Bertie Blenkinsop writes:
Feeling as unwanted as a “Garth Brooks – Croke Park 2014” cowboy hat? Career as dead and lifeless as Myleene Klass’s eyes? Does your agent keep you as well hidden as Ronan Keating’s second phone?
Why not join Celebrity Operation Transformation – A wonderful opportunity for you to simultaneously lose both kilos and dignity?
Like visitors to Bedlam in Victorian England, let’s rattle the cell bars and see who is inside…
Gerald Keane – Or to give him his full name Gerry Keane-to-tell-you-about-all-the great-work-I-do-for-charidee. He and the lovely Lisa Murphy have been engaged more times than Vodafone Customer Service, with Gerald apparently keeping the ring on a string like Top Cat’s coin…Hang on, He’s a solicitor? Strike all that, I LOVE THIS GUY!
Katherine Lynch – Katherine was a real trailblazer, finding humour and fun in the travelling community long before TV3 devoted 75% of their budget and airtime to them. A little known fact: the term Lynch mob stems from the angry gang who witnessed Katherine’s first television series.
Brenda Donohue: Gerry Ryan loved her. Cynical people said that once Gerry had passed her career would slide but she has confounded her critics to …. Nah.
Karl Spain: World renowned anagram experts have discovered that Karl Spain is actually an anagram of Karl’s Pain. Coincidence? You tell me.
Elaine Crowley: She seems cool enough and she’s not Martin King so it’s all good.
Bertie’s verdict: Car crash telly at its finest
Release Date: Tonight on RTÉ One at 9.30pm