Tag Archives: Broadsheet Trailer Park

Zombeavers

What you may need to know:

1. A weekend trip turns into horror for a group of teenagers in a beaver infested swamp.

2. No beavers were harmed during the making of this film. As you can probably tell.

3. Just as well. You don’t want to go up against Brian May.

4. Yes, I know Brian is all about the Badger, but I couldn’t find any famous beaver supporters (fnar).

5. Single entendre alert @1:20!

6. “Hey honey, what about Zombeavers? It’s from the guy who secured a bridging loan for American Pie.” I’m not saying that this is pretending to be Citizen Kane, but when exactly did the producer become a selling point? David O. Selznick is turning in his grave.

7. As with Sharknado (2013) or Sharknado 2: The Second One (2014) the story is secondary to the title. From Wererats to Vamporillas, the possibilities are endless.

8. Broadsheet Prognosis: “Nice beaver…

Release Date:
March 20 (VOD).

(Mark blogs about film, TV and other stuff at WhyBother.ie)

KM3T_TIFF_ANIMATED

What you may need to know:

1. Ever so slightly NSFW.

2. Charlie Wolfe (Simon Pegg) is a professional assassin sent to kill Alice Taylor (Alice Braga). He soon discovers that he’s not the only one trying to kill her.

3. Pegg: “This script is awful. It’s lazy, generic, sub-Tarantino rubbish. And it’s painfully unfunny.
Agent: “It’s three months in sunny Australia. Plus expenses.”
Pegg: “Can I grow a moustache?

4. Kill Me Three Times is described as a black comedy. The total lack of jokes in the trailer is not a good sign.

5. Simon Pegg is growing increasingly Marmite with every role. Starting with How to Lose Friends and Alienate People (2008), he’s clocked up an impressive list of unlikeable characters in poorly received movies. Shaun of the Dead (2004) seems like a very long time ago.

6. As co-writer of the next Star Trek movie, Pegg now has the unenviable task of cleaning up the mess left by Robert Orci and Alex Kurtzman. Fast and Furious helmer Justin Lin will take over directing duties from J.J. Abrams, who is otherwise engaged.

7. Broadsheet Prognosis: Go rewatch Grosse Pointe Blank (1997) instead.

Release Date: April 10.

(Mark blogs about film, TV and other stuff at WhyBother.ie)

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What you may need to know:

1. This 14 minute short has nothing to do with the Power Rangers of your youth. It’s a dark examination of what would happen should a truce between Earth and the Machine Empire occur.

2.  Haim Saban is morphing into the Green Ranger.

3. Director Joseph Kahn says he is not making any money from the short and uses original material so that’s cool. But it is really all about the Power Rangers though no?

4. Doesn’t the Blue Ranger’s antics remind you of Ozymandias from The Watchmen (2009) making his billions from Watchmen action figures but still kicking ass in secret? No? That’s probably for the best.

5. Where is Pacey. I guess he’s having an affair with his mentor Zordon. Dawson still has Joey issues.

6. Kahn is mainly associated with music videos and TV ads. The producer Adi Shankar is behind a string of other ‘unofficial’ shorts such as The Punisher: Dirty Laundry and Venom: Truth in Journalism [.

7. Lionsgate is in the middle of filming their own official Power Rangers feature. The franchise has been knocked for promoting violence. This short is not helping, in fairness.

8. Broadsheet Prognosis: Go Go Power Attorneys

Release Date: Available NOW

patrick-oscars-2015-4551-superJumbo Director Alejandro González Iñárritu (centre) with Best Film Oscar for Birdman

What do you mean you ‘weren’t invited’?

What you may need to know:

1.  The night’s big shocker was Alejandro González Iñárritu’s Birdman bagging four golden naked guys, including the two biggies for best director and best picture. One-time favourite 12 Years of Emo – sorry – Boyhood took home a single, solitary statuette.

2. First-time presenter Neil Patrick Harris was… okay. What worked: The Birdman bit and an early salvo at the inherent whiteness of the nominees (at least David Oyelowo got a good seat). What didn’t work: His opening number (ugh) with dancing stormtroopers and Jack Black (double ugh), not to mention choosing to follow the best short documentary winner’s heartfelt speech about suicide with an ill-judged joke about the woman’s dress.

3. Thank you count – Spouses and/or parents: 23. Agents: 11. Wes Anderson: 6. God: 1. It was a bad year for false idols with Harvey Weinstein failing to garner a single expression of gratitude.

4. Patricia Arquette gave a well-received (mainly by Meryl Streep) speech about equal pay, while John Legend and Common used the opportunity to express some rousing and heartfelt sentiments on civil rights. But the best speech of the night was undoubtedly Ida’s Pawel Pawlikowski, who gallantly barrelled through not one but two rounds of cut-off music. Well played, Sir.

5 In spite of some fine work from John Travolta, the weirdest presenter award goes to Terence Howard, who tried to break the microphone and seemed to be publicly working through some personal issues.

6. Commiserations to Irish nominees Cartoon Saloon, Michael Lennox and Ronan Blaney. Sadly both Song of the Sea and Boogaloo and Graham lost out in their respective categories.

7. If you’re shocked or surprised that your personal favourite didn’t get the love, then The Hollywood Reporter’s series of “Brutally Honest” interviews with Academy members casts a light on the process behind who gets what and why.

8. For example, one anonymous voter picked Leviathan (2014) for best foreign film based on the poster. “I didn’t get around to seeing any of them. I shouldn’t have voted, but I did. Everywhere I looked, I saw pictures of this stupid carcass and I thought, ‘That’s a cool-looking thing.’ And I voted for a movie based on the dead whatever it was in the ad thinking that it looked cool.”

9. And it gets worse: On casting his vote for best documentary feature, he added “I didn’t see any of the nominees, but goddamn Virunga is running commercials late-night every freaking hour, and those gorillas, man — I was like, ‘Wow, that looks heavy.’ And I voted for it.” So now you know.

10. Broadsheet Verdict: As these things go, it wasn’t bad but it was far from exceptional. But more importantly – who were you wearing? This special was brought to you in association with Quinnsworth Yellow Pack Vodka – even better than the real thing.Highlights of the 87th Academy Awards are on RTÉ2 tonight at 9pm.

(Mark blogs about film, TV and other stuff at WhyBother.ie)

oscar

What you may need to know:

1. It’s the Oscars, stupid.

2. The ceremony is back in the Dolby Theater which has hosted the event since 2002. It was originally the Kodak Theater but selfies and smartphones put paid to Eastman Kodak. The venue was purposefully designed with the Oscars in mind and seats 3200 egos.

3. Irish made Song of the Sea (2014) and Bogaloo Graham (2014) in the nominations house.

4. Neil Patrick Harris (top) is hosting. He has carved out bit of a niche for himself in this regard. The 2013 Tony’s was his best turn so far. But who is the Irish guy making the introductions?

5. Up for the top gong is:
American Sniper
Birdman
Boyhood
The Grand Budapest Hotel
The Imitation Game
Selma
The Theory of Everything
Whiplash

6. We have our half crown on long shot Selma (2014) and shoe-in Julianne Moore.

7. We also expect Alejandro González Iñárritu, J.K Simmons and Patricia Arquette to make speeches.

6. Broadsheet Prognosis: Oscar makes the best weiners.

Release Date: Monday morning 1.30am

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What you may need to know:

1. Amy (Jordanne Jones, top left) is a 13-year-old trying to cope with the death of her mother. She experiences the temptation of suicide after witnessing the outpouring of love for a local suicide victim.

2. Writer/director Frank Berry’s follow-up to Ballymun Lullaby (2011) examines the disturbing phenomenon of suicide clusters among teenagers in rural Ireland.

3. I Used to Live Here picked up the Audience Award for Best Feature at last years’ Galway Film Fleadh.

4. It was shot in Killinarden and features a cast of first-timers from the community.

5. If you’re affected by any of these issues, Childline (1800 666666) and the Samaritans (1850 609090) are available 24/7.

6.
Broadsheet Prognosis: Neorealism. Tallaght style.

Release Date: April 3

(Mark blogs about film, TV and other stuff at WhyBother.ie)

cobbler_xlg

What you may need to know:

1. Adam Sandler stars as a creepy cobbler that discovers a magical sewing machine which allows him to walk in other peoples shoes. Do you see what they did there?

2. Sandler didn’t produce himself in to this one. He actually stars in it on merit.

3. Sandler has not been in a good film since we were 12. Hang on…

4. But we can’t blame him solely for this film. We can also point the finger at Emmy winner Ellen Barkin, two-time Oscar winner Dustin Hoffman, Grammy winner Method Man, Golden Globe winner Steve Buscemi and Bafta winning writer Thomas McCarthy. J’accuse!

5. There is little studio fanfare surrounding the release of this feel good comedy. Do you know what else feels good? Triple-ply toilet paper.

6. Broadsheet Prognosis: Absolute cobblers

Release Date: May 22

victoria-poster

What you may need to know:

1. Victoria meets a nice man in a nightclub and they get all flirty. Turns out he’s in a criminal gang and they need a driver. Poor choice Victoria.

2. The film’s director has been treading boards for a long time. Remember The English Patient (1996)? He rocked as Interrogation Room Soldier.

3. Anyway, this film is a two and a bit hours single mobile shot. Birdman (2014) used a bit of trickery and visuals to create the illusion of an extra long shot but this one appears to be the real unbroken deal.

4. That is proper battery life. Stupid iphone.

5. Darren Aronofsky says this movie has “rocked his world”

6. Broadsheet Prognosis: No mandatory tea break?

Release date: TBC

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What you may need to know:

1. A young girl named Emily comes in to contact with a distant descendant who has traveled from the future. They discuss technology and how it impacts on humanity.

2. The trailer can’t give away too much. The whole thing is only 17 minutes long.

3. This is not animator Don Hertzfeldt’s first rodeo. He got an Oscar nomination for Rejected (2000) and he was the toast of Cannes for Billy’s Balloon (1998). He even did a Simpsons couch gag.

4. The future is full of lines and colours.

5. We don’t really know if it is any good. Anyone that has seen it appears to have p****d their pants and then written about how it is the most amazing thing they have ever seen.

6. This could just be a front for hypnotoad.

7. Broadsheet Prognosis: Maybe they do live.

Release Date:  March 13 on VOD

Crimson-Peak-poster

What you may need to know:

1. In the aftermath of a family tragedy, young author Edith Cushing (Mia Wasikowska) is dislocated to an eerie house that breathes and bleeds, and soon discovers that her new husband Sir Thomas Sharpe (Tom Hiddleston) is not who he appears to be.

2. Guillermo del Toro’s back to his creepy best after the giant robot rock ‘em sock ‘em headscratcher, Pacific Rim (2013).

3. This looks very Tim Burton. Good Tim Burton, not bad Tim Burton.

4. Del Toro wrote the script for Crimson Peak after Pan’s Labyrinth in 2006, but Hellboy II (2008) and a fruitless two-year journey to Middle Earth got in the way.

5. Coincidentally, Hiddleston and Charlie Hunnam both auditioned for the role of Thor (2011) before Chris Hemsworth got the part.

6. That funereal PJ Harvey song playing over the trailer is her cover of Nick Cave’s Red Right Hand. This version was recorded for the second series of BBC’s Peaky Blinders. If you’re not up on Peaky Blinders, then you’re missing a treat.

7. Broadsheet Prognosis: Bloody good.

Release Date:
October 16.

(Mark blogs about film, TV and other stuff at WhyBother.ie)