Maltesers’ Teasers.

For lovers of chocolate romance.

The Maltesers Team writes:

This weekend only, Saturday, February 10 and Sunday 11, you can buy personalised Teasers gift boxes in selected Dunnes Stores – just in time for Valentine’s Day.

You can visit the Valentines Personalisation Station in selected Dunnes Stores to get a Happy Valentines message on your Teasers gift box. The name of your choosing which will be printed onto red ribbon that will be tied around the box, so you don’t even need to wrap it!

To celebrate we are giving away a hamper full of Maltesers goodies to a Broadsheet reader.

To enter, just complete this rhyme:

‘Roses are red,

And so are my Teasers,

_____________________,

_____________________ .’

Lines MUST close at 5.15pm 10pm MIDNIGHT! Saturday Midday!

Maltesers ireland (Facebook)

101 thoughts on “Beats Roses

  1. Pip

    ‘Roses are red,

    And so are my Teasers,

    Just perfect for gifts,

    From horny old geezers

    ________________________.

  2. Daisy Chainsaw

    Roses are red,
    And so are my Teasers,
    It’s difficult to find
    A word that rhymes with Teasers

    Having said that…

    Roses are red,
    And so are my Teasers,
    But they’re tastier than flowers
    And real crowd pleasers.

  3. :-Joe

    Roses are red,
    And so are my Teasers,

    Love is an abstract concept for sure,
    hijacked by commercialism that nasty auld hoor,
    for yet another day to keep you dossile enough,
    under the illusion of romance just buying more stuff.

    :-J

  4. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

    Roses are Red
    So are my Teasers
    After eating them my front bum
    Will flood like a geyser

    1. Boj

      HAHAHA….front bum!
      My sis used to call hers that. (before kids)
      The other sis called hers “her middle”.

  5. :-Joe

    ‘Roses are red,
    And so are my Teasers,
    It’s no suprise that she blushed,
    It swelled up like bejeezus…

    :-J

    1. cian

      Roses are red,
      And so are my Teasers,
      It rubs the lotion on its skin,
      or else it gets the hose again

        1. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

          Ha! I wish! Though give me an hour and I’ll be sipping a tasty G&T!
          Have a nice weekend, Lush!

  6. Boj

    Roses are red,
    And so are my Teasers.
    It’s the 1st day of Lent,
    I’ll save them for Easter.

    Roses are red
    And so are my Teasers,
    They’ll melt in her lap,
    And I’ll lick it to please her

    Roses are red
    And so are my Teasers,
    Pull harder you fools!
    We need better heavers

    Roses are red
    And so are my Teasers,
    Each sweet is bugged
    You can see the receivers

    Roses are red
    And so are my Teasers,
    Give chocs to all dogs,
    except golden retrievers.

  7. ahjayzis

    Roses are red
    And so are my Teasers,
    I really love d\ck
    So it’s a “no thanks” for beavers.

  8. cian

    Roses are red,
    And so are my Teasers,
    Ginger Baker ain’t the best drummer,
    Patrick Wilson from Weezer is

    1. bertie blenkinsop

      Roses are red,
      And so are my Teasers,
      I see Ginger’s triumph,
      Was quite a displeaser.

      1. cian

        I’m not bitter[1]…. but would you ever stop entering these competitions! It’s not fair on us mere mortals…

        You win once again! **shakes fist** damn you bertie!!

        ;-)

        [1] well, maybe a little.

    2. Dublin Bus Smoker

      “Roses are red,
      And so are my Teasers,
      Ginger Baker is now the best drummer,
      Keith Moon was, but he’s pushing up daisies”

  9. Gorev Mahagut

    Roses are red
    and so are my Teasers,
    as red as the blood of Our Lord
    who died to redeem the sins of all believers.
    Amen.

  10. some old queen

    Roses are red
    And so are my Teasers,
    You’re hung like a horse,
    But I’m a wide end receiver.

  11. mildred st. meadowlark

    Roses are red
    and so are my Teasers
    If I don’t get some
    I’ll settle for freesias.

  12. mildred st. meadowlark

    Alternatively, (for Janet)

    Roses are red
    and so are my Teasers
    Our love was quite sudden
    And they cried ‘Quelle surprise!’

    1. Bertie Blenkinsop

      Also for Janet….

      Roses are red,
      Your love gave us smiles,
      But now from Dundalk,
      You must stay twenty miles.

  13. The Real Shrimply Pibbles

    Roses are Red
    And so are my teasers
    Gimme some chocolate
    Coz I am a geezer
    And I’ll nut ya

  14. Fiona

    ‘Roses are red,

    And so are my Teasers,

    Valentine’s unleash some joy,

    On my mound of venus.’

    (All I could think of, apologies)

  15. Dylad

    ‘Roses are red,

    And so are my Teasers,

    put some string ’round the bag

    and let’s have safe-sex too.’

  16. Dublin Bus Smoker

    I
    ‘Roses are red,
    And so are my Teasers,
    In the age of equality,
    I am assured they’re good for gals and geezers’

    II

    ‘Roses are red,
    And so are my Teasers,
    My fiancé repeated the leaving cert twice,
    But I love her and not high achievers’
    III

    ‘Roses are red,
    And so are my Teasers,
    Promise won’t eat them until after Lent,
    I’ll leave that to heathen unbelievers’

    IV

    ‘Roses are red,
    And so are my Teasers,
    I’ve love a few packets,
    to make up for the lack of beavers’

    (Extract from page.94 of “Arts Council application for taxpayer money for old rope and application for tax exemption”)

Comments are closed.