Bake Off’s Julia kneads her bread ‘snail’
Can you ever get enough of oven ready sexual innuendo?
Episode three of the Great British Bake Off on Channel 4.
Reviewed by Frilly Keane, who writes:
The Season 8 Bread Week will be remembered for many things, and most of them nothing to do with Bread.
Bake Off always came with the ‘oo’er vicar’ innuendo; but we’ve gone well beyond that now. And it’s no longer Paul Hollywood and Prue Leith; its Prue’Paul. Thank you Sandi and Noel. If there is a doubter left among the Tent-Watchers, then they need their medications checked.
My moment of the night had nothing to do Prue interrogating the Hollywood on whether he flours the finger before inserting. It came when Julia admitted to not being able to make her snail without it looking “inappropriate”.
I dunno whether it was the Siberian demeanour combined with the Russian accent or the state the Bake-Off Tent leaves them in, but Christ a quality actor with a name that starts with Dame wouldn’t manage it. I’d say the camera and sound crew are still talking about it.
It fell apart for Steven in the Signature when his tea cakes flopped and spread like double DDs in a bad bikini, so nobody watching expected his Showstopper to take the Hollywood by such a surprise that he skitted with a swapping places thing; is that a GBBO first?
No handshakes last night that I remember (‘cept for Noel but that means nothing in Bake Off-life.) Besides I’m not that much of an anorak to go and check if the Hollywood is particularly stingy with the handshakes on Bread Week.
The Recipe of the week to try and follow up on is Kate’s Kraken Bread (the octopus in the Showstopper.)
[Interestingly, the signature was a good one for the home baker to give a go, but allow 24 hours, make the dough the night before or even 1st thing and let it prove away on its own for a good 5 hours. Enriched dough doesn’t need all your attention; just your respect.]
Over the last few episodes I mentioned how I would be watching how the Paul and Prue relationship proved. I’m now confident enough to commit to an opinion on it.
Since, and undeniably, it’s the Hollywood that Bake Off principally relies upon to be viable, his Judging partner has to work. And how the Producers got is so right first time by casting Prue must surely be worthy of the kind of award that Graham Norton presents.
Mary Berry was like his much older sister who doted upon him, you know the family type – a surprise baby 10 years after the last kinda thing, and the whole house has him destroyed.
Whereas Prue is like one of the lads. The mature student he knocked around with in College. I know Prue has a few racy books, a bit like my own as it happens, out there, so I fully expect the innuendo’ing to escalate into Showstopper stuff as we continue, so ye have been warned.
And we now know like her predecessor she likes a drink, Christ she hammered that Vodka like I would have.
Finally, no dispute about Star Baker, and while Julia is definitely a contender, Kate is still my ‘Dahk Hoarse’
Next week is Caramel week. And my prediction is you’ll have a new Star baker again. Yan might come good, she is a scientist and caramel concoctions and heat and timing etc would be just the stuff to put her in her element.
Previously: Taking The Biscuit
I have absolutely no idea why anyone would want to watch this.
(Actually, my nan might have liked it)
watch it yourself and find out
Yeah I know… must be missing something
then again, I always try to time my arrival home at just the moment the dinner’s ready. no interest in the process.
sur we all do that
but the grub in the tent now is not the sorta plate you and I will be sitting on our laps this evening
gets the juices flowing
stop it
I think you’d like it BB. Loads of fantastic baking-related innuendo. Loads.
and you’re always available to help him figure out what Finger Treatment works best
Ah that I am.
Now down to the nub of the issue. Should it be a firm prod or a persuasive fondle?
You decide.
Firm prod.
Gnnnnnnnh.
Gwan all the things in the vaginas!
Fair play
now we all know there is such a thing as too wet
when baking
so watch those juices lads
Gets the aul batter cascading alright.
And the loaf rising…
And semen ejaculating from the penis, wha’?
You’ve almost got it, Tony – just need to add a little bit of nuance
No finesse. But I admire your chutzpah.
As do the mods, it appears
It’s aimed at English minded people, they love this sort of stuff. Benny Hill, Dick Emery, Carry On movies, etc, etc.
no its not
Its about the Bakers
and what Paul Hollywood thinks of them
and their reactions to that
the other stuff is just a by product a very by product at that
and again, the most watched show in that slot again last night
I like it as it’s a very relaxing, quaint show, a little comedy thrown in too and you learn the odd lesson about baking. It’s an hour of pure TV enjoyment.
They did well by not doing anything with the format of the show. There must’ve been some temptation for C4 to make their mark on it but anything they did would’ve had a negative outcome, IMHO. They’ve even left the length of it the same, I noticed last night; 1 hour of BBC time to 1:15 of C4 time.
I LOVE this show! And Noel Fielding is a welcome addition.
I was very surprised by how much I like him, I have to say. An oddly good fit.
He’s terribly nice to the contestants.
Isn’t he? And all those patterned shirts.
I’d be even nicer.
As I promised ye he would be
Ah here
A fair few here kneading a good oul’ kneading ta’ themselves
Keep the icing in the nozzle lads
All that early spurting is only going ta’ruin ye’re final finishing off
that’s what I keep telling them, frillz
the pervy giddiness of youth.
Save it for the Showstopper!
Is there nothing to be said for a Technical Challenge?
It’s a true test of skill, is it not?
I’m after sticking a breadroll up my arse
Buttered?
Good grief.
I sincerely hope it wasn’t crusty.
Ah Brudder
Stuff coming out me nose now
Ya can have it
The t’internet
You win
F’sake
When Bodger clocks in to do the papers
He’s going ta’ have murder when he sees the state of this place
It’s like the chat pit of a Thursday evening.
Loving Tony’s ‘single entendres’ though! Absolute highlight of the thread.
+1
Keep up the good work Tony.
He’s reaching for a donut as we speak
Ya know I have to admit defeat here
And have given this too much thought to keep meself decent
I tried
I just can’t figure out a way to make a doughnut that vibrates
Tingles yeah
But it wouldn’t be edible enough for a second bite
It’s a job for the Ann Summers techs
This one