By Darren Cullen and Mark Tolson (£6).
Epic product description win:
….new Hypoallergenic Shapeshifting Lizard Skin Cream, for the hard-working reptilian overlord who wants to crush the human race AND look great. Revitalise dry cracked scales with the nutrifying formula, penetrating your watertight, abrasive epidermis with vitamin-enriched micro-molecules. Never again spend hours removing crusty nodules from your armoured eyelids or sandblasting your segmented underbelly. Instead, spend your life-cycle on the things that really matter to you: eating babies, manipulating financial markets and basking on rocks in the warm glow of Earth’s home star. Whichever form you’ve taken, simply lather the cream onto tough lizard scales or weak and thin human tissue. The vitamin E rich formula gets to work fast, leaving your external membrane hard, reinforced and radiant. Start each day with that “just-shed-skin” feeling!
Private Hudson. He never did secure that sh*t.
(We, like Lt. Gorman in the film, originally referred to Private Hudson as ‘Hicks’ in this post. Kudos to commenter Cool Hand Lucan for the rather brilliantly contextual ‘I’m Hudson, he’s Hicks’…)
We’ve seen it. Oh Lordy, is all we’ll say for now.
Anyway, if you HAVE seen it, you’ll want to read Collider’s excellent interview with Ridley Scott. It contains answers to many of the questions you’ll have been asking since you left the cinema.
It also contains MASSIVE spoilers, so don’t – do not – follow the link unless you’ve seen the movie.