Renewable Energy: Cora Sherlock’s Excellent Suggestion

We must stop giving it away for nothing
– our greatest natural resource –
the Department of Finance estimates
Tallaght Hospital could heat itself
entirely on foetuses properly burnt
in one of those state of the art
energy efficient furnaces that are
all the rage in Sweden.

Within the lifetime of this government
every hospital in the country could be fuelled
by the unwanted contents of visiting wombs.
The minority of cranks aside,
the average foetus would be delighted
to make this small contribution towards
society’s continued warmth.

And when the ban on contraceptive devices
is re-introduced; every last diaphragm,
IUD, cock-ring, and bit of rubber
ribbed for your pleasure incinerated
in a field outside Ballinspittle,
after a blessing by Mother Teresa,
(specially flown in from
the black beyond)
and the conception rate soars
back towards
the traditional twelve
pregnancies per lifetime, two thirds,
we estimate, resulting in terminations,
we can start talking
about the export market.

Economists say the uteruses
of the greater Dublin area alone
could light the living rooms
of a medium sized British city,
such as Bradford.

Education is key.
To get the lady parts of the country
conceiving as they’ll have to,
every pubescent girl,
on her fifteenth birthday,
will be shown her way around
the first twenty pages of the Kama Sutra
by a fully qualified curate
under the age of seventy.

This policy’s success
will abolish talk of deficits
and oil prices. Instead,
we’ll debate furiously
whether to blow our vast surplus
on a few thousand more
unemployed tin whistle players
with the hint of an English accent,
or free nose jobs and tummy tucks
for the wives of the wealthy—the biggest
plastic surgery project in world history
since NASA’s unsuccessful attempt
to build another Joan Rivers.

Kevin Higgins

Rollingnews

79 thoughts on “Renewable Energy

    1. Papi

      It needs a disclaimer though, there are a few out there who’ll believe it. Sort of like that bible yoke.

      Reply
  1. newsjustin

    This is a remarkably tasteless ditty. It is a fact that the remains of human foetuses are, in the UK, disposed of in hospital incinerators that produce heat for the nearby buildings.

    For people to, on the one hand, complain about images of living foetuses being used in the campaigning, on the basis that they are upsetting to people who have gone through traumatic pregnancies and pregnancy loss, and be ok with this, a poem about burning miscarried and aborted foetuses, is really quite something.

    Reply
          1. Sentient Won

            ‘Fraid not. Neither the Irish Time article you link to – nor the report it is based on – establish that there was deliberate action to “dump dead babies in septic tanks”.

            The most they acknowledge is a commingling of material between an underground chamber and an adjoining sewage tank.

          2. Janet, I ate my Avatar

            you see
            any credibility of any other post you may have made …shaky though it was is now totally discredited. Well done.

          3. Sentient Won

            “so the babies crawled there themselves?”

            Or the soil moved due to water seepage, vibration, etc.

            Which do you think is more likely?

          4. Papi

            The soil moved. That is your excuse? The level of stupid in that comment is astonishing. And I’m not just saying that to deny it, I have professional knowledge of soil movement and deposition, over time and in specific one time events. So, no, that is not how babies ended up in a septic tank. People like you is why babies ended up in a septic tank.

    1. Cian

      Yes it is tasteless. But so is death. What do you think happens in Ireland when women miscarry?

      Nobody know how many miscarriages happen – as many happen before the woman knows she is pregnant – but of ‘know’ pregnancies miscarriages happen anywhere from 10-20% (depending on sources);

      This means that in Ireland today somewhere between 22 and 39 woman will have a miscarriage [1]. What happens to these human foetuses? Do you care about them?

      [1] based on 2016 CSO figures
      [2] for context, probably 82 people will die today.

      Reply
      1. newsjustin

        Yes I care about them. I care about them enough not to publish a satirical poem about their incineration. It’s a pretty low bar, as Peter Boylan would say.

        Reply
        1. Cian

          But they won’t be incinerated – the majority of the will be flushed down the loo, or wrapped in toilet paper and put into a bin. Only some of the ones in hospital would be incinerated. So why should an aborted foetus be treated differently than a miscarried foetus?

          Cora Sherlock is a #%@★❢

          Reply
          1. newsjustin

            “So why should an aborted foetus be treated differently than a miscarried foetus?”

            I don’t believe it should be.

        2. Martco

          or
          “lookit I know it’s tough being a 12 y/o these days my child & carrying your Granada’s incest baby is complex n’all but you’re having that baby whether you like it or not”
          as the Bishop might say

          Reply
    2. kellma

      Yes, it absolutely didn’t sit well with me either but of course Mademoiselle Sherlock’s aptitude for abusing context also doesn’t sit well with me – not saying this as a justification for the poem btw. I assume that they don’t just incinerate the remains of terminations but also other surgical “waste”. I find it also shocking that Amanda Mellet had her poor baby’s remains delivered to her by post. This referendum is about so much more than abortion. Abortion is here and it won’t go anywhere 8th amendment or not. What this is about is not ignoring the elephant in the room and providing adequate health care, both physical and mental.

      Reply
  2. missred

    There was a programme a couple of years ago presented by Amanda Holden (she had a stillborn baby) about remains of miscarriages being thrown away in hospitals and into the incinerator. Absolutely no mention of abortions, but guess what was on the cover of Alive shortly after? That’s right, a mention of the same show but claims of abortive remains in the incinerator being thrown in. Of course they would say that..

    Reply
  3. Martco

    I can only be sure of two things having read this –

    1. If Kevin’s ideas were to prove to be successful Fine Gael would want to privatise it & Denis O’Brien would be one of the beneficiaries

    2. I’m voting YES

    Reply
    1. Well

      You just know Declan Ganley would be bidding for the contract in a hypocritical heartbeat if it came through too

      Reply
  4. Daisy Chainsaw

    What does she want done with them?

    Where does she think gallbladders, appendixes (appendices?), amputated limbs and other bodily bits go after surgery? Not to mention all the fluid soaked gauze? Medical waste needs to be disposed of and the safest, most hygenic way to do that is to burn it.

    Reply
    1. Nigel

      In Indiana, then-Governer-now-US-VP Mike Pence tried to introduce a law that forced mothers to pay for funerals of fetuses after abortions or miscarriages. It was blocked by a judge last year fortunately.

      Reply
    1. missred

      For the moment, it will be the prescribed mifepristone and misoprostol pills that will take care of that. Haven’t heard enough about the surgical ones, which I presume there will be trained specialists.

      Reply
      1. newsjustin

        40% of abortions under 12 weeks in the UK require some surgical intervention. The notion that pills will take care of the vast majority of abortions is a fantasy.

        Reply
        1. Cian

          Which is scary if Irish women are taking these pills without medical supervision. With a 14-year jail sentence hanging over their heads they may be slow to go to hospital.

          Reply
          1. Starina

            do enlighten me as to the exact numerical point at which majority becomes vast majority.

  5. Ron Dolan

    In all debates I try to listen to both sides and even if I make a decision, I try to at least understand where those who I disagree with are coming from. However, when you look at the people behind the No campaign, you see the same people who were happy to lock women away in laundries, leave children in abusive home or even allow them be experimented on or sold to the US. In many cases, they wouldn’t even provide basic medical care and if they died, their remains were treated as rubbish and hidden in a septic tank.

    You see people who would have denied marriage rights to same sex people (while calling them promiscuous and worse), who would leave battered women (or men in some cases) married to their abusers. You would have no IVF or reproductive rights, no pill, no condoms. Most likely there would be no immigration, no freedom of religion, children would have their time wasted on Catholic mythology, at best, raped and abused and the actions covered up, ran from, denied NDA’s signed, threats etc.

    So when I look at the No side I ask myself – what is it they are really against because they clearly do not love either and certainly not both.

    The answer is power, plain and simple.

    Power to control, power to compel, power to cover up and dictate. The people behind the No campaign have set the conversation across all sphere since the beginning of their middle eastern mystery cult and that has brought them power and prestige. So I ask myself – should I, in my attempt to be reasonable and open minded, give them my ear now? After 2,000 years of them having it all their own way I have to say no more, enough, draw a line in the sand and listen no more.

    Nobody wants abortion, nobody wants to have an abortion, nobody wants to think of what it entails. But we live in the real world, a world where women, in many cases by virtue of the type of society that the No siders have bequeathed us, have little support, little respect, little trust and little power, have to make incredibly tough decisions. Decisions that need support, not condemnation and certainly not from people who are clearly devoid of any sort of empathy. And I am not even getting in the really hard cases like rape or FFA, women with cancer and many other reasons to terminate a pregnancy.

    I genuinely understand why many people will vote No based on their feelings towards the unborn – normal, everyday people who have their own views and their own take on this issue and I can understand their position respectfully.

    But for the people leading the No campaign, I have no respect, no time and no interest in them or their latest desperate attempt to drag this country back to the Victorian sh*thole it was. People like McGuirk or the Sherlocks or the Iona institute might look up Saudi Arabia or Iran and relocate there because this country is growing up and adults do not need Santa Claus, Jesus or Allah anymore.

    Reply
    1. Starina

      Well said.

      These are the people who would rather play happy families than ever address any deviation from the ideal.

      Reply
      1. newsjustin

        Ron’s comment is basically just a fanciful slur against what he thinks prominent No campaigners also believe in (apart from voting No), which he maintains justifies voting to allow the abortion of human foetuses.

        It is one of the most obvious examples of playing the man, not the ball, and ignoring the actual debate as you are likely to come across.

        Reply
          1. Martco

            re. the latest “only thing worse than rape is death” soundbite out of the midwife wan doing the rounds….I assume you know about it?

            that’s a good one, I’m gonna guess you think that’s factual too.

          2. Cian

            I think it is another ProLife half-truth – there is a grain of truth to it – but that is specifically designed to mislead people. And I think it is despicable.

          3. kellma

            @ Martco – it is very sad because the reality is for many people who have been subjected to a rape, sometimes death is not worse. Sometimes it is seen as a release from the trauma that they carry with them every day thereafter. Playing day in, day out the powerlessness that they feel and the violation that won’t go away. So”Making” them continue with a pregnancy as a consequence of that just takes my breath away….

          4. Cian

            have you hear the expressions “the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth”?

          5. Starina

            oh my god! i just read it! what a disturbed woman! “make [a rape victim] keep her little baby and help her” YAK! this is the No side starting to show their true colours!

          6. Termagant

            I’ve heard of it, usually used to refer to things that are true.

            OK, so she got the numbers wrong. But 1800 foetuses burned as fuel is still quite a lot. What’s the upper limit for you? At what point would there have been enough foetuses burned for heat that you’d be more angry about it than you currently are about this tweet?

          7. Cian

            No limit. As far as I’m concerned they /are/ medical waste – unless (it is late term) the parents want the body, but as I’ve mentioned above, the majority of miscarriages happen at home and end up either in the loo or wrapped in tissue paper in the bin.
            In this scenario – it is literally just a bunch of (dead) cells.

        1. SOQ

          Well sorry but if I come across some clown who also argued against equal marriage, which most of them did, I will most definitely play the man, or woman.

          You cannot ignore the fact that these are the same people who have consistently and repeatedly attempted to obstruct any social change which went against their personal beliefs. You cannot argue in the abstract for or against this referendum because it is most definitely part of a wider picture and like a lot of others, the more I see of the No crew and their lofty ‘moral’ judgements, the more I am for Repeal.

          Reply
        2. Ron Dolan

          ”Which he maintains justifies voting to allow the abortion of human foetuses”.

          Stay classy Justin.

          Reply
      2. mildred st. meadowlark

        Don’t you dare tell me what Ron’s comment was or how I should be affected by it. Just because you disagree with what he’s saying.

        Reply
        1. Ron Dolan

          Leave him at it. He seems to enjoy getting in sly little digs, I have no real interest in engaging anymore, as per my comment above.

          Reply
          1. mildred st. meadowlark

            You’re intelligent enough to read between the lines of your own snarky comments. I’m sure I don’t need to spell it out for you.

  6. Ron Dolan

    Sorry Mildred, I am just very angry about how these people get such a platform. Remember, given the chance, these people who stifle all debate that didn’t fit their narrative.

    I have tried to reasonable and I have tried to be open minded, but there comes a time you just have to step back and say ‘go away, you had your time and you failed’.

    Reply
    1. mildred st. meadowlark

      Don’t apologise. It was an excellent comment, very empathetic and well written.

      And I completely agree.

      Reply
  7. kellma

    There are two types of people in this world; Those who see the opportunity in change and those who fear it because it makes them feel like they are losing control. It is all about control.

    Reply
    1. martco

      you’re correct @kellma
      it is about control, take away all the noise & it is as simple as that

      what we have to remember about the likes of the midwife, the bishop, justin is that they’re all part of an army.
      there’s a war on & this is a battle to them. problem is their weapons aren’t very good anymore but as any army will do in these circumstances they’ll try anything & deploy everything in the fight. diversion, smokescreens, lies, deception, confusing information flood…..they’re not here to be fair to you or I, just win. (oh & if & when they lose this battle there’s still a war to be won by the way, this referendum is just a battle, isn’t that right Justin?)

      one worth chewing on pointed out to me by a friend recently, Orwell, Homage to Catalonia:
      “All the war-propaganda, all the screaming and lies and hatred, comes invariably from people who are not fighting”

      I think Justin it’s fair to say isn’t a 13 y/o rape victim pregnant with his rapists foetus, is he? He’s not the father of a daughter to whom this horrible vista has been visited upon (and I’m glad he isn’t) Nor the bishop. Nor the midwife. Or the fake nurse. Or Shercock. I doubt any of them have a child who has Down Syndrome either, nor are they running around trying to assist anyone practically speaking who finds themselves in that situation or ANY of the ones rolled out for their use at the debating soc.

      NONE of these fuppers have any idea what they are talking about imo.

      a person has the right to control their own body & in this civil society of ours the one I want to live in a person has the individual right to unrestricted & unhindered medical treatment when required. the rest of it is just noise.

      VOTE YES

      Reply

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