Aidan O’Connell
Aidan O’Connell writes:
I have been diagnosed with GAD (generalised anxiety disorder), depression, OCD, borderline personality disorder, somatic illness, social anxiety disorder and panic attack disorder – all separately over the course of the 15 years.
I have doctor shopped and seen over a dozen-plus GPs, at my worst seeing multiple doctors on the same day. I have also seen multiple psychiatrists, again possibly over a dozen. That’s why there is a cluster of diagnoses above, “Doctors differ, and patients suffer”.
I am under the care of one professional now and have GAD, some elements of OCD and possibly some personality traits.
Yesterday Fiona Kennedy wrote about DBT and the lengthy period of time that people have to wait before they get help in Ireland’s public mental healthcare system.
I have experienced nothing but frustration.
I initially saw a consultant psychiatrist, to whom I was explaining my situation, when he said, “Time’s up, we will carry on next week”, before he wrote a prescription for an anti-depressant without even giving me a diagnosis.
Surely, he should have managed his time, so that, on first consultation he could at least have given me a diagnosis or a plan. In addition, throughout the session, he kept calling me “squire” and when I spoke of an incident in work, he said, “why didn’t you use a load of expletives and tell them ‘where to go?'” I didn’t return. This was a private appointment.
Next up was an appointment on the public side. I saw a registrar and not a consultant. During the course of the appointment, he chewed gum and took a mobile phone call. He then left me alone for an age and said, “The consultant would normally see you, but he is run off his feet”.
What he didn’t know was I had Googled who I was supposed to see and I saw him chatting at the reception counter a few feet from where I was sitting. The registrar then came back with a script for another anti-depressant, albeit a different one to the one referred to above.
Another stand-out appointment (this time on the private side) was with a consultant who, upon entering his room, showed me his qualifications on the wall, the Lancet magazine on his desk and made sure I knew he didn’t take credit cards.
A short while after the appointment began, he said, “I have the answer, Largactil. We need to get your sleep right in the first place and this will solve that.”
He didn’t tell me that this medication is over 50 years old and has been long left behind because of the dreadful side-effects.
I saw a consultant psychiatrist privately who smelled of cigarettes and spoke in a very, very soothing voice unless there was a disagreement and he lost his temper. The same man threatened to sue a girl I know for a comment on Twitter where she recalled a bad experience and mentioned his name.
Within minutes of meeting me, he told me I had Borderline Personality Disorder and we would have to engage in long-term DBT sessions. The problem for me, apart from the cost, was that, unbeknownst to me, he put me on an anti-psychotic drug and increased the dosage 14-fold until I tapered down and got away. I have never lost the five stone I gained on those drugs. I still need to lose this weight and I am desperate to lose it.
I am under the care of a great guy now. He’s a fantastic human being and a fantastic doctor. I admire him, his intelligence, his calmness, and his view that “less is more” in terms of medication.
He also regularly congratulates me on my defeat of alcohol and gambling. Regretfully, I still have some demons to beat. He will assist me though and I have no want nor urge to do either.
I am seeing this consultant psychiatrist privately but it’s not necessary to pay on the day of an appointment and he will see people at times of crises.
The experiences I have had are so mixed. But I firmly believe less is more in regards to medication and I do firmly believe that DBT is the answer to personality disorders (I hate the word disorder and I hate the word disability!)
I now write in reference to Dual Diagnosis – something I have had experience with in the past – following on from the death of Caoilte O Broin.
It’s astonishing that a lot of mental health services and addiction treatment centres in Ireland don’t treat people suffering with depression, anxiety or psychosis if they are also drinking and I believe the tragic case of Caoilte O Broin needs to change things in Ireland in 2016.
It’s totally inconceivable that there wasn’t more done for Caoilte. Why, when he was in such distress, did he have to fight his battle against his demons on his own?
Bearing in mind Caoilte’s experiences were related to the public system, we are all left wondering how and why wasn’t more done?
Aidan blogs at The Truth Wins. His Twitter handle is @AidanTruthWins
Previously: An Avoidable Death
Caoilte’s Story Is Not Uncommon
Access To Mental Health Services
That is a horrific experience and especially the experience with the doctors. More often than not their only solution is to throw pills at people. One particular experience I remember was a young lad I knew last year who was in his late 20’s and he tagged himself in St James Hospital the Saturday of the August bank holiday weekend. That Monday he passed away through suicide. There is also the well publicised case of the lad who went to Roscommon genral hospital and they couldnt see him, when they present the A & E have not got one iota what to do unless they are trained in mental health. Last year the Economic Intelligence Unit rated Ireland as 14/30 in a list of countries which help people transition to leading a somewhat independent life . Aidan let me wish you all the best and I hope you find the help that you need and wish. <3
Thank you Fluffy Biscuits. Great user name by the way. I am saddened to hear of the cases you recall. I am in great hands for some time, thank you. The article has a focus on a young man, Mr Caoilte O’Broin. Caoilte had difficulty accessing services as he had dual diagnosis. Let’s keep him in our thoughts.
It sounds like you have finally found a good doctor, I would agree with his ‘less is more’ approach as it has been proven that talking therapies are as effective as medication for anxiety and depression in the short term and more effective long term (I can dig out the source if anyone is that interested or wants to challenge that statement).
I wish you a full recovery Aidan, which takes time but is possible, I thought I’d never get though the PTSD I had last year but thanks to counselling I’m over it.
Glad to hear you are well H :) Shared experiences are always good, helps others to relate :)
Thanks :-)
Hi H. I am delighted you are recovering significantly from PTSD. I am in great hands, yes. It is easier to take a pill, but it’s very much a challenge to retrain the brain, especially in today’s complex society. Thank you.
Thanks Aidan, keep at it, you’ll get there! I also had fairly bad depression 10 years ago which took me about two and a half years to get over so I know some things can take longer to get through. I took medication then, on what sounded like good advice but I wouldn’t take it again if the depression came back.
It’s a marathon not a sprint at a times!
I have been fortunate enough not to have had the depression. I put a lot of blame at alcohol companies, binge drinking as a youngster didn’t help. I must say I wouldn’t rule meds out . I don’t rule anything in or out now! I wish you well my friend.
Best wishes Aidan!
Thank you Rugby fan. Please bear in mind Caoilte O’Broin. In many ways, my primary reason to post.
“I am under the care of one professional now and have GAD, some elements of OCD and possibly some personality traits.”
I think that covers everyone. :)
All the best in your recovery.
Hi Anne,
You would be surprised how common anxiety is and how common elements of OCD and personality issues are.
GAD or Generalised Anxiety Disorder Is in many ways an unfair title, but I understand you.
OCD is so diverse in nature. Throw in some personality complications and again you would be surprised how normal your conditions are. In fact, what is normal?’
Be kind to yourself and thank you for being so kind as to post here.
The amount of Quack doctors in Ireland is shocking. We need an independent observer or quality control or something. They can ruin someones life, and they earn truck loads of money.
Shabby
Hi there,
Yes I mention bad experiences, but I cannot speak more highly of the empathy and intelligence of the individual I engage with.
I want my time on Broadsheet.ie to be time where Caoilte O’Broin is remembered. There’s a vigil on 11.2.16. Let’s hope for high attendance and his case changing MH services in Ireland. Let’s try and be optimistic!
Best of luck in your recovery.
Thanks Andyroo
You can follow my musings on
TheTruthWinsSite.WordPress.com
Twitter – @AidanTruthWins
I’ll also shortly be setting up a FaceBook Page for TheTruthWins and likewise Instagram.
Following will be other platforms such as SlideShare and Tumblr. The name won’t change – The Truth Wins
Seeing a regular competent ‘family’ GP that knows you well is so important , I found this out the hard way. It can make such a difference if something difficult to understand happens to your health.
Im ashamed to admit I was very cynical of GP’s in the past, but as they say there are no atheists in foxholes, if you get my meaning.
There are no atheists in Foxholes lol. I get it.
A primary care provider aka GP is vital, you’re absolutely right. To anyone reading this or Caoilte’s story and a little distressed, the advantage of a GP is, should you need to see one, it’s possible very quickly to do so.
My best too Aidan, thanks for sharing your story
Thanks Clampers Outside, again a great username. That is somr username with wheels.bhahahaha!
Remember my musings can be found
Blog – TheTruthWinsSite.WordPress.Com
Twitter – @AidanTruthWins
I pushed this article out on my Twitter and LinkedIn, the latter having 10,800 followers. I took a gamble on FaceBook with my 1,600 followers.
I am in the process of setting up a new FaceBook for The Truth Wins. Plus whilst I have an Instagram with 2,000 followers,I’m going live with a new Instagram for The Truth Wins.
Why thank you Aidan!
Fair play again too in getting the message out to so many :)
Appreciate it mate
None of us know what’s around the corner, so let’s all take care.
Aidan.
Jesus, just came across this on facebook –
https://www.facebook.com/grainne.osullivan.94/posts/10208606794590399
“*SPIKES HAVE BEEN PUT UP OUTSIDE GANDON HOUSE TODAY WHERE MY BROTHER SLEEPS ROUGH, THIS WAS THE ONLY PLACE HE FELT SAFE AND NOW THEY’VE TAKEN THIS AWAY FROM HIM TOO*
This is my brother Patrick settling down to sleep last night outside Gandon House. He is a rough sleeper, he is not addicted to drugs or alcohol but has mental health issues. He was evicted from the HSE last March after 22 years as a long stay patient with severe and enduring mental illness.
As they were planning to evict him his 22 year long diagnosis of schizophrenia was changed to personality disorder.
If this is the case then was he held unlawfully for all those years, against his will?
When he was evicted he was given a piece of paper to contact emergency accommodation but he wasn’t even registered as homeless and could not access a bed.
He lived with my family but it didn’t last due to his complex mental health needs. He is barred from many emergency hostels and as a result is sleeping on the streets.
Since his eviction he is a different person, he is in utter distress. He is institutionalised and extremely vulnerable and has attempted suicide. There has been a massive deterioration in him as he stopped taking his medication and is extremely paranoid and aggressive. His mental health has never been as bad.
He has a mild Intellectual Disability and has limited basic life skills. He went from 24/7 nursing care to the streets. A DCC social worker assessment carried out since his eviction reported he is unsuitable for supported community accommodation let alone independent living.
As a family we are heartbroken and sick with worry, he’s at massive risk and our fear is he will end up dead soon, we worry constantly about him and his whereabouts.
We have tried everything we can think of to help him and are getting nowhere. I made a complaint to the HSE and their response was that he is receiving the highest level of care in the community, so the picture above is the highest level of mental health care in the community according to them.
We have tried many times and recently again to get him admitted to have his mental health stabilised and back on medication. His GP said he was psychotic and wanted to admit him but his Psychiatrist changed the GP’s mind when he rushed down with my brothers file and said my brother was having withdrawals from alcohol. He was then turned away from Beaumont A&E and refused admission as when they contacted his psychiatrist he told them he has no mental illness, but the psychiatrist in Beaumont would not see him without three security guards present. He had a drug and alcohol test done in Beaumont which came back negative.
The Government closed the large institutions and did not open anything in the community to cater for the needs of people like my brother.
How many others are in a similar situation where they say they have no mental illness in order to discharge them and put them onto the streets. Many people and agencies in the community have told me there are many identical cases to my brothers. An investigation needs to be carried out.
He is suffering everyday and is unable to cope due to this neglect, if anything happens to him the HSE will be responsible, he has a right to treatment for his mental health and shouldn’t be punished for it.
Please share and raise awareness, contact me on 0858104897 if you are in or know anyone in a similar situation to my brother, thanks everyone.”
This is one ar*efestering poohole of a country sometimes..
My heart breaks every time I read or hear yet another one of these stories. How can the most vulnerable of us be allowed to slip through the cracks?
Keep them coming though. The more that is done to highlight the enormous discrepancies and failures in our health system, the better.
“How can the most vulnerable of us be allowed to slip through the cracks?”
Sometimes, as in the case Anne posted, it seems to me that some of our most vulnerable are pushed through the cracks. It’s heart breaking, but also very very angering.
That’s dreadful to hear Anne. I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to advise, as I’m not an expert in the matters. I do offer best wishes and prayers. I’m aware of the spikes in Amiens St at Gandon House. Do continue to talk to his care team and specialists and keep at it. We are all wishing you well. Mind yourself and your wellbeing too.
Aidan, next week the National Patient Forum is meeting in Dublin, look it up online to find out details. Run by HSE Quality Improvement Division and will be addressed by Tony O Brien. Would be a good outlet for yours and the stories of so many other patients frustrated with levels of service delivered by our mangled , fragmented and total politically corrupt health service.
That’s very interesting. I’ll have a word with Mr.Stephan Mc Mahon. He is very knowledgable given his role in patient advocacy. I’ll certainly look into this myself also.
I’ll also talk to Caoilte’s sister.
Thank you again, very helpful and kind.
Medics: bigger chancers than used-car salesmen. Congrats on your progress along a tough road, Aidan. Great to hear too about the good apples who care.
Hi Lilly,
I think it’s like any field. There are strong performers and those who can improve.
I’m in great hands.
Thanks for your good wishes. They are appreciated.
Sadly no one can help Caoilte now, but everyone can still help themselves and each other.
Highlighting inferior treatment like this and encouraging friends and family to look for better options is one of the best ways forward. It’s so important to question your medical practitioners – ask them questions, ask them to explain. If you’re making an appointment, say in advance that you have a lot to discuss with your GP – make sure they give you the time you deserve. Question measurements, make plans – ensure there are ways of determining both medically and personally how medication is or is not helping. Ways that you understand and are comfortable with.
We can be all gung ho about our beliefs around the medical system when we are fighting fit but when things go wrong fear and anxiety can reset us back to child like state. With that, sometimes we just want a doctor to tell us what to do – and this is where we need to remember to be pragmatic and stand on our own two feet – even in the face of adversity.
I commend your openness and courage to speak freely about your setbacks Aidan. I know your actions here will add to the debate and in it’s own way be a stimulus in raising further awareness that over time will lead to our country’s mental health service improving. I also know that for all the attention you get today and in the future, this is still very much your own private battle. One I hope you win.
Thanks a lot Dejevu,
A lot of good points there. A lot of good advice too.
I think it’s important to say I am under the care of someone who is absolutely excellent. I really should emphasise that. If or when, I need access or help, no trouble, so I don’t want the article to be entirely negative. I suppose I took an in initial relay of negative experiences as I wished to speak re Caoilte. There are some very very good professionals our there.
For Caoilte, RIP. Plus bear in mind the vigil for those in or near Dublin. 11.2.16 Govt Buildings.
I think you’ll find the Late Late Show 19.2 as Caoilte’s case and his dual duagnosis will be discussed
Good advice again in particular my friend re alerting a medic you’ll need some time, or words to that effect….. Good advice.
Thanks for writing here and take care
Aidan
Thanks for writing this. It’s very helpful for me. And best wishes in your recovery.
Thank you Jesst
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Really sorry to hear about all you’ve had to go through Aidan. Hope you’re doing better now and huge respect for highlighting this issue, so many people take their mental health for granted. The stress on the person affected and on their families is hard to imagine. Keep up the great work and wishing you continued success in all your endeavours. Best regards, Brian
Well done on your honesty Aidan, it can be difficult removing the mask. Make sure you take care of yourself.
I plan on being there on being there on February 11th. I survived the darkest days but many as not so fortunate, and it’s due to the lack of proper help from our health care system. A system which has lost any humanity or compassion for those most in need of it.
I applaud your honesty in writing about such a deeply personal subject. If as a society we could own up to our issues in the same way we could eliminate mental health stigmas more rapidly.