Kean Buyers Only

at

drayton

keane

Includes Crying Thrones!

Anon writes:

Gerald Kean is selling his house. To view it you need to have photo Id and evidence you have 3 million in funds….

Drayton Manor, Three Mile Water, County Wicklow (Daft)

Gerald Kean’s manor down Wicklow way for €3.75m (Irish Times)

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68 thoughts on “Kean Buyers Only”

  2. Custo

    Why would you want to see it if you didn’t have the money to buy it?

    Also, why would you want to buy it. It looks like a poo hotel.

    1. Harry Molloy

      That’s the thing, it looks like it would be a worthless buy without sticking another mill in.

      I really dislike these that have massive rooms as a display of wealth. They’re just not nice to be in.

      Give me a house full of nooks and crannys, bookshelves and reading spots. And somewhere for hens.

    2. Daisy Chainsaw

      Restricting it to those with money means they won’t have to deal with “Povs” who want to have a gawk at how the 1% live… Tastelessly, by the looks of that picture.

  3. mildred st. meadowlark

    They have a throne room!

    I mean, that’s a house that takes itself too seriously. I’d be tempted.

    1. Kolmo

      How is this regarded as a reasonable family home by anyone sane?

      Crass, boor nouveau ostentation.

  4. Harry Molloy

    Saw it in the times. Amazing to think he decorated it himself, such simplicity and understated elegance.

  6. Brother Barnabas

    Why would anyone sell a house like that?
    And, second question, why would anyone buy a house like that?

  7. Peter Dempsey

    It’s a reasonable approach by Knight Frank – otherwise you’ll get loads of timewasters and possibly an element of lofty, snide neckbeards.

  8. Mourning Ireland

    The 3 million price tag includes Michael Flatleys engagement ring given to Lisa Murphy that’s down the back of the couch.

    We all know why he has to sell. Google him up.

  10. H

    I have no idea who Gerald Keane is but he seems to have notions above his station, that sort of money would only buy you a terraced house in central London

    1. The Old Boy

      In fairness H, you could justify almost any extravagance by comparing it with what you’d get for the money in central London.

  11. Starina

    gross. looks more like a hotel. whoever bought it could probs make their money back running a mini hotel rather than trying to make it habitable again.

  13. Percival

    It’s like the entire Celtic Tiger was loaded up and deposited in this awful kip.

    And full of terrible art. Every tasteless Z lister bought a Knuttel ‘painting’ in the noughties. He painted far too much, sold loads and now they’re worth a fraction of original prices.

    There’s probably one of those painted cows in there somewhere.

      1. bisted

        …this should be seized by the state and preserved…it might act as a cautionary tale…Twink could become curator…like a modern day Miss Havisham…

    1. Sheik Yahbouti

      I’d love to be able to live in such a lovely location. Mind you, Kean would have to take all his crap with him – no deal on the contents!

  17. This monkey's gone to heaven

    Nothing betrays the sneering frat-boy mentality of the users of this site like seeing the travails of other failures

  21. SomeChump

    Awful hodge podge looks like a load of different houses bodged together. If he was going to spend that much money he might have hired an architect. Also “Drayton Manor” is like something Alan Partridge would come up with.

    Though it’s good to finally find out who was buying all those Graham Knuttel paintings during the celtic tiger years.

  23. Ron

    I am so actually outraged by this I have pood out my internal organs at such speed the sonic boom melted my thermal underpants and broke windows in Japan.

  24. Kieran Nice Young Chap

    My my.

    Gerald Kean as proof that money can’t buy taste.

    Who’da thunk it? Who next, Bill Cullen?

    (hopefully)

          1. Sheik Yahbouti

            Millie, she has talent, beauty, intelligence, and a strong work ethnic. Some woman indeed.

  25. Jake38

    Congratulations to Mr Keane. He has managed to generate a uniformity of response in Broadsheet comments through the sheer enormity of his bad taste. Bravo, sir!

    1. Zena

      @ Shayna

      Don’t let Big Joe Joyce hear you calling Paddy Doherty the king of the Travellers or you’ll be in for it ;-}

  28. tim

    I think I’ve been in Germany too long. Just looked at the pic and thought “poopy single-pane windows”.

      1. Shayna

        Within the construction industry, certainly – “poopy” is a term that is in everyday use. “poopy, this and poopy that” resonates throughout the globe as a reference to builders from all trades to achieve higher standards. My uncle was a fiery foreman who told me stories how he used to rouse his men by telling them that they were a tad poopy and “drink up your tea by 10.15am”, or he he would show them the shadow of his pooping size 12 boot. I always thought about the poeticism and romantic imagery that my uncle must have bestowed upon his men by mere use of “poopy”.

  29. Murtles

    You’d need 15 dinner parties per week for at least 40 guests to justify the wedding style ballroom and the 52 seater cinema. Otherwise you’d be sitting on your own like Billy No Mates with the echo of your crying resounding in your ears.

  30. G.R.I.T.S.

    You only have to see the outside with the tacky “Drayton Manor” signage to know they went full Big Fat Gypsy Traveller

    Is the Donkey Garden Statue included

    Anyone

  31. Scundered

    In LA says it’s commonplace to show proof of funds when getting involved with a property deal, gets rid of the tyre kickers and nosey oul wans. Don’t really see the problem here if it’s a property that most people can’t afford.

    It is tacky as hell though.

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