Bloomsday is upon us, let’s go,
To a brothel and watch the floor show,
Will I make the choice,
To dress up like Joyce?
No, I said, No, I said No.
The hard-working broadcaster Pat,
Has enraged people who believe that,
He said Donegal folks,
Were all lazy yokes,
But they’re tired now, they’ll leave it at that.
(Sasko Lazarov/Photocall Ireland)
With duties this high you know you’ll,
Not want to be played for a fool,
So go to the border,
And place a big order,
And fill up with tax exempt fuel.
A newsreader’s had to say why,
He once told a whopping great lie,
The dirty old liar,
Said he came under fire,
In Iraq, somewhere up in the sky.
All weekend a strong wind did blow,
And the temperature’s plummeting so,
We might see tonight,
The country turn white,
As we get the year’s first fall of snow.
(Laura Hutton/Photocall Ireland)
The verdict is looking quite rum,
For the ex-Anglo head honcho Drumm,
Judge Bailey was wise,
To all of his lies,
And he’s left David feeling quite glum.
If you’re after a nice bit of fun,
Don’t mess with the great Kim Jong-un,
When Hollywood tried,
Their computers were fried,
And as usual our hero won.
Our number one citizen, Squee,
Has gone to the land that grows tea,
To take in the sights,
And not mention rights,
When chatting to President Xi.
The boffins at google have said,
That a board game that talks to the dead,
Is the number one gift,
And sales are so swift,
That we’ll all enjoy some yuletide dread.
Sinn Féin TD Mary Lou McDonald last night
A Deputy called Mary Lou,
Wouldn’t leave when the chair asked her to,
Remaining quite calm,
She threw toys from her pram,
‘Till the rest of the chamber withdrew.
(Leah Farrell/Photocall Ireland)