As the Pregnant stand-up she warned if the audience didn’t laugh she would go into labour.
And having just had her third baby in February Emma Doran is taking her kids her own one mother show to the Mill Theatre in Dundrum on September 18.
Emma has three children 12, 2 and 7 months and her show covers everything from family, dead grannies, children, teen pregnancy and sex, or lack thereof.
We have Two pairs of tickets (yes just two PAIRS) to give away to to two ‘sheet reading tippling matriachs. To enter, just complete this sentence:
I am a real mother and I need a goddamn_________________[name of alcoholic beverage]
Lines MUST close at MIDNIGHT
[Winners will receive a free shot of their chosen hooch on the night].
Emma Doran’s Mammy needs A Drink (Mill Theatre)
Poster by Sara Sheridan
I am a real mother and I need a goddamn Ritz!
What… what.. is going on? The third female-focused post today?! Shocking scenes of representativeness!!!
Ugh, have you even been fertilised? Come back to me after you’ve been knocked up like a real woman!
I’m working on it, I’m working on it!!!
*crack of the whip from the mammy*
I am a real mother* and I need a goddamn Long Island Iced-Mojito!
(*Entering the competition for my wife and her mate, they’d love this)
Jonotti would love this one. I’d say he likes the old phlegm hackle laugh so beloved of middle aged wans.
And ask for a Snowball
I’m a real mother and the last thing I want to do is go listen to another mother wang on hilariously about her kids.
I’d prefer just to drink a few strong negronis and laugh with/at myself, ta.
I am a NOT ‘real mother’ and I DONT need aNOTHER goddamn SMUG PARENT TO INADVERTENTLY RUB MY INFERTILITY STRUGGLES IN MY FACE.
Having kids is fupping poo.
I am a real mother and I need a goddamn gin or something, and I aint drinkin no merlot
I’m a real mother and I need a goddamn Old Fashioned. Sod it, just give me whatever is closest!
I’m a real motherf…… and I need a goddamn bottle of whiskey. I don’t want a glass.
I am a real mother and I need a goddamn Virgin Mary cos that Sex on the Beach landed me with a little Margarita!
My mother is a REAL mother, grandmother, sister and friend, and she needs a G&T STAT. Please allow this distant (yet favourite) daughter gift her a free ticket!
How can you tell?
If I’m a real mother
Or a mockie’ah one, aka a man
with moobies
And capri pants
I’ll have whatevers already open
Now you know for sure