Tag Archives: Broadsheet Trailer Park

heart-sea-movie-poster-691x1024

What you may need to know:

1. Ron Howard’s drama about the whaleship Essex, which was attacked and sunk by a sperm whale (yes alright) in 1820. The shipwrecked crew were adrift for 90 days and resorted to cannibalism. Nom nom.

2. Based on Nathaniel Philbrick’s 2000 novel of the same name, the story of the Essex was the inspiration for Herman Melville’s Moby-Dick.

3. The man that was once Richie Cunningham has assembled an impressive supporting cast, including the untouchable Ben Whishaw and our lad Cillian Murphy.

4. Andy Serkis is doing the whale.

5. (Andy Serkis is not doing the whale).

6. Broadsheet Prognosis: More sperm than Ron Jeremy.

Release Date: March 13, 2015

(DelBoy is alive, well and living comfortably off the proceeds of his Eircom shares. Mark blogs about film, TV and other stuff at WhyBother.ie)

poster

What you may need to know:

1. Three vampires living in a shared flat in downtown Wellington are struggling to adapt to the challenges of modern living. They allow a camera crew in to their lives to film a documentary.

2. Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi have teamed up again to develop their short film of the same name into a full feature.

3. It’s the first time they’ve collaborated since Eagle vs Shark (2007.

4. Waititi’s last film Boy (2010) was a record New Zealand box office smash.

5. Clement blew us away in Gentlemen Broncos (2009). Here is hoping.

6. Will Ferrell’s online vehicle Funny Or Die is lending its marketing weight to the film as part of the distribution.

7. Broadsheet Prognosis: We are Team Funny.

Release date: November 21

(Delboy is away)

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What you may need to know:

1. Ian Power‘s drama recreates the night in September 2008 when the government decided to guarantee the Irish banking system.

2. This evening the part of David Drumm will be played by Fran from Love/Hate, and Amber’s dad will be Brian Lenihan.

3. If you’re wondering why there’s no sign of Bertie, it’s because he’d cashed in his chips six months previously. Besides, he had no idea what was going on anyway. No siree bob.

4. They should have got Barry Murphy to play Angela Merkel. Stroking a cat.

5. Other names under consideration were “The Buggering,” “The Shafting” and “The Hazing.”

6. Shame this wasn’t postponed until the run up to the next general election.

7. Matt Cooper will be hosting a satellite link-up hour of rage at selected (scroll down) premiere screenings.

7. Broadsheet Prognosis: Prepare to have your p1ss boiled all over again.

Release Date: October 30 (at selected cinemas)

(DelBoy is away. Mark blogs about film, TV and other stuff at WhyBother.ie)

Humblingposter

What you may need to know:

1. An aging actor loses his skills and his desire to perform and attempts suicide. He later begins an affair with a much younger lesbian which sparks passion into his life once again.

2. The movie is adapted from Philip Roth’s steamy novel of the same name . Al Pacino bought the rights in 2009. The sly dog.

3. As a novel it didn’t garner great review with the Guardian reviewer saying  busy Roth needed to “be slowing down a little. And perhaps should be getting out of the house a bit more.”

4. It was a very depressing book, the trailer seems to have a few laughs though.

5. The great Barry Levinson is directing. I suppose we can forgive him Sphere (1998) after all. Just.

6. Greta Gerwig is apparently  producing and writing the How I met Your Mother spin-off. entitled How I Met Your Dad.

7. Broadsheet Prognosis: More humbling, less fumbling please.

Release Date: TBC

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What you may need to know:

1. Brian Gleeson agrees to put his ex-girlfriend up for the night after her flight out of Dublin is delayed and all hotels in the city are booked out.

2. It’s another Gleeson movie. The Baldwins are part Irish too you know.

3. That’s Megan from Mad Men. She has also been lending her voice to deranged TV animation Robot Chicken of late.

4. It rains a lot in Dublin? Rome is wetter but you never hear people complaining about the weather in Rome. Harrumph.

5. I don’t think that’s a real French accent.

6. Broadsheet Prognosis: What’s the French for cliché?

Release Date: November 14t

automata-poster-antonio-banderas-02

What you may need to know:

1. Sci-fi set in 2044. Solar storms have turned the world’s surface into a radioactive desert and decimated the population to 21 million. Robots carry out the manual labour necessary for humankind’s survival.

2. Insurance guy Jacq Vaucan (Antonio Banderas) investigates a robot that’s broken one of the security protocols (ie. Asimov’s laws) designed to protect their human overlords.

3. A cross between Blade Runner (1982) and I, Robot (2004) that’s not based on a story by Philip K. Dick? Strange.

4.
Kudos to sophomore director Gabe Ibáñez for taking a modest $15m budget and making it look like a lot more.

5. 2044 and no flying cars or hoverboards? Come on science, step up.

6. Broadsheet Prognosis: Linguo… dead?

Release Date:
October 10 (US).

(DelBoy is away. Mark blogs about film, TV and other stuff at WhyBother.ie)

sniper

What you may need to know:

1. Clint Eastwood directs Bradley Cooper in the biopic of US Navy SEAL Chris Kyle.

2. Now that’s how you do a trailer.

3. With 160 confirmed kills and four tours of duty in Iraq, Kyle was the deadliest sniper in US military history.

4. Obviously, killing 160 people isn’t the sort of thing that you just leave at work. Kyle had a hard time adjusting to civilian life, and his knack for finding trouble included a punch-up with former WWF wrestler and governor of Minnesota Jesse Ventura.

5. Sienna Miller is unrecognisable. I mean in general.

6. It looks like Clint’s back on form after the fluffy musical Jersey Boys (2014) and underwhelming Trouble with the Curve (2012).

7. Broadsheet Prognosis: Bullseye.

Release Date: January 16, 2015 (UK).

(DelBoy is away. Mark blogs about film, TV and other stuff at WhyBother.ie)

Jupiter Ascending

What you may need to know:

1. Jupiter (Mila Kunis) is a mild-mannered janitor (just like Hong Kong Phooey) destined for greatness. When Caine (Channing Tatum), a genetically engineered hunter arrives on earth, Jupiter discovers that she is heir to an inheritance that could alter the balance of the cosmos.

2. Does anyone else find this whole “Wachowski siblings” thing ridiculous? Surely “The Wachowskis” covers everything?

3. After two diabolical Matrix sequels, Speed Racer (2008) and Cloud Atlas (2012), the Wachowskis have squandered more goodwill than M Night Shyamalan.

4. Poor Channing – looks like he’s playing with the double handicap of a ropey British accent and bad facial hair.

5. Jupiter Ascending was originally slated for release in July 2014 but Warner Bros pushed it back by seven months. Box office competition? Spongebob: Sponge out of Water.

6. Broadsheet Prognosis: Wachowskis Descending.

Release Date: February 6, 2015.

(DelBoy is away. Mark blogs about film, TV and other stuff at WhyBother.ie)

trailer

What you may need to know:

1. Set in 1970′s California, a permanently stoned Private Dick gets dragged in to a kidnapping conspiracy by a former girlfriend.

2. It’s Paul Thomas Anderson’s new film! The most anticipated release since the birth of Saphur II The Great.

3. The film is an adaptation of Thomas Pynchon’s novel of the same name.

4. It’s also Pynchon’s first book to be adapted for screen and he is rumored to have cameo in it. It will be hard to tell as there has not been a reliable photograph taken of him in 50 years.

5. Unlike Anderson’s last two movies – There Will Be Blood (2007) and The Master (2013) – this is less character study more slapstick comedy. He said that he took a lot of inspiration from the makers of Airplane! (1980) and The Naked Gun (1988).

6. No John C. Reilly or Luiz Guzman?

7. Anderson left film school after two days because he felt his lecturers were making film boring.

8. Broadsheet Prognosis: Vice vice baby.

Release date: January 30, 2015

taken-3-poster

What you may need to know:

1. It’s Taken 3, or Tak3n if you must. This time Bryan Mills must defend himself after being framed for the murder of his wife. And protect his daughter from a similar fate.

2. “My first priority is to protect the only one I have left”. Yusss.

3. When Liam Neeson was in Dublin for the premier of Taken 2 (2012) he told 98fm that he would not be interested in a Taken 3. He believed that it would be tantamount to “bad parenting”.

4. He finally agreed so long as nobody was actually taken.

5. Tak3n has the same writers and directors as Taken 2 (2012). They really have a very specific set of skills.

6. There are some pretty bad-ass scenes in the trailer. The jet having its landing gear removed by the drifting Porsche is one of them.

7. The film’s director is Olivier Megaton. His original name was Olivier Fontana but took Megaton as an artistic name, inspired by the fact that he was born 20 years to the day after the atomic bombing of Hiroshima. The Hiroshima bomb was 16 kilotons.

8. Broadsheet Prognosis: Tak3n the p*ss.

Release Date: January 8, 2015

Apologies for French-language poster.

(DelBoy is away)