Simon, destined to be the world’s biggest bunny, died in the cargo section of a United Airlines Boeing 767
An airline may lose some more money
After killing a very large bunny
Will the court name a figure
Or break down and snigger?
Let’s face it, it is rather funny.
Pic via The Sun
Kerala bar owner skirts ban on sale of alcohol within 500 metres of highway
An Indian judgement would send
A thirsty chap right round the bend
So let’s toast in praise
The Kerala maze
That lets thirsty folk drink at the end.
Pic: Sasi Chandrika for the Guardian
Marine le Pen, president of France’s National Front
Remember that Nazi, Le Pen?
He got through the first round and then
Faced electoral slaughter
Now this time his daughter
Is doing the same thing again.
Bertie Ahern (left) with Darragh O’Brien TD at a Fianna Fáil Brexit event in Athlone last night
Let’s all celebrate as we learn
That our hero has made his return
So raise up a glass
Of fresh foamy Bass
To that honest man Bertie Ahern
Pic via Midlands 103
Adults are banned from the Legoland Discovery Centre, Melbourne, Australia unless accompanied by a child
Some Aussies are feeling the rage
After handing a chunk of their wage
To those who say toys
Are for small girls and boys
And excluding folk of an old age.
Minister for Health Simon Harris TD with a model of St Vincent’s University Hospital
Young Simon has hit a home run
His work on the hospital’s done
And just for a wheeze
He’s handing the keys
To the door of the place to a nun.
Has a member of our police force
Made a movie that’s naughty and coarse?
Will this be the last straw
For enforcers of law?
And will they show any remorse?
In Germany, a centuries-old rule forbids dancing on Good Friday
Today spare a thought for the Hun
Whose laws won’t allow any fun
If they take a chance
And go for a dance
They’re facing a life on the run.
Kim Jong-Un visits a rocket launching site in North Korea
Our hero is standing steadfast
As Imperialist gunboats sail past
What’s needed of course
Is a great show of force
So Saturday will be a blast.
Randy Work asked judge to take into account his ‘genius’ during divorce proceedings
A financier called Randy Work
Demanded in court, with a smirk
A far larger share
Than his ex wife thought fair
As his genius was owed a perk.