After The Cheating

at

Does it get better?

In July, ‘Broken-hearted, a long-term Broadsheet reader’ shared his experiences after discovering his boyfriend was cheating on him with at least five other men.

‘Broken-Hearted writes:

A month has passed since the supposed apocalypse and it really really does get better. Sitting down and writing an article lashing out was my way of verbalising what I really wanted to say and do in reality.

I read the comments and had some food for thought. I was told I was mad but what is the best way of getting impartial advice than getting a bunch of commentators on the net to do it!

I saw that commenter “AnonymousAlso” also had an issue with his fella and went through the gauntlet of emotions relating to his other half sending naked photos to a mutual friend. Get out of that relationship if he is doing that, its a slippery slope. I had that issue and it went downhill from there.

The last four weeks have been a rollercoaster to coin a cliché. The first thing that was crucial to moving on was to take back confidence in my own decision-making abilities, I leaned heavily on friends and they got me through the real tough patch.

Booking a trip to Birmingham to go on the piss and see family and friends took me out of that cesspit of self-pity I was wallowing in. The second thing I did was deal with the anger. I talked about it with close friends and then let it go…it was gradual but it serves no purpose other than burdening me . I forgave him for his transgressions and decided to move on with getting my life back on track.

I had a promotion I was going for and thanks to a colleague I pulled my head right out of my proverbial hole and did very well in the interview.

Out of the woodwork has come a mixture of new friends. Some of whom yes I am hooking up with but ’tis only human to want the body on body contact, it’s not about the sex or the intimacy or my ego its about the feeling of skin on skin, for me its a powerful driving force.

A number of other people came out in support including those who I only knew somewhat as acquaintances, the exorcising of my demons pushed me to gain new friends.

Its has been a journey of learning to be comfortable in my own company, making new friends and reconnecting with old and getting to understand my emotions better than I ever have. A level of awareness was attained about how rich I was (and this sounds gay) in love of friends and family.

Finally do I still love him? Well if I didn’t I would be a sociopathas one commentaor said. A part of me always will but that part of me is just a part of me.

My mind and body has a whole lot more to offer someone. I’m nowhere near ready for a relationship and won’t be for months to come but one thing is for certain this whole journey is going to be enjoyable.

Thank you.

Previously: Cheating Cheaters Cheat Us All

55 thoughts on “After The Cheating

  1. Spaghetti Hoop

    I missed the original post as I was on me hollibops.
    Glad to hear you’re getting over the break-up, lad.
    I admit I laughed at the whole nudey pics thing – sorry.
    I suppose it’s the new basis for having an affair.
    Writing is good to vent anger and upset.
    Stay positive.

  2. sǝɯǝɯʇɐpɐq

    The bit that I don’t get is the idea that you’re a sociopath if you don’t still love him. That’s crazy.
    I’ve been cheated on, but the absolute disgust I have for that lying sillypants overrides any other emotion. I also think she’s an idiot, but I always thought that.

    Maybe I’m a sociopath.

  3. mildred st. meadowlark

    Fair play to you. I sincerely hope the new journey you’ve set yourself on brings you all the joy and happiness that you wish for.

    Remember, focus on your happiness, what makes YOU happy, because that is what’s important.

  4. bertie blenkinsop

    4 weeks and you’re riding rings around yourself?
    You’re no Queen Victoria:)

    1. sǝɯǝɯʇɐpɐq

      No wonder you never get the ride.
      Adopt a more positive mindset. Self pity is not attractive.

      1. sǝɯǝɯʇɐpɐq

        Mind you, the term ‘riding rings’ was quite funny.
        I’m sure it was accidental, but still.

  5. Yep

    “Some of whom yes I am hooking up with but ’tis only human to want the body on body contact, it’s not about the sex or the intimacy or my ego its about the feeling of skin on skin”

    As long as they are on the same page. Don’t want to be treading on the heart of others as you mend your own. I’ve been guilty of it, so not being judgemental just saying be aware. Breaking the hearts of others is a close second to having your own trampled in my experience.

    1. Yep

      Don’t play games, Memes. Your diseased heart bursts with love as much as it leaks from the pulmonary.

    2. sǝɯǝɯʇɐpɐq

      Don’t pass your afflictions to me.
      I’m not actually stupid.
      I’m drunk, I’m stoned…but I’ll never be stupid unless I choose to be for comedy.

      You’re messing with the wrong kid. If I wasn’t on extacy I fight with you.

  6. Janet, I ate my avatar

    Good for you, glad you are feeling better
    heartbreak is too often underestimated

  7. sǝɯǝɯʇɐpɐq

    ‘Understanding English’.
    – That’s another thing I don’t look look for in potential lovers.

    My fetish is white underwear. Tell bertie.

  8. Boomskidaboom

    Great to hear you’re moving on and in a better place. I can now stop humming “what becomes of the Broken Hearted” as you have answered that question.

    1. sǝɯǝɯʇɐpɐq

      Write something better or shut up.

      I like stuff like this.
      It’s a reminder of the strength of human spirit.
      – If I was homophobic I’m sure I’d think differently but I’m normal.

          1. sǝɯǝɯʇɐpɐq

            PS.
            I’m nothing like the other wimps on Broadsheet. There should be a warning underneath the heading.
            Not my job.

  9. Hugh_Mungus

    “Out of the woodwork has come a mixture of new friends. Some of whom yes I am hooking up with but ’tis only human to want the body on body contact, it’s not about the sex or the intimacy or my ego its about the feeling of skin on skin, for me its a powerful driving force.”

    powerful, & really made me think

    1. sǝɯǝɯʇɐpɐq

      Eh Kenny…
      I like you and that’s why I’m pointing this out.

      That song is about masturbation.
      I got kicked in the ass by Jean-Jaques Burnel on me 18th birthday, so I should know.
      The Stranglers were a pub band at best, similar to the Boomtown Rats or Aslan, or Gina & The Cowboys…etc.

      1. scottser

        The rats were best listened to in full albums. Live they’re a bit ropey but their mutt large albums are works of art

  10. sǝɯǝɯʇɐpɐq

    Hello mods.
    Take me out of moderation and I’ll behave meself.
    Treat me like an bottomhole and I’ll poo on you.

    Your move.

    1. sǝɯǝɯʇɐpɐq

      I’m fupping sick of asking.
      I haven’t lost me temper for over 30yrs, but you’re fupping pushing it.
      You wouldn’t like me when I’m sober.

  11. Goosey Lucy

    I read this earlier and expected a heap of smart comments. I do think putting your heart out there to be trampled in by BS readership is an interesting way of coping, but I suppose not the most destructive.
    I myself am not long after a long-term relationship breakdown – entirely different circumstances but I suppose the end result is the same, so I can sympathise.
    What I would say is, I’m not at all judging, but sleeping around is probably not the best idea in the long run. You’ll feel better fleetingly, and then worse. As hard as it is, accept that you’ll have horrible days and it’s ok to have a crap day where you do nothing- indulge it- so long as you promise yourself that the next day there’s no feeling sorry for yourself.
    Meeting new people (friends) can be hard at the best of times, but even harder when you’ve to redefine yourself.
    But I’ve found it to be a time of great clarity too- I need only to consider myself, so my goals can come into focus again..you also find out who the decent people are in your life..and I’m much less concerned with worrying about what others think- life is too short not to be happy..
    In sum, it will get better..in fact, it already has- you are far better alone than being with someone who doesn’t grow you .

    1. Shayna

      Hey Goosey Lucy, me too. In the words of the Swedish chef from “The Muppets Take Manhatten” – ‘Peoples is people’.

    1. sǝɯǝɯʇɐpɐq

      (How did that get past the mod-mob? They obviously don’t know what they’re doing)

  12. sǝɯǝɯʇɐpɐq

    Seriously, if I told you how I got over being cheated on you wouldn’t believe me.

    It was a regular threesome and the combined ages of the two girls added up, plus 2 added, to the same age of the ladyparts who did the durty on me.
    She’s 15yrs younger than me. They were 18 and 19. They’re 22 and 23 now but we’re still in touch.

    I told you you wouldn’t believe it.
    Do the maths.

  13. sǝɯǝɯʇɐpɐq

    It’s all about perspective and attitude.
    The slowest way to find a potential partner is to look like you’re looking for one.
    – If you somehow find one under those circumstances, be prepared to be bullied and belittled from the beginning.

    Just relax.

    Life is short. Love is transient. Living is life, so get on with it.

    1. sǝɯǝɯʇɐpɐq

      On another unrelated note…
      Let me predict that Trump won’t be a president in September.

      I’m never wrong.

      1. Shayna

        @ up-side name guy – Hmm? Have you been to ‘The States’? They aren’t as free thinking as Europeans. They voted for George W for two terms?

        1. sǝɯǝɯʇɐpɐq

          I never wanted to go to ‘The States’
          The people are nice, but the country is corrupt.

          I watch Comedy Central so I should know.

  14. Clampers Outside!

    All my best broken-hearted.

    My tuppence… you appear to still hold a candle for that destructive partner. Don’t, simply tell yourself that feeling is not true, and when you tell your self that, picture an image of your ex being at his worst. Then tell yourself thats gone and you dont need that sh** in your life, no matter how good the fun times were.

    All my best to you, and congrats again for getting out

  15. HappyVibes

    as open/supportive as we would like the world to be, it’s odd that anyone should offload like this on a site had some beginnings in satire. Not homophobic, just think we best confide this kinda stuff privately. There is too much of a gratification lean when it’s like this.

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