Living On Irish Time

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[The Ansley Sailor Silver (top) as sported by Darren Kennedy (right) with mermen David Gandy, and Oliver Cheshire at June Rodgers in The Red Cow Inn a fashion whatsit in January]

Audi Murray writes:

The Ansley Watch Company was founded in 2012 by Arthur Smith an Irish entrepreneur from Dublin and an Irish-based Swedish designer, both completely Horology obsessed with a penchant for Vintage watches. We’ve launched 2 unisex collections;The Army Series’, and ‘The Sailor Series’ in Sweden and in Ireland we’re having a fantastic reaction from customers,stockists and hope to export Ansley this year. We’re firmly committed to keeping Ansley production in Ireland and we feel there are so many small companies within the Heritage community that can add to the Ansley brand.

Ansley Watches

Irish-made stuff to broadsheet@broadsheet.ie marked Irish-Made Stuff. No fee, timepieces, etc.

Pssst!

Would you like the above watch – worth €149 on YOUR wrist for nothing?

Ansley have given us one to GIVEAWAY.

They would like  YOU to complete this timely sentence

Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to_______________________ because of his/her history of lateness [may include anecdote here].

Lines MUST close at 5.45pm 6.35pm

 

90 thoughts on “Living On Irish Time

  1. bertie blenkinsop

    Would you ever give the watch to my friend who planted the pipe bomb in Long Lane….

  2. J

    Would you ever just give the watch to Irish political culture for its history of being behind the times?

  3. LucyLoo

    Would you ever give the watch to my mate as she’s always late and then has the temerity to attack ME for giving out to her for leaving me hanging around on my tobler for two and a half hours in the rain!!!! She does it all the time!!!

  4. George

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to my mate Alex because of his/her history of lateness [he/she missed his/her sexual reassignment surgery].

  5. Cian

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to John R because of his history of lateness. He has even been late for a funeral (luckily, not his own). John is getting married in June and I don’t want him to be late for his bride.

  6. Bobby

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to me because of my history of lateness, specifically being late pulling out and ending up with a (lovely) 3 and a 1/2 year old son with a Polish mother who lives 70km away. Ride on Time by Blackbox has taken on a whole new meaning to me.

  7. OP

    You should give the watch to me because ironically I am over an hour and a half ahead of your deadline in posting this comment. And if there is one thing Broadsheet love it’s a healthy (and timely) does of irony.

  8. RexS

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to my mate Colin because he managed to show up late to not one, but two final exams. Still hadn’t got the hang of the whole 24 hour clock thing by then it seems. No Colin 14.00 and 4pm are not the same thing.

  9. Fredtheninja

    Would you ever just give the watch to the Catholic Church, because of their history of lateness and total inability to catch up with modern times.

  10. Sean

    Would you ever give the watch to my dad JJ. He’s always fierce late for things and drives his long suffering wife around the twist. Plus he’s a proud Tipp man so the wristband would wind him up no end so he’d probably not wear it and give it back to me. Win all round says I.

  11. padmundo

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to the Secretary General Brian Purcell *cough* alan shatter, because of his history of lateness. Sure it only took him 8 days to pass an urgent letter on… or to read it.

    1. padmundo

      …or failing that would you ever just give the Ansley watch to my bro because of his history of lateness. He’s yet to actually own one. That’s pretty late catching on considering he’s 30.

  12. catto

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to my dad because he’s so consistently late for everything my mam has sworn his coffin will be arriving an hour late to his own funeral.

  13. TrippyRez

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to Hugh because of his history of lateness has resulted in a tear in the space time continuum which will result in us all being transported back to 1985 where we’ll all be forced to have terrible hair and even worse clothes. We don’t want it to turn into a continuous loop so he needs a good time piece so that when the future arrives it doesn’t happen.

  14. Bejayziz

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to my brother because of his/her history of lateness, showing up to his friends wedding 3 hours late because he “forgot to change the time” after returning from Berlin, he was the best man at said wedding!

  15. Laszlo

    Would you ever give the watch to my girlfriend Louise – who is problematically punctual – so I can set it 10-15 minutes slow and start getting back in the good books.

  16. Murtles

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to my friend Barry because of his history of lateness he caused someone to be late for their own funeral (by blocking the entrance of the family home with his car and coming back 20 minutes late leaving lots of people standing around in the rain at the house and the church. A team of lads were warming up to bounce the car clear when he arrived).

  17. Ellie

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to my Dad, who turned 72 yesterday. He may be the loveliest man in the world but he has the worst time-keeping skills ever! He was literally late to his own wedding, after he fell asleep in the bath the morning of. He could definitely do with a watch!

  18. RichD

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to my lovely missus Lisa; that way I know that next time she calls me to tell me she’s late I can start panicking for real…

  19. Ryan

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to me because my last watch was a gift from RTE and I had to tell it to f*ck off out of my life & now I never know the time!

  20. Ryan

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to me because my last watch was a gift from RTE and I had to tell it to f~~k off out of my life & now I never know the time!

  21. Cormac O'Halloran

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to my good self, who has twice in the past 2 months, woken up at 1.30pm on a Friday afternoon when work commenced at 8.30am. Needless to say the same excuse wont work for a third time Im guessing

  22. (name)

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to me because my watch is wonky – 2 hourly indicators (3 & 9) have fallen off inside the glass and keep rolling around sometimes getting caught in the hands and stopping time.

  23. The Bad Ambassador

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to my wife because without this fetching timepiece she would become The Late Mrs. Bad Ambassador – and I’m not ready to lose her just yet.

    *Psst* I am (after all, I’d get the house and the life assurance would cover the mortgage) but she might read these comments.

    If you’re reading – love you sweetie.

  24. ArtVandelay

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to me because as a Canadian I am not on Irish time and I’m usually the first to show up, ontime, at parties/appointments/meetings. A timepiece that helped me show up 15 mins late to everything would help me to assimilate.

  25. tito

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to__my brother__ because he’s late for everything at the minute because he’s on crutches and can’t drive. I’ll put the watch on the top of the fridge and take away his crutches. We’ll take bets on how long it’ll take him to crawl over. It’ll be a great day for all concerned. It’s his birthday so we might as well do something.

  26. DancingFred

    Would you ever just give the watch to my father who has spent a lifetime waiting for his lazy son, every time greeting my tardiness in his finest Shakesperian/Kerry accent; “I can never think well of a man’s intellectual or moral character, if he is habitually unfaithful to his appointments…Now get in the f***king car before I kick your arse”. Good times.

  27. Frilly Keane

    Would ye ever give that beauty t’me. I’ve no shame in admitting that I’ve never bin’on time for anything in my adult life.

    If successful, I’ll commit myself to Ansley time and try not ta’make a show of ye.

    In the meantime, g’luck with it.

  28. Phil

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to_______ME________________ because sure I’ve only the one and I can’t change the time on it to accommodate Daylight Savings Time and am constantly running an hour behind the rest of the country! The boss is only furious!

  29. BigTom

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to my girlfriend because of she is late and I’m getting very nervous..

  30. Nessy

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to my dad because of his history of lateness in getting with the times, he’s still living in the 50’s shunning all modern technology and can’t even send an SMS!

  31. BluBlu

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to me because of my history of lateness. My cocktail will consist of Cork Gin, Hallets Cider, Scottish Whisk(e)y, Pimms, Orangina and Limoncello.

  32. Pedant

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to my former mate anto because of since he cash for gold’d my rolex for gear I haven’t got him to his methadone clinic on time once.

  33. Advertising On Police Cars

    Would you ever give this watch to Christopher Walken so he can hide this watch up his ass

    1. BallsToTheWa

      Would you ever just give the watch to Zlatan Ibrahimovic because he is great and Swedish and funny and I like him very much. Actually there is a great anecdote in his book about him meeting some random bloke he met on the internet and giving him a fancy watch.

  34. timbot

    Woud you ever give it to my mate Keith who started a new job, went to lunch and came back two and a half hours later not realising that his watch had stopped.

  35. spider

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to my little brother Andrew, not because of his history of lateness, but because he needs to learn the value of a fine timepiece on his wrist, rather than a phone in his pocket…

  36. dragratchet

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to me because i was habitually early for everything by about 20 minutes until i met my girlfriend who is never on time for anything other than her job. my skin crawls as i have to show up for weddings, dinners, sports events, gigs and everything in between half an hour late, at least with a new watch i can waggle it threateningly in her direction as i wait for her hair to dry.

  37. scottser

    would you ever give me the watch cos when i was feeling suicidal once, i threw myself behind a train.

  38. Rapscallion

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to my wife, Karen, because of her history of exemplary time-keeping which, now that her ‘day watch’ strap is banjaxed, requires frequent glances at her iPhone for the time, where she immediately gets sucked in by the likes of Broadsheet, Facebook etc, and may soon end up quite late. And we already have two kids, thank you very much.

  39. Mick

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to my boyfriend Seamus because of his history of lateness. He. Is. Rediculous. Shit he’s been late for include: Final Year exams, Graduation (separately), every dinner date ever.
    He’s missed flights to (and from, different trips) Canada and Thailand, and at least 3 flights to the UK (he’s not busy, just tardy).
    He says he’d rather be 5 mins late than 15 mins early.
    Over the course of our nine years, i have given him 3 watches, so that he will KNOW at least that he IS late, Which he’s proceded to lose (2) or ‘Didn’t have time to find’ SAKE.

    so Seamus. please.

    It’s a constant state with him, and i’d lik

  40. Mick

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to my boyfriend Seamus because of his history of lateness. He. Is. Rediculous. Shit he’s been late for include: Final Year exams, Graduation (separately), every dinner date ever.
    He’s missed flights to (and from, different trips) Canada and Thailand, and at least 3 flights to the UK (he’s not busy, just tardy).
    He says he’d rather be 5 mins late than 15 mins early.
    Over the course of our nine years, i have given him 3 watches, so that he will KNOW at least that he IS late, Which he’s proceded to lose (2) or ‘Didn’t have time to find’ SAKE.

    so Seamus. please.

  41. DaithiT

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to me, because every time I go to collect my first holy communion watch from the repair shop, the shop is closed. Its getting a bit tight anyway for my 30 year old wrists

  42. Kieran NYC

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to me because of my history of lateness which would mean I actually make my next flight home and so avoid a smack around the head from mammy because she loves me so much and misses me.

  43. KD

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to me because I work as a Freelancer and I’d love to know the meaning of time for once. Also, I’m poor because I’m a Freelancer.

  44. Count Chuckula

    I would give the watch to Broadsheet because I’m still waiting to hear who won the Dublin M50 print competition, about a month ago.

  45. Royal M

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to me because I don’t own a watch and I think it looks rather nice.

  46. colm

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to My mammy Brid because of her history of lateness. She’s been so late that she now has 4 kids leppin’ about the place!

  47. Kearnivale

    Would you ever give me the watch because I’m late and can’t raise a child on me own.

  48. WibblyWobblyWilbur

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to me, WibblyWobblyWilbur, because my history of lateness includes stretches all the way back to my birth. Born two weeks late (thus thankfully avoiding being named Valentine in honour of the Saint), my entire narrative seems to have rotated around the broken clock-face of being horrifically late. Many the missed film, essay deadline, shift in work and date have earned me a reputation of being as unreliable as a Dublin Bus (pre-Real Time). My lateness has gotten so bad that the universe seems to now handle my awful timekeeping for me, throwing numerous obstacles and acts of God in my way (such as an hour delay on a RyanAir flight to Edinburgh yesterday), presenting me with pre-made and backed up arguments for my constantly standing people up, and thus fostering and furthering my bad habit. So please, Broadsheet, help me kick my severe lack of punctual practices to the curb and grant me the very gift of time itself. My friends, loved ones and writs will thank you!

    1. WibblyWobblyWilbur

      Further evidence of my lateness, posting this with only 5 minutes to spare. I need help.

  49. Action Man

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to m… ahh feck it, too late.
    And I really could have done with one.

  50. Steve

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to me because my last casio just broke and my wrist feels so weird with nothing on

  51. Thatoneagain

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to my dad, because of his history of lateness, which made him so late for his own birthday last year they ate the cake before he got there out of hunger. A watch might soften the blow, sure.

  52. mo_musing

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to my boyfriend Hansel (yes that’s his name!) because of his history of lateness. He runs on Caribbean time. He once kept me waiting in Columbus circle for two and a half hours while he chopped strawberries for me, in Brooklyn!

  53. El Cuno

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to me because…shit, what time was the deadline?

  54. Goosey Lucy

    Can we urgently discuss the rather disturbing fact that a large proportion of male broadsheet readers think that a woman’s menstrual cycle can be calculated on a wrist watch? !?
    Nice watches, mind

  55. Harchibald

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to my mate Dave because of his history of lateness. Well, actually he’s ridiculously punctual but he recently lost his watch. He’s so punctual I have a jingle I sing when he arrives. I will send in a video of said jingle with aforementioned watch if he wins. It runs thusly:

    It’s punctual Dave
    He’s always on time
    If it’s meant to be six
    Then it’s five fifty niiiine (jazz hands)

  56. DaithiT

    Would you ever just give the Ansley watch to me because 15 years ago, I met a young orphan.
    Both his parents had been killed in a bizarre accident
    That’s it – a tree fell on them.
    This young man had nothing to his name except a dream.
    His dream was to own his own stable, with prize-winning horses.
    But he was afflicted by a disease that affected his speech.
    He could only communicate by raising his eyebrows – once for yes, twice for no.
    “If only I had an Ansley watch “so I could time my horses and train them to win the Grand National,” he thought.
    That same boy wrote to me five weeks ago….

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