From top: Taoiseach Enda Kenny and Minister for Arts Heather Humphreys at Cruinniú na Cásca on Custom House Quay , Dublin last week; Tony Groves.
The drugs are not working.
Someone tell Enda.
Tony Groves, who is not suggesting either the Taoiseach or Minister for Foreign affairs are on the Big O, writes:
Charlie Flanagan is my muse this week. Now there’s a sentence I never imagined typing. Nonetheless, it was our Minister for Foreign Affairs, that embedded the ear-worm that necessitated this piece.
While listening to a BBC interview of a Palestinian Authority Minister and an Israeli General about the history of terror, the conversation digressed to the Irish troubles, and from there to the current Minister for Foreign Affairs. Mr Flanagan was said to be “unhelpful” in his interventions with the Israeli and Palestinian parties.
In fact, the Palestinian Minister went so far as to say that he missed the old Minister Cohen (sic). I presume he meant Brian Cowen, whom he mentioned had sent him a message on LinkedIn recently. The mind boggles.
Then Charlie reentered my mind by telling Matt Cooper on Today FM, that the forthcoming British Election made Enda Kenny “essential to Ireland and our future”. Enda Kenny, essential? The mind truly boggles.
So it’s in this discombobulated mindset that I remembered another person who was considered “essential” to his country, but in reality was a hindrance.
On Tuesday June 6 1944, a man considered essential for the prosperity of his country got out of bed a little later that usual. He met with his Doctor, as scheduled and received his daily medication, Eukadol.
While all around him were losing their heads in panic, he jovially clapped them on the back and flashed a beaming smile. At lunch, while the news was going from bad to worse, he (a strict vegetarian) enjoyed “semolina dumpling soup, mushrooms in a ring of rice and a delicious apple strudel.
He then lectured his subordinates on elephants. Telling them how the “strongest animals in existence”, like him, abhorred meat. He added a lengthy bloody tale about his experience of a Polish abattoir, to reinforce his point.
All the while, unbeknownst to his browbeaten underlings, his Doctor was preparing his afternoon medication; a concoction made from the glands of the slaughtered animals. The chemical infused mind boggles.
When Enda Kenny went dancing at the Cruinniú last weekend, we saw a jovial, backslapping leader, who cannot see the many crises in front of his face. When he tweeted about feeling the pulse of the country, he must have had his morning medication, Eukadol.
You see, Eukadol is an opiate. It was given to Adolf Hitler to stop his headaches and terrifying temper tantrums. Hitler was an opium addict. He was also pumped up with animal hormones extracted from testicles and glands almost daily.
As the Allies landed on D Day, the Fuhrer was not putting a brave face on the disaster that was facing his country, he was not showing how his calming influence was essential to his country. Hitler was away in Cloud-Cuckoo-Land.
I’m not making false equivalences between Hitler and Enda. You can put Godwin’s Law back in your filing cabinet. I’m simply pointing out that the disaster that was World War II was made worse by subordinates attributing talents to a leader that clearly were not present. The Yes Men never called stop.
I’m saying we are repeating this trick, with a Taoiseach who needs to leave immediately. We need a government of action, unconcerned with beauty pageant leadership contests and not distracted by a lap of honour running leader. A Taoiseach who is already forgotten, just not gone. It’s time Fine Gael grew a pair.
Charlie Flanagan is lost in an opium mist if he believes the country is better served by a Lame Duck Enda Kenny. The public need to let the politicians know that the Emperor has no clothes. Enda Kenny is going to meet the EU Heads of State, on April 29. He should resign the next day.
Coincidentally, Adolf Hitler died on April 30. There’s a opium like, mind boggling symmetry to that, no?
Tony Groves is a full-time financial consultant and part-time commentator. With over 18 years experience in the financial industry and a keen interest in politics, history and “being ornery”, he has published one book and writes regularly at Trickstersworld