Author Archives: John Moynes

EU leaders dine last night ahead of a Brexit summit in Salzburg, Austria this morning

Cutting a country in two
Is never a nice thing to do
But I must admit it’s
Quite a stretch for the Brits
To claim they also think this is true

John Moynes

Pic: SkyNews

Actress Stormy Daniels has written a tell-all book about her alleged affair with US President Donald Trump

Some things are repulsive, and so
If you’re telling a story then know
If the shape of his part
Is Toad from Mario Kart
Then that’s a place you shouldn’t go

John Moynes

Minister for Justice and Equality Charlie Flanagan (left) with  Garda Commissioner Drew Harris at the Garda College, Templemore last month

Before long you’d have to be thick
If you’re tempted to take a quick pick
Of a Garda at work
For due to a quirk
Of our laws you’ll end up in the nick

John Moynes

Rollingnews

Deliveroo offers alcohol as part of its online menu

There are worries that some youngster choose
To make a phone call to buy booze
We’re not sure how many
Or even if any
But somehow this still counts as news.

John Moynes

Rollingnews

Volkswagen will stop making its Beetle car next year

It’s bad news for people who are
Fans of a small German car
Like the hippies who dug
That crazy Love Bug,
The rear-engine-drive movie star

John Moynes

Pic: AFP

Irish viewers have expressed anger at the pronunciation of Irish place names by the character Casey on Netflix coming-of-age drama ‘Atypical’.

Atypical pronunciation
Is the cause of much online frustration
Between you and me
One should not say “Ath-ee”
When seeking a standing ovation

John Moynes

Atypical?

If you want some food that will thrill you
But don’t want your breakfast to kill you
Then up north they’re makin’
A new type of bacon
That might be the thing to fulfill you

John Moynes

Pic: Finnebrogue

Sean Gallagher and Michael D Higgins during the 2011 Presidential campaign

At least five people soon will embark
On a long grueling race to the park
They’ll be breaking their balls
To set out their stalls
I can’t wait for this jolly old lark

John Moynes

Rollingnews

At Stringfellows Covent Garden in London

The taxman once reckoned a dancer
Was being a bit of a chancer
For claiming relief
On clothes that were brief
But the judge gave a much better answer

Pic: Stringfellows