Socialist Party TD Paul Murphy outside the Criminal Courts of Justice, Dublin yesterday
It’s lovely to see that TDs,
Can get help paying their legal fees,
This may cause some rage,
If you look at his wage,
But at least the nice fellow said please.
Micheál Martin (right) and Enda Kenny at government buildings last Christmas
I never thought I’d live to see,
The day when FF and FG,
Would bite back the pain,
And share a gravy train,
And lead us to prosperity.
The UK Sun’s infamous Hillsborough cover (left) and today’s front page
Why does anyone still buy The Sun?
After all that they’ve said, that they’ve done?
Don’t worry, it’s fine,
There are still tits online,
That paper’s not clever or fun.
Norwegian guide Johan Mikkelson with an 89lb cod
In Norway someone with a rod,
May well land an almighty cod,
If you get your wish,
And catch a coffee fish,
Then give thanks to some undersea god.
Pic: Sportsquest Holidays
After copping a whole load of flack,
Young Conor McGregor is back,
When he said he’d retire,
He was yanking your wire,
And wasn’t it brilliant craic?
Sinn Féin’s 1916 commemoration outside the GPO this morning
A moustachiode fellow named Clarke
Who found insurrection a lark
Said “Beating the Brits
May sound tricky but it’s
Like taking a walk in the park.”
Members of ‘Friends of Abe’, from left: Gary Sinise, Kelsey Grammar and Jon Voight
It’s time for us to bid goodnight,
To the home of the Hollywood Right,
A shabby old club,
That served lousy grub,
And never sent me an invite.
Former Armagh GAA football captain Jarlath Burns
A high profile GAA man,
Has alienated a fan,
With a comment that said,
That the shape of her head,
Resembled the back of a van.
Utah Governor Gary Herbert (above) signed a resolution which declares pornography “a public health hazard
In Utah they’re pouring their scorn,
On the evil temptations of porn,
So bodily bits,
Like arses and tits,
Are banned now, along with the horn.
Republican Presidential hopeful Donald Trump at rally in Buffalo, New York last night
The gap between seven and nine,
Is naught but a very fine line,
And if Don makes a slip,
As he shoots from the hip,
There’s no need to nit-pick and whine.