In Your Head In Your Head

at

chriscranberries

Yikes!

They’re still fighting?

Further to Robert’s appeal yesterday looking for excellence in the field of Irish (non traditional) music lyrics.

Eric writes:

“Can I suggest a search for the worst Irish lyrics….. If it doesn’t include lines from Zombie [The Cranberries, 1994] you’ve lost yourself a reader.”

Anyone?

Yesterday: Your Favourite Words

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73 thoughts on “In Your Head In Your Head

      1. Spaghetti Hoop

        +1972
        Me heart races when up from the corner of the bar comes an oul throaty…..”Armoured cars and tanks and guns …”

        1. will-billy

          lol

          you should check out Billy Reed ” the radio said
          there’s another shot dead
          and he died with a gun in his hand” :)

    1. scottser

      but i would accept anything daniel, margo etc. ‘when irish eyes are smiling’ and other puke-filled paddywhackery will do.

  1. Jeremy Kyle

    “Oh I am a little Ferguson built so many years ago
    I was bought up in Dublin at the RDS spring show
    I’m a lovely little tractor and I look so very cute
    Not like the tractor of today that great big ugly brute”

    – R.Kavanagh

    1. Paraic elliott

      Yes, and cheesy as some people think it is , its a great song, number one in dozens of countries when our only exports were u2, the rats and lizzie (and a few others)

  2. Llareggub

    You could not get worse than this…

    Do you want your old lobby washed down, conshine
    Do you want your old lobby washed down
    When I goes to court, I says “Here goes for sport
    Do you want your old lobby washed down, conshine

    1. Friday

      that’s pretty bad, but if anyone could dig up the lyrics of “in the back of stevie’s bus” we’d have a winner.

  3. hh

    What about the Blizzards rhyming “thing” with “thing” in “Fantasy”?

    You know my girlfriend, she doesn’t know a thing
    Pure ignorance is such a beautiful thing

  4. Jess

    “O’Leary, O’Reilly, O’Hare and O’Hara There’s no one as Irish as Barack O’Bama”

    I will fight you!

  5. Hank

    “Well anyone can be a star
    Well anyone can be a star
    Well just get in your car
    And we can go and be a star..”

    Beat that..

        1. scottser

          i was thinking of revelate meself.:
          my revelate,, my number 8, my garden gate, my roof of slate, pete postlethwaite etc.

  6. Custo

    She wears diamonds she wears rubies
    She wears stones as big as my ones
    That came from the coliseum
    And she says “D’you wanna see them?”

    urgh

  7. bisted

    Oh no, ’twas the truth in her eyes ever dawning,
    That made me love Mary, the Rose of Tralee.

  8. Slightly Bemused

    How about:

    My little Honda 50
    She’s rapid and she’s nifty
    She’ll do 150 on a windy day…

  9. Mick Flavin

    Seamus Moore: “Pakistani Pat”

    “Me father he’s a Muslim and me mother she’s RC,
    I got Muhammed for me breakfast and St Patrick for me tea,
    Me father eats chapati and me mother Irish stew,
    If it wasn’t for the fish and chips
    I don’t know what I’d do…”

    Actually, this may belong in the other list…

  10. narkie

    zombie was poetry…

    how about:
    Sarajevo, Sarajevo, Sarajevo, Sarajevo.
    Bosnia was so unkind.
    Sarajevo, Sarajevo, Saraje-
    Bosnia was so unkind.

    or:
    To all those people doin’ lines,
    Don’t do it, don’t do it.
    Inject your soul with liberty,
    It’s free, it’s free.

    To all the kids with heroin eyes,
    Don’t do it, don’t do it.
    Because it’s not not what it seems,
    No no it’s not not what it seems.

    Ah, Dolores…

    1. Mani

      More from the Dolores oeuvre:

      They say the cream will always rise to the top.
      They say that good people are always first to drop.
      What of Kurt Cobain, will his presence still remain?
      Remember JFK, ever saintly in a way.
      Where are you now?
      Where are you now?
      Where are you now, I said,
      Where are you no-ow?

  11. Stephen

    Don’t love me for fun, girl
    Let me be the one, girl
    Love me for a reason
    Let the reason be love

  12. Mick Pilsworth

    Sultans of Ping:
    Where’s me Jumper ?

    My, brother, knows, Karl Marx,
    He met him eating mushrooms in the peoples park,
    He said ‘What do you think about my manifesto?’
    ‘I like a manifesto, put it to the test-o.’

    Took it straight down to meet the anarchist’s party.
    I met a groovy guy, he was arty farty,
    He said ‘I know a little latin man a cus man a kai’
    I said ‘I don’t know what it means’ he said ‘neither do I’

    Eat natural foods, bathe twice daily,
    Fill your nostrils up with gravy.
    Don’t drink tea and don’t drink coffee.
    Cover your chin in yorkshire toffee.

    Dancing in the disco, bumper to bumber,
    Wait a minute, where’s me jumper, ( x4 )

    Dancing at the disco, bumper to bumber,
    Wait a minute, where’s me jumper ? ( x5 )
    Oh no.
    Dancing at the disco, go, go, go.
    Dancing at the disco, oh no, oh no, oh no.
    Dancing at the disco, go, go, go.
    Dancing at the disco, oh no, oh no.
    It’s alright to say things can only get better,
    You haven’t lost your brand new sweater.
    I know I had it on when I had my tea,
    And I’m sure I had it on in the lavatory.
    Oh no.
    Dancing in the disco, go, go, go.
    Dancing in the disco, oh no, oh no.
    Dancing in the disco, bumper to bumper,
    Wait a minute, where’s me jumper ? ( x5 )
    It’s alright to say things can only get better,
    You haven’t lost your brand new sweater.
    Pure new wool, and perfect stitches,
    Not the type of jumper that makes you itches
    Oh no.
    Dancing in the disco, go, go, go.
    Dancing in the disco, oh no, oh no.
    And my mother, will be so, so angry.
    And my brother, will be so, so angry.
    And my girlfriend, will be so, so angry.
    And my dog, will be so, so angry.
    Cos I was dancing at the disco, bumper to bumper.
    Wait a minute, where’s me jumper ( x5 )
    Oh no !

    1. Spaghetti Hoop

      +missing jumper
      Thought of that one for crap lyrics yet great delivery.
      Broadsters! We’ll be needing a new category…..

  13. Reegore

    I’m cringing at the mere sight of these words…

    “Put the message in the box
    Put the box into the car
    Drive the car around the world
    Until you get heard”

  14. hh

    don’t forget John Waters’ masterpiece:

    The curtain has been raised
    And Europe’s all one stage
    And the archipelagic icicles
    Have melted like the cage

  15. Eamonn Clancy

    Worst lyrics ever are the re written ones to that vile R Keating version of a Fairy tale of New York.

  16. Friday

    The smell on Patrick’s Bridge is wicked
    How does Father Matthew stick it?
    Here’s up them all says the boys of Fairhill

    The Blarney hens don’t lays at all
    And when they lays they lays ’em small
    Here’s up them all says the boys of Fairhill

    The Blackpool girls are very rude
    They go swimming in the nude
    Here’s up them all says the boys of Fairhill

    Blackpool boys are very nice
    I have tried them once or twice
    Here’s up them all says the boys of Fairhill

    If you come to Cork you’ll get drisheen
    Murphy’s stout and pigs crubeens
    Here’s up them all says the boys of Fairhill

    Well, Christy Ring he hooked the ball
    We hooked him up, balls and all
    Here’s up them all says the boys of Fairhill

    The smell on Patrick’s Bridge is wicked
    How does Father Matthew stick it?
    Here’s up them all says the boys of Fairhill
    Here’s up them all says the boys of Fairhill

  17. Tannoy

    Anything by the Script obviously, such as:
    “All her life she has seen /All the meaner side of me
    They took away the prophet’s dream for a profit on the street”
    What vision to play prophet off against profit!

    Or how about:
    ” You can be the greatest /You can be the best
    You can be the King Kong banging on your chest”

    Or my personal favourite teen-angst-via-TV-a-thon:
    “She’s all laid up in bed with a broken heart,
    While I’m drinking jack all alone in my local bar …
    She needs me now but I can’t seem to find the time,
    I’ve got a new job now on the unemployment line”

  18. TC1965

    Not sure if below are absolutely brilliant or complete doo doo

    Me and Howard Hughes.. Bob and the boys

    Hand me down a strong panacea,
    One that’s guaranteed to make me feel like Hercules,
    There’s flies everywhere, buzzing in the air,
    Filling my body with filth and disease….and I think,

    He thinks he should develop a complex,
    He thinks that he really owes it to himself,
    His friends’ll all say he’s looking sick and unhealthy
    An’ then he can wallow in sweet self-neglect

    1. scottser

      geldof is a fine writer imo. rat-trap, and when the night comes are epic tunes. i can’t really see him in any ‘worst lyrics’ category meself.

  19. Parp

    I need a Mars Bar
    Hey raid the Spa
    To help me through the day
    I need a Mars Bar
    I’ve had total fun
    It helps me – makes me – work rest and play
    It helps me – makes me – work rest and play
    I never eat my dinner
    I push away the plate
    You can see I’m getting thinner
    Because I just can’t wait

    To get my Mars Bar
    Hey raid the Spar …

    To Patrick Moore and David Bowie
    And all the other stars
    There’s evidence here to show
    That there’s life on Mars

    I need a …

    There’s glucose for energy
    Caramel for strength
    The chocolate’s only there
    To keep it the right length

    I need a …

    To anybody out there who still eats Twix ?
    Anybody on packets of Buttons ?
    I gave them up when I was six
    I hope your teeth are rotten

    I need a …

    Work – rest and play

  20. Sillymoo

    Two eggs two rasher two sausage two Bacon Two puddins one Black and white

    All placed like a tower on top of each other and then wrapped up good and

    tight

    If you¹re having some tea the milks over there and you¹ll find sugar in the bowl

    Says she Do you want some sauce on that says I, I do in my roll

  21. f_lawless

    always thought there were some gems in Scary Eire’s “Dole Q”!
    “the auld one is screamin at me to get off me f*ckin hole,
    get out and get a job, stay off that jaysis dole”
    “good jaysus, bless us and save us, it’d sicken your hole,
    the things ye have to go through to get your l*ckin dole”
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tiSDF1bT59A

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