Broadsheet Trailer Park: Strictly Come Dancing (New Season)


WARNING: Embargoed for publication until: 02/09/2014 - Programme Name: Strictly Come Dancing - TX: 07/09/2014 - Episode: Generics (No. n/a) - Picture Shows: **STRICTLY NOT FOR PUBLICATION UNTIL 00:01HRS, TUESDAY 2ND SEPTEMBER, 2014** - (C) BBC - Photographer: Ray Burmiston


What you may need to know

1.Winter Is Coming, Strictly Is Back!”, the motto of House Stark from little known TV show Game of Thrones and how right they are to be excited.

2. Co-hosted by Tess Daly and Alice Cooper since Bruce Forsyth retired the show now enters it’s 14th season with Len Goodman returning as Head Judge.

3. The flagship show of the BBC’s weekend schedules, especially since X Factor has returned as action packed as the Angelus,  Strictly will hope to repeat last year’s ratings triumph of 12 million viewers.

4. Unusually for a celebrity TV show, Strictly actually contains celebrities so let’s take a look at who’ll be giving jazz hands on Saturday evenings….

Louise Redknapp: Beautiful hair, fabulous clothes, with a smile that lights up a room…. But enough about Jamie, his wife is on the show.

Laura Whitmore: A surname and a description. Pretty, young, blonde and famous outside Ireland, you just know Kathryn Thomas is knitting a voodoo doll as you read this.

Ed Balls: Infamous for being crap at Twitter. Imagine jumping in a time machine, going back 20 years and explaining that last sentence to a stranger. Then explaining your skinny jeans and man bun while you’re at it.

Will Young: Will Young is now Old, but then Paul Newman was older than Gary Oldman so it’s cool.

Anastacia: A welcome return to the spotlight for the Grand Duchess, who hasn’t let her murder by the Bolsheviks in 1918 stop her from dancing.

Judge Rinder
: A more feminine Judge Judy.

Lesley Joseph:
Russell Brand’s mum, Lesley found fame playing, well, Lesley Joseph really in Birds of a Feather. The most terrifying sight in leopardskin since Idi Amin.

The Verdict: Strictly makes Eurovision look like UFC and that’s why I love it. X Factor is a write off, RTÉ’s Autumn schedule contains more shite than Mary Poppin’s handbag so even if you don’t like it it’s really the best of a bad bunch. I’ll give it a holds up scorecard of 10.

Release date: Saturday on BBC at 8pm

15 thoughts on “Broadsheet Trailer Park: Strictly Come Dancing (New Season)

  1. rotide

    Louise Redknapp AND Laura Whitmore?

    Looks like I’ll be an expert in the American Smooth and the Paso Doble by the christmas

  2. Frilly Keane

    D’ya know Bertie
    tis no surprise that you’d be inta sparkly tops, clingy high wasted slacks and cuban heels

    finish it off for me
    does the mincing gait come naturally and what fake tan d’you recommend

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