Excommunication Clinic


Circular from The Emmanuel House of Providence, Clonfert, County Galway


Fran Greene writes:

So much for the Jesus of compassion. They still don’t get it. Control of people is all that matters…

Emmanuel House

Eddie Stones?

65 thoughts on “Excommunication Clinic

    1. Starina

      but also the Church would never excommunicate Yes voters as they would lose too many numbers then.

      1. Repro-choice Bertie

        Remember when people tried to leave in the wake of the industrial schools scandal and the church did away with the process of leaving instead?

        Besides, how is the church going to know how we vote? Are the Retain volunteers being massed to check IDs at polling stations going to inform the priests?

      2. postmanpat

        They don’t even excommunicate atheists who want to leave because they don’t want the 10% drop in stats back at Vatican HQ. The Catholic Church is mad. It actually counts members who cant leave. How will they identify the yes voters who want to keep doing the stupid Christianity thing anyway? What they will do is nurture the lingering guilt “Catholic yes” voter will have, slowly but surely grow that guilt into active remorse and in a few decades they will have a bunch of middle aged zealots willing to make up for the “mistake” they made getting abortion legalized in Ireland. The church are in it for the long game, they have been playing for 2000 years they are really good at multi generational social engineering.

        1. martco

          but sure pat
          even if 20% managed to upped & left after a few years of arduous paperwork & canon lawyers (hahaha) etc.
          they’d just fiddle the stats

      3. newsjustin

        It’s an interesting one Starina. Actually the church doesn’t excommunicate people in this instance, people excommunicate themselves.

        Is voting Yes facilitating (an) abortion and does it therefore mean one is excommunicated? I don’t know. The bishops haven’t suggested this.

    1. Repro-choice Bertie

      The devout were always going to obey.

      This is going to be close. Be sure to vote and vote early.

    2. Frilly Waters

      ara’ would you wake up RugbeeFan
      the devout numbers can’t be more than 10% of the electorate

      even if its double that
      plus the cranks and professional antagonists
      it still wouldn’t get to 40%

      1. martco

        I hope you’re right Frillz

        that part can’t be influenced in any way…in fact if anything the more zealous NO’s might energise the YES even further (anyone see the lad with the placard out on the N11 this morning @Stillorgan?)

        but votes are votes….it’s going to be so so important to get the younger first timer ones out & down to the polling station & keep the friendly courteous atmosphere going…if confronted by someone like the N11 fella on the day, don’t be bullied, don’t be arsey, just have a big fat smile and be polite & get the vote in!!

      2. Rugbyfan

        I know Frilly, it’s the type of crap in the letter and the fear mongering that is presented therein that is just nuts!.
        fingers crossed sense will win and carry the referendum

    3. Dr.Fart MD

      there is a fear alright, that the god fearing oldies will buy into this lark. BUT, they’ve lived long lives of being bashed, abused and ordered around by the church. In a secret ballot they may well make the decision to not let the church interfere with future generations. just like when they voted on removin the 5th amendment, you’d think theyd all vote to keep that, but it was like 87% voted to remove it. which is overwhelming. So don’t discount the olds too soon. theyve been thru a lot with this shower.

  1. Cian

    Voting ‘Yes’ == automatic excommunication;
    But raping a child ≠ automatic excommunication


    1. TheRealJane

      They don’t even have to tell on you so you should face neither secular nor religious punishment.

  2. AFoxamongpidgeons

    didn’t Eddie’s god kill all the male boys in Eygpt to teach the king a lesson? Sounds like a spiteful and inefficient lad… Eddie too.

    1. postmanpat

      That was the petty old testament god and at least when you were dead you were at peace. The new testament god says you will burn for all eternity in hell after you die unless you believe in him. He went for being an asshole to being and even bigger asshole. He took credit from Prometheus and Athena in our creation. Then said the other gods never existed in the first place. I play for Zeus to return and slap that upstart around , him and that boy of his…

  3. Cian

    Will the media-blackout from lunchtime affect broadsheet?

    Will there be not more new posts? Will comments be closed?

    1. Janet, I ate my Avatar

       uaing God bless, reduces The Almighty to some sort of sky-bound, wish-granting fairy who spends his days randomly bestowing cars and cash upon his followers. 
      so if that’s your aim..carry on :)

  4. TheRealJane

    I am voting YES at 7.30 in the am tomorrow. Excommunicate my bottom if you like!
    For reference, I’m singing this.

    1. scottser

      if they excommunicate you, do you get a cert, or a receipt or something? twould be handy to have, you know when someone starts on with their preachy catholic nonsense, to produce it and be able to walk away without looking rude.

          1. scottser

            if you get a tail then i want a cape, for swooshing round myself and flouncing out the door all dramatic, like.

        1. Starina

          in Italy you can still excommunicate yourself with a government form. a friend of mine did it. think she got a fancy letter confirming doomedness

      1. Cu Cullan

        Yes indeed, you get a lovely looking cert. The fella in the dress who gives it to you gets a kicker if he manages to persuade you to repent first, in which case you don’t the fancy doc.

  5. Niamh

    I didn’t even realise I was auto-excommunicated for having an abortion. Just like Henry the Eighth and Gallileo. Cool.

      1. kellma

        Or that weren’t strong enough to withstand the clinical trials they never agreed to…

        1. Brother Barnabas

          assume it’s to ensure some level of impartiality

          we’ll have to wait for cian

  6. martco

    excommunication? pah! I wish…

    has anyone here ever tried to achieve that in reality, to self-excommunicate?

    I had a go at it years ago, tis some rigmarole, it ain’t easy!!

    1. Frilly Waters

      would a simple act of masturbation not suffice lads

      like why the need to go all fancy

  7. TF Gumby

    The thing about a Friday vote, it also gets the pensioners out. They’ll be out for Friday morning mass, and / or heading to the Post Office to get the pension. So the church will also be able to get the numbers out, as they’ll be voting early.

  8. george

    If only they would excommunicate all yes voters. The next census then might give a more accurate figure on the number of Catholics in the country. This would be a great help in removing the religious ethos from our schools and hospitals. We might even get rid of the Angelus!

  9. Deimos

    george, yes thats a valid point. Lets remove the religion question on any future census and just assume that No = Unrepentant Catholic and Yes = self excommunicated and/or heathens.

    I don’t think the Irish Catholic Church’s Capo’s are in the Vatican good books for a huge list of very good reasons. In fact they are probably headed for the circle of hell that includes the Borgia pope, Mrs Thatcher, Ian Paisley and any interweb billionaires. The only way for them to slip any lower in the ratings is ……… just realised there probably isn’t a way they could get any worse (that I could post in a public space and/or spell correctly).

    Suggestions please ?

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