Free Teasers? Yes, Pleasers

Food of the love gods.

Last week, we offered a Maltesers Teasers hamper to a Broadsheet reader who could successfully complete (to the satisfaction of the judges) this romantic rhyme:

‘Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
____________________,
____________________.

You answered in your dozens.

But there could be only one winner.

In reverse order then…

Roses are red
And so are my Teasers,
At weekends me and he,
We turn into Creatures.

ahjayzis

Roses are red
So are my Teasers
I think I’m STI free
But that’s not what my wee says

missred

Roses are red
And so are my Teasers
I should shout out my safeword.,
But sure, anything to please her.

f lawless

Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
Love is an abstract concept for sure,
hijacked by commercialism that nasty auld hoor,
for yet another day to keep you docile enough,
under the illusion of romance just buying more stuff.

Joe

Roses are red
So are my Teasers
For someone you’d love
To get diabetes.

Nigel

Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
My fiancé repeated the leaving cert twice,
But I love her and not high achievers

Dublin Bus Smoker

Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
Mount me Denis O’Brien,
Said no Broadsheet readers…

Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers,
I don’t wanna be alone,
I don’t wanna be alone.

Hallström

Winner…

Roses are red,
And so are my Teasers.
It’s the 1st day of Lent,
I’ll save them for Easter.

Boj

Thanks all.

Maltesers Ireland (Facebook)

Previously: Beats Roses

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15 thoughts on “Free Teasers? Yes, Pleasers”

Hank February 14, 2018 at 3:51 pm

Call the cops, Missred was robbed..

Murtles February 14, 2018 at 3:58 pm

+ 1 pair of handcuffs
missred February 14, 2018 at 4:03 pm

You’re too kind *blushes*. I’d ask you two to be my Valentines but, sure my poem is a warning, you never know what you could catch….
1. Andyourpointiswhatexactly? February 14, 2018 at 4:04 pm
  
  You’d be like yer man in Lovesick. Have you seen it? Great show on Netflix.
  1. missred February 14, 2018 at 4:07 pm
    
    It looks like High Fidelity for those who forget to wrap it!
    1. Andyourpointiswhatexactly? February 14, 2018 at 4:29 pm
      
      Ha! You should write reviews.

bisted February 14, 2018 at 4:34 pm

…ah here…what happened Paulus…anybody who comes up with Ebenezers as a rhyme for Teasers deserves special mention…

Paulus February 14, 2018 at 11:06 pm

Thanks Bisted, …you’re right of course.
And at least, ahem, it rhymes!

ahjayzis February 14, 2018 at 6:00 pm

Fupping TYPICAL pro-church, theocratic BIAS from BLOODY Godsheet!11111!!1one!

Bertie blenkinsop February 14, 2018 at 7:43 pm

Who judged this one, Ronan Mullen?

Rotten February 14, 2018 at 11:23 pm

Roses are read
and so are my Teasers;
so let’s go to bed
yez filthy aul greasers.

Dublin Bus Smoker February 15, 2018 at 5:49 am

This result is an ecumenical matter.

Scoops4all February 15, 2018 at 8:15 am

I wouldn’t suggest for a minute that I should have won as my poem was durt; I do however feel I have raised a pertinent point in that ‘teasers are in fact brown and not red as the opening couplet suggests. Surely this warrants some sort of special sleuth category award?