Save Yourselves

at

You must go on without us.

*nibbles tomato*

This evening.

Unspecified supermarket, Dublin.

Thanks Dynamic Events

Warning of ‘exceptional cold weather event’ (RTÉ)

Meanwhile…

Escalating.

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66 thoughts on “Save Yourselves”

      1. DJtrump

        What did you do in school?
        Was it behind the bicycle-sheds?

        So did I.

        I think me and you might have met up at one time.
        I was the guy with a beard…
        #donttellbertie

      1. mildred st. meadowlark

        It’s a Derek Mahon poem, called Antarctica.

        ‘I am just going outside and may be some time.’
        The others nod, pretending not to know.
        At the heart of the ridiculous, the sublime.
        He leaves them reading and begins to climb,
        Goading his ghost into the howling snow;
        He is just going outside and may be some time.
        The tent recedes beneath its crust of rime
        And frostbite is replaced by vertigo:
        At the heart of the ridiculous, the sublime.
        Need we consider it some sort of crime,
        This numb self-sacrifice of the weakest? No,
        He is just going outside and may be some time
        In fact, for ever. Solitary enzyme,
        Though the night yield no glimmer there will glow,
        At the heart of the ridiculous, the sublime.
        He takes leave of the earthly pantomime
        Quietly, knowing it is time to go.
        ‘I am just going outside and may be some time.’
        At the heart of the ridiculous, the sublime.

        1. Bertie Blenkinsop

          I just knew it as an Oates quote, I didn’t realise there was a poem, every day’s a school day:)

        4. Nigel

          I’d forgotten that poem, and it is brilliant. This is another, unrelated one I’d forgotten and came across today that also gave me goosebumps:

          “Naming of Parts” by Henry Reed

          Today we have naming of parts. Yesterday,
          We had daily cleaning. And tomorrow morning,
          We shall have what to do after firing. But to-day,
          Today we have naming of parts. Japonica.
          Glistens like coral in all of the neighbouring gardens,
          And today we have naming of parts.

          This is the lower sling swivel. And this
          Is the upper sling swivel, whose use you will see,
          When you are given your slings. And this is the piling swivel,
          Which in your case you have not got. The branches
          Hold in the gardens their silent, eloquent gestures,
          Which in our case we have not got.

          This is the safety-catch, which is always released
          With an easy flick of the thumb. And please do not let me
          See anyone using his finger. You can do it quite easy
          If you have any strength in your thumb. The blossoms
          Are fragile and motionless, never letting anyone see
          Any of them using their finger.

          And this you can see is the bolt. The purpose of this
          Is to open the breech, as you see. We can slide it
          Rapidly backwards and forwards: we call this
          Easing the spring. And rapidly backwards and forwards
          The early bees are assaulting and fumbling the flowers:
          They call it easing the Spring.

          They call it easing the Spring: it is perfectly easy
          If you have any strength in your thumb: like the bolt,
          And the breech, and the cocking-piece, and the point of balance,
          Which in our case we have not got; and the almond-blossom
          Silent in all of the gardens and the bees going backwards and forwards,
          For today we have naming of parts.

          3. anne

            I will arise & go now..& go to Innisfree, & a tall cabin built there of clay & wattles made..for I hear it in the deep hearts core, something something etc. That’s all i could remember.

          4. Sheik Yahbouti

            nine bean rows will I have there. a hive for the honeybee, and live all alone in the bee loud glade

          6. Sheik Yahbouti

            And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow….etc. It’s The Lake Isle of Innis Free by W.B.Yeats, Anne, a great favourite

          11. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

            “The pig if I am not mistaken
            Supplies us sausage, ham and bacon
            Let others say its heart is big
            I call it stupid of the pig.”

            Also

            A bit of talcum is always walcum.

          12. Janet, I ate my Avatar

            he wiped his arse with a bit of brown paper
            the paper was thin
            and his finger went in
            and that was the end of “….” the traitor

    3. Snippity

      We’re all right. We have our lentils, we have our rice, we have our onions and carrots and celery – and we have our Oates.

  4. Nigel

    Oh God how will we survive on a meager diet of onions, tomatoes, cucumbers, assorted greens and O’Hanlon Herbs?

    *emerges from snowbound refuge miraculously cured of rickets and scurvy*

    1. Janet, I ate my Avatar

      ahahahah very funnily put Nigel
      I was going to make a smart pants comment about Irish people panicking enough to buy veg but that you beat me to it and with panache

  5. scottser

    We’ve already decided who we’re going to eat if we have to resort to cannibalism in the office. Joe will be tasty but we’ll have to shave him well first

    1. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

      You’re going to eat him from the outside in? That’s a very bad plan. You guys will never survive.

  10. Sheik Yahbouti

    Oh Jaysus. I can’t even remember the ‘Big Freeze’ of 1982 although my advanced years tell me I survived it. When did people become such jessies?

  12. Matt Lucozade: The Only Reader of the Village

    Just another day in the Blanch.

    (Calls security about those cameras)

  15. Papi

    Ha Ha! I live in Norway!! In the shops, they fill the (unplugged) indoor freezers with the fruit and put the pizzas outside. My tyres have spikes in them!! Ha Ha!
    (I will not be laughing when it’s still minus 18 in May)
    But for now, HAHAHAHAHA!!!

        1. Papi

          Norway (fun fact) is the highest consumer of pizza per capita in the world, also, coffee. And, for what it’s worth, the frozen pizza here is deplorably bad. I mean throw it in the bin, rather starve bad.

          3. Papi

            Not far wrong. Popular does not necessarily mean tasty. Pølser (hot dogs) are sold in every shop and garage, for breakfast lunch and dinner. I’m struggling to think of something that stands out that is specifically Norwegian.

  16. Murtles

    Friday 2nd March will be known as Ragin’ Friday where everyone has to dump their short life bread as it’s gone mouldy and the light dusting of snow was nothing really to panic about. Emma’s around Ireland will be blamed in some way for having the same name. My sister Ophelia isn’t right since last year.

    1. Janet, I ate my Avatar

      jump in with a nice bread pudding before it gets to that
      Then Emma can be remembered as a cosy comfy sticky bit of puddin

      2. Nigel

        Or make sopa castillana a lovely soup with old bread it’s gorgeous on a cold day. But also bread pudding.

      3. Neilo

        *Makes mental note to defrost panettone b’n’b pudding tonight* I’ll be fat but fed during the imminent Snowpocalypse.

  17. George

    The only problem getting food will be caused by people who have bought food they don’t need. They are creating the problem they are worried about.

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