43 thoughts on “De Sunday Papers

  1. Shayna

    Colin Firth is now Italian. The Observer claims that he changed citizenship because of “Brexit”. To be fair, he should have gone Irish, or Swiss.

    Reply
    1. rotide

      Married to an italian, his kids have Italian citizenship, he lives in Italy on and off…

      Why on earth would he want Irish citizenship?

      Reply
          1. Brother Barnabas

            Haha

            (It might be for the best, Harry. Don’t tell Bertie I said it, but I have a feeling you and Mildred are made for one another)

  2. badatmemes

    Imelda…
    get off of my telly.
    You and your mates…
    You’re most of the reason why I’ll NEVER buy a TV or a TV licence.

    I saw you tonight by accident.
    Nice haircut.
    Nothing else…

    Reply
    1. martco

      I wonder what other actual &
      important news they’re hiding away in the innards of that comic (if they’ve even printed any at that) but I can’t bring myself to buy a copy to find out

      Reply
  3. Smith

    I was (vaguely) following The Mail’s Secret Pilot’s points until “my mother steals sachets of tea and coffee in hotels for me”.

    Reply
    1. Lilly

      Indeed. Has he never heard of the ziplock bag. That’s an Irish mammy for you… I hope she’s sending him job ads for Lufthansa.

      Reply
    1. badatmemes

      Excuse me for being upset.
      My parents and grandparents were from the Liberties.
      They didn’t need funny haircuts to be popular.

      Their legacy is NOT her’s.
      Her charisma is borrowed, 100% fake.

      …but that’s just MY opinion…
      I grew up.
      In the Liberties.
      John Street.
      Number 7.

      Then ‘The Commitments’ happened, and yeah…
      (I was in France at the time, so FO.)

      Reply
      1. bad@memes

        I was a sex toy for a wealthy lady.

        – It sounds great, but I had to cook lunch for her every day.
        The weather was too hot, and her sister wouldn’t leave me alone even though she had a boyfriend of her own. The TV was in French* and Kingston Town by UB40 was No. 1 for over 6 months.

        It was in Vichy, which is full of old codgers queuing up for colonic irrigation and bugger all else.
        I had a bright red Mohican haircut at the time and my French was very poor. Communication was difficult.

        Why do you ask?

        *One night Ken Loach’s ‘Kes’ was on, with French subtitles. That was good.

        Reply
        1. bad@memes

          Hold on… I checked…
          Kingston Town was only No. 1 for three weeks.
          It just irritated me so much that it felt like… it doesn’t matter.

          The song that REALLY irritated me wasn’t by UB40.
          It was this;
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YPeckUBzoM

          I saved up my tips and bought a Ryanair ticket back to London ASAP.
          (French women are meticulously stingy and horny so it took a while, but I was desperate. FFS, I bought a Ryanair ticket. You have to believe me…. I was desperate.)

          Reply
  4. badatmemes

    Carry on.
    I’m just being emotional.
    I grew up in the same place as Ms May, but too early…
    …she exploited it before I, eh…
    …before I…

    Y’know what? FAIR play to her.

    Hey, Imelda….
    D’ya remember the Kokonut on Meath Street.
    I used to spend hours just looking at the stuff in the window.
    That’s when I became a cynic.

    My mate Barry says you’re a deadly singer.
    He works in McDonalds.

    Reply
    1. badatmemes

      And another thing Imelda…
      My favourite pub is the mighty Thomas House.
      I know Gar and Kev.

      I thought I knew you, but nah…
      I think I don’t.

      Reply
      1. badatmemes

        Also… I’m a deadly singer meself, much better than you.
        I sing better songs too..
        The stuff you sing is atrocious stuff, rhymes with ‘kite’ and stop. Please.

        There you go….
        You’re probably alright in real life but you’re too RTÉ for my liking in your current form.

        Reply
  5. badatmemes

    Y’know when you do that long trek to the local 24hr petrol station because you ran out of ‘cigarette’ papers, and you arrive home afterwards with a bunch of flowers and a bottle of Lucozade?
    It’s a bit like that for me tonight.

    Then I remember, everything is temporar
    Everything is temporary. The future is the past tomorrow and yesterday is eh…
    I forget.

    Today is today.

    Reply
  6. badatmemes

    I have a new book out.
    It’s about saving the trees.
    It’s 1, 000+ pages long.
    Every page is blank.
    It’s ironic and only available in digital format.

    I’m not making money off of this, I swear.

    Reply
  7. Bertie Blenkinsop

    No, Sir, when a man is tired of Imelda, he is tired of life; for there is in Imelda all that life can afford.”
    — Samuel Johnson

    Reply

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