Maltesers’ Teasers.
For lovers of chocolate romance.
The Maltesers Team writes:
This weekend only, Saturday, February 10 and Sunday 11, you can buy personalised Teasers gift boxes in selected Dunnes Stores – just in time for Valentine’s Day.
You can visit the Valentines Personalisation Station in selected Dunnes Stores to get a Happy Valentines message on your Teasers gift box. The name of your choosing which will be printed onto red ribbon that will be tied around the box, so you don’t even need to wrap it!
To celebrate we are giving away a hamper full of Maltesers goodies to a Broadsheet reader.
To enter, just complete this rhyme:
‘Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
_____________________,
_____________________ .’
Lines MUST close at 5.15pm 10pm MIDNIGHT! Saturday Midday!
‘Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
My penis is tiny
So I wee with a tweezers.
Ah here
Change wee to self pleasure?
Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
“Et tu Bodger?”
– Julius Caesar.
Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers.
I find they taste best,
When plucked from the freezer.
‘Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
Just perfect for gifts,
From horny old geezers
________________________.
‘Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
Rhyming’s for hacks,
Give me some chocolate’
+1
‘Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
“gesundheit” I say,
To co-working sneezers.
This one is my favourite
‘Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
Inhalers are good,
for asthmatic wheezers.
Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
It’s difficult to find
A word that rhymes with Teasers
Having said that…
Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
But they’re tastier than flowers
And real crowd pleasers.
Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
But my sharing habits
Are like Ebenezers
Roses are red
But Paulus wins the Teasers
The ribbon reads bisted
But the prize is Ebenezers
Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
Stop shaving your unibrow,
Instead use tweezers.
‘Roses are red
And so are my Teasers
But the malted milk centre
Looks like the measles’
Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
Love is an abstract concept for sure,
hijacked by commercialism that nasty auld hoor,
for yet another day to keep you dossile enough,
under the illusion of romance just buying more stuff.
:-J
This one
Roses are red,
And love is a drag,
I stalked sweet Mil-dred,
Behold… ANKLE TAG.
You’re on fire today Bertie.
Roses are red, and
so are my Teasers. Screw your
rules I’ll write Haiku
Roses are Red
So are my Teasers
After eating them my front bum
Will flood like a geyser
be still my beating heart
roses are red and so are my teasers
Andy is an incorrigible geyser
HAHAHA….front bum!
My sis used to call hers that. (before kids)
The other sis called hers “her middle”.
Is the geyser or geezer?
Roses are red
So are my Teasers
I think I’m STI free
But that’s not what my wee says
Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
Are there any so desperate
as your Broadsheet readers?
You should have seen me back in the days of the “slow-set”.
did you use your tweezers?…
:-J
‘Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
It’s no suprise that she blushed,
It swelled up like bejeezus…
:-J
Roses are red
So are my Teasers
For someone you’d love
To get diabetes.
haha.. win.. lolz…
:-J
Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
My lover for you,
Is giving me seizures
*love, obviously
Do you mean the “classic” movie starring Leo Varadkar?
Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
Please let me win,
for I must appease her!
Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
I keep my women,
in bags in the freezers
Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
It rubs the lotion on its skin,
or else it gets the hose again
Roses are red,
And so are my teasers,
Sometimes you wear L’Air du Temps
But not today
‘Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
Valentine’s on your stead?
Now enjoy, at your leisure.’
‘Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
Valentine’s on your stead?
Munchies and Wheeler Dealers :)
‘Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
Valentine’s on your stead?
Take it easy on the reefers !
‘Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
Valentine’s on your stead?
No, actually. Any believers? :)
‘Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
My affection comes easy,
But I have to feed hers!’
I would have said erection.
FYI.
Jaysus Andy, has your weekend started early?
I’m sitting here with a fruity little 2016.
Ha! I wish! Though give me an hour and I’ll be sipping a tasty G&T!
Have a nice weekend, Lush!
Back at you my dear.
roses are red
and so are my teasers
so are abortions
says wee baby jesus
Nooooooo…
Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers.
It’s the 1st day of Lent,
I’ll save them for Easter.
Roses are red
And so are my Teasers,
They’ll melt in her lap,
And I’ll lick it to please her
Roses are red
And so are my Teasers,
Pull harder you fools!
We need better heavers
Roses are red
And so are my Teasers,
Each sweet is bugged
You can see the receivers
Roses are red
And so are my Teasers,
Give chocs to all dogs,
except golden retrievers.
Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
Mount me Denis O’Brien,
Said no Broadsheet readers…
Rose are red,
And so are my Teasers,
Get out of that bed,
You feckin lazy geezer!
roses are red
so are my teasers
perfect after wine
and a selection of cheeses
Roses are red
And so are my Teasers,
I really love d\ck
So it’s a “no thanks” for beavers.
roses are red
and so are his teasers
but that ahjaysis bloke
is a terrible sleazer
LOL ! Winner ! :)
Roses are red
And so are my Teasers,
I quite enjoy subs,
Real people-pleasers.
Roses are red
And so are my Teasers,
At weekends me and he,
We turn into Creatures.
Roses are red
And so are my Teasers,
I fight over Brexit
But only with Leavers.
Roses are red
And so are my Teasers,
My moves, rhythm and thrusts,
Are Pure Lady Pleasers
I have no idea what’s gotten into everyone today, but I’m crying with laughter.
thank crunchy it’s Friday!
Roses are red
And so are my Teasers
Burn marks are blue
When I get hit with tasers.
Damn kinky Nigel ! :)
Roses are red
And so are my Teasers
We’re booked in with Elvis
Let’s meet him in Caesar’s
Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
Ginger Baker ain’t the best drummer,
Patrick Wilson from Weezer is
Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
I see Ginger’s triumph,
Was quite a displeaser.
I’m not bitter[1]…. but would you ever stop entering these competitions! It’s not fair on us mere mortals…
You win once again! **shakes fist** damn you bertie!!
;-)
[1] well, maybe a little.
You deserve a special prize for getting Weezer in in fairness
“Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
Ginger Baker is now the best drummer,
Keith Moon was, but he’s pushing up daisies”
Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
I don’t wanna be alone,
I don’t wanna be alone.
Roses are red
and so are my Teasers,
as red as the blood of Our Lord
who died to redeem the sins of all believers.
Amen.
Roses are red
And so are my Teasers,
You’re hung like a horse,
But I’m a wide end receiver.
Oh my…
Indeed, my eyes are watering at the thought.
Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
Something something,
Something, eh pleasers.
Roses are red
and so are my Teasers
If I don’t get some
I’ll settle for freesias.
Alternatively, (for Janet)
Roses are red
and so are my Teasers
Our love was quite sudden
And they cried ‘Quelle surprise!’
Also for Janet….
Roses are red,
Your love gave us smiles,
But now from Dundalk,
You must stay twenty miles.
aw thanks guys
I always wanted a chunky ankle bracelet
Roses are Red
And so are my teasers
Gimme some chocolate
Coz I am a geezer
And I’ll nut ya
‘Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
Salmonella infused,
a nasty disease, dear.’
Roses are Red,
So are my teasers,
Nestlé steals water,
And makes our human rights weaker!
Roses are Red,
So are my teasers,
BDS is winning,
Boycott the land stealers.
‘Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
Valentine’s unleash some joy,
On my mound of venus.’
(All I could think of, apologies)
Roses are red
so are my tweezers
im poo at poetry
but still better than john moynes
Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
Who’ll win the chocolates?
My bet is ajayzis!
Roses are red,
And so are my teasers,
Well actually they’re brown,
Best keep that between us.
Roses are red
And so are my Teasers
I forgot to book the restaurant again
Please help me to appease her.
‘Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
put some string ’round the bag
and let’s have safe-sex too.’
Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
Love poems are fed
By day-dream believers.
Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
She first sent me aflutter,
By the Palace of Caesar.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Jaysuz I’d love
The ride offa you
… and so, my red roses are teasers.
:-J
Blue is a rose,
Violet is red,
All this bad rimmin’ is wrecking my head,
It must be magical chocolate and not just more crap
meanwhile the planet is just a pale blue dot,
You want safe-stereo airbrushed mainstream anti-rap,
Unfortunately for you, Kool Keith is not…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQX5_zSWKws
:-J
my word
that was an ear opener
I
‘Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
In the age of equality,
I am assured they’re good for gals and geezers’
II
‘Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
My fiancé repeated the leaving cert twice,
But I love her and not high achievers’
III
‘Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
Promise won’t eat them until after Lent,
I’ll leave that to heathen unbelievers’
IV
‘Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
I’ve love a few packets,
to make up for the lack of beavers’
(Extract from page.94 of “Arts Council application for taxpayer money for old rope and application for tax exemption”)
Roses are red
And so are my Teasers
I should shout out my safeword.,
But sure, anything to please her.