clowns.

    Jesus wept. You lot commenting up there ^ should have your typing forefingers amputated.

          1. Clampers Outside!

            I’ll go one better and nominate a woman… Luci Liu!

            But that might be contentious as her Mum and dad are Taiwanese-Chinese and Luci is Taiwanese-Chinese-American….

            Oh, forget it, it’s like a recruitment drive for the Irish national soccer team!!

    1. Quint

      It’s a clumsy and unfunny attempt at satire, Orieldude. If it has to be explained as satire then the ‘joke’ has backfired.

  10. Damien

    Yay for Tibetan theocracy!
    Xi Jinping is a great lad, loves the hurling and spent 3 days in Ireland compared to Obama’s 1.

  11. Tickle

    I’d like to throw my oar I and remind all the “loser” comments from earlier… it was SATIRE, or something… not to be confused with “sitar”, which is a musical instrument from the other continent.

  12. No Fun

    Yes, it’s poor satire. And no, it’s not funny.

    The fleeting above “Oh, it’s too satirical for you to even comprehend, fool!” style of comments are funnier than the piece they’re responding to.

    But, yes, this is a dire hack job, Broadsheet.
    It’s something that looks like a 20 minutes smug joke with a couple of knowing friends, which doesn’t appeal to a wider audience because it’s just genuinely not funny.

    1. DeanSwift

      Loathe as I am to agree with a hateful contrarian gonk like No Fun, it is correct in its assessment.

      Satire that has to be explained like this, that only a few people get, is rubbish, elitist, smarty pants poncey nonsense, not satire. (Most of the yaysayers above I’d say only ‘got’ it after reading the first ‘I get it’ post.)

      A link or some kind of context would at least have made some sense of the original post.

      Don’t get me wrong. I frickin’ LOVE this site. But this post, as Larry Gogan might say, didn’t suit you.

      I am disappoint.

      1. Domestos

        I’m sure anyone who actually read it, got it to a large degree. I mean I may have missed the IT reference, but I was pretty sure I hadn’t missed the birth of history’s largest ever democracy.

  13. MarkCos

    At least China does not see the need to waste 2 billion giving an illusion of choice. The Obama first term presidency was basically GW Bush term 3.

Comments are closed.