Points Break

at

Leaving cert pupils from Trinity comprehensive school, Ballymun, Dublin 9 last week

The Leaving Cert

Your Leaving Cert results will not be etched on your grave.
So, if you end up with more Es than a nineties rave,
Don’t worry, it will be okay
Probably.
Have you ever heard a eulogy that begins,
“That A he got in Geography was the making of him?”
The Leaving Cert is not nothing,
but it also isn’t everything.

And right now, if you don’t feel like a winner,
Remember, one day this too in time will pass,
like Donald Trump and fidget spinners.

Your success in life might hinge
on things you were not taught
Like dealing with your feelings
and sitting down to talk
(Because problems are like dogs
they will rip the shit out of your insides
if you don’t let them out for a walk.)

Build a life with someone
who will one day kiss your old, saggy arse,
and grade your farts
like an Olympic gymnastics judge
Like, “good one, that was a 4.6, my love.”
Do not accept anything less.
Bad love is a lot worse the than being by yourself.
DO NOT TEXT YOUR EX!
And only have sex with people
who make your crotch go, “Rawr”
And later in life, who know CPR.

Being good at school in Ireland
means you were good at learning by rote,
But being good at life is about
your family, your friends and your vote.
And you don’t need a degree to know
that just because your TD wears a nice suit
doesn’t mean he isn’t a total scrote.
If you care about people,
don’t vote for some eejit
just cos he fixed a hole in your road.

Your age, your weight, your salary,
the cost of your home
How many likes and shares you receive
on your silly Facebook poem
We let these numbers define us
And it feels like they matter a lot
So, it might seem like the end of the world right now,
But I promise you,
You are worth more than the points that you got.

Aidan Comerford

FIGHT!

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26 thoughts on “Points Break

  1. Rob_G

    When I saw the poem, I thought: ‘oh dear, one of Kevin Higgins efforts, or that Ramshorn republic guy’

    .. bu this was quite nice :)

    1. Lord Snowflakee

      it wasn’t really

      I mean you’re damning with faint praise by comparing him to those guys

  2. Nigel

    Between the LC’s manifest importance in a young person’s life, looming large at the end of their school years and providing the measure that will determine their route to further education, and the chorus of voices telling them that actually it’s not important at all and will soon forgotten, I wonder if young people would prefer older people to shut the hell up and let them get on with it since those older people certainly don’t seem terribly interested in making it fairer or less stressful, but only interested in telling them that the thing that’s most important to them right now isn’t actually important at all and that their educational achievements will be meaningless. Wonderfully demotivational, guys. I hope they completely ignore you.

  3. ivan

    cue a whole hape of LC kids wondering what in the blitherin’ feck a ‘Nineties rave’ is…

  4. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

    I am not worth more than the points I got. I did a superb leaving and it’s all been downhill since.

    FACT.

      1. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

        TWO Bs? Loser.

        My parents had such high hopes, God love them. They knew the inner lazy would win, though, deep down.

        1. Brother Barnabas

          And one was for Pass Maths.

          On the day the results came out, I got off with an Iberian Airlines hostess (phwoar… thoughts still drift back to this day). Remember walking out (Fibbers) thinking I was the coolest fupp in town – “got it up here, got it down there”. Youthful delusion.

          1. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

            You were likin’ the way you looked and lookin’ the way you liked.
            Ah, the joy of youth.

  5. jungleman

    Hate this cr@p. The leaving cert DOES matter.. If you want to be a professional, you need to do the work. If you want to be some idiotic social media influencer then fair enough, don’t even bother attending the exams. The only reason the LC doesn’t seem to matter when you are older is because you have either gone and passed more exams and forgotten the LC or you have done nothing of any educational merit since the LC.

    1. Janet, I ate my avatar

      nah it doesn’t
      my brother didn’t do great and he’s more successful than the other top swot straight A brother
      I did Art and now run a real estate business
      nothing is set in stone
      Life is great like that every day is a chance to turn it around !

      1. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

        Like everything in life, you get what you work for. I’m lazy, so have scraped through. My brother is smarter than I and loves working and he’s very successful.

      2. jungleman

        Statistically you will find the LC definitely matters. Fair play on all the success. Like I said, you have to do the work. But the LC is the best place to start. Firms take into consideration people’s LC results when recruiting many years after the person sat the exams. A strong LC allows you to get a stronger university education which in turn improves your employability. If you want to be successful in an area that requires a high level of education and you do a poor LC, you have to play catch-up.

    2. Janet, I ate my avatar

      work ethic matters
      personality matters
      integrity or lack of can matter
      but some people are crap at exams

      1. jungleman

        Like I said, if you want to be a professional you have to do the work. You cannot become a doctor, lawyer, accountant etc without getting exams.

        1. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

          To be fair, any ole eejit could become a solicitor back in the day I did it. Ok, you had to do OK in the Leaving but Law was p*ss easy and you didn’t have to do any exams to get into Blackhall, where the exams are open book.

          1. jungleman

            That’s not the case today! But like you said, even back in 1950 you had to do an ok LC ;-)

        2. Janet, I ate my avatar

          you’re right of course but it’s dangerous to think it’s the be all and end all
          Best of luck to all the poor sods

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