Tag Archives: Broadsheet Trailer Park

black-mass-poster

What you may need to know:

1. Whitey Bulger (Johnny Depp), South Boston’s most infamous criminal turns FBI informant. Biopic directed by Scott Cooper.

2. Worst. Masterchef. Ever.

3. Contact lenses? Very Fields of the Nephilim circa 1990. Someone’s been to Asha.

4.Funny like I’m a clown? I amuse you?” If Joe Pesci wasn’t retired, he could have pulled this off in his sleep.

5. Looks like a step up from Mortdecai (2015). Mind you, what isn’t?

6. Broadsheet Prognosis: Whatever. I’m still processing that Star Wars Trailer.

Release Date: September 25.

(Mark blogs about film, TV and other stuff at WhyBother.ie)

Ant-Man-Comic-Con-2014-Exclusive-Poster

What you may need to know

1. Marvel have a movie out today (Age Of Ultron) that’s going to make a billion dollars. Here’s their other movie this summer.

2. You’ve probably heard about the troubled production history.

3. Joss Whedon fears Marvel may have made an error.

4. Paul Rudd tends to turn up in the strangest places.

5. Who’s the baddie? Corey Stoll, from House Of Cards, Homeland and The Strain. You may not recognise him without his terrible rug.

6. Broadsheet Prognosis: Better than the first trailer, although you can’t but worry about a movie where they appear to spend the whole time apologising for how silly it is.

Release Date: July

happyish

What you may need to know.

1. Steve Coogan has been trying to break the US for years. He’ll get there eventually. It’s all about TV over there these days.

2. When the movie roles he wanted weren’t coming, he wrote one for himself, and got an Oscar nomination – for screenplay.

3. Happyish was originally supposed to star Phillip Seymour Hoffman, who had already shot the pilot before he died.

4. Once In A Lifetime? Seriously?

5. Partridge aside, he’s never better than when playing himself.

6. Broadsheet Prognosis: This feels like a mid-naughties life-crisis movie, possibly starring Nicolas Cage and Julianne Moore.

Release date: April 26 (Showtime)

batman vsuperman

What you may need to know:

1. Certain factions begin to consider Superman (Henry Cavill) as a threat to mankind in the aftermath of the city-destroying events of Man of Steel (2013). Enter the Batman (Ben Affleck).

2. Affleck does look mighty impressive in the Batsuit, and the voice is a huge improvement on Christian Bale’s risible Batvoice. Lest we forget – he was da bomb in Phantoms (1998).

3. With Wonder Woman, Aquaman and Cyborg in the mix with Jessie Eisenberg’s Lex Luthor, I predict some cluttered Spider-Man 3 (2007) style shenanigans.

4. Also… Zack Snyder. Let’s face facts – Man of Steel (2013) was an unholy mess of exposition, climaxing with a blue blur throwing a grey blur through buildings for the best part of an hour.

5. And no John Williams? Huge mistake.

6. Broadsheet Prognosis: Holy green screen crapfest, Batman.

Release Date: March 25, 2016

(Mark blogs about film, TV and other stuff at WhyBother.ie)

star-wars-the-force-awakens-teaser-poster1

What you may need to know:

1. Grab it while it’s hot. Director J.J. Abrams and producer Kathleen Kennedy have just introduced the second trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens at the “Celebration” über convention in California. Old schoolers Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, Peter Mayhew and Anthony Daniels were joined by newcomers Oscar Isaac, John Boyega and Daisy Ridley.

2. Watch, rewatch and watch it again. This has everything the first trailer didn’t – The music… that voiceover… and Han and Chewie on the friggin’ Falcon!!!

3. In leather. Sure, why not?

4. Still no sign of intergalactic senates, trade federations or embargoes. Good… gooood.

5. It looks like a lot of the plot and concept art leaks are on the money. My advice? don’t go digging.

6. Full disclosure: I just had a full on nerdgasm.

7. Broadsheet Prognosis: I have a very good feeling about this.

Release Date:
December 18.

(Mark blogs about film, TV and other stuff at WhyBother.ie)

sinister2

What you may need to know:

1. Sequel to 2012’s moderately successful horror. Original writer Scott Derrickson returns, but National Irish Film School at IADT graduate Ciarán Foy takes over directing duties.

2. A young mother (Shannyn Sossamon) and her twin sons move into a rural house that’s marked for death.

3. That’s property bubbles for you. Spiralling prices force countless young families into more affordable rural housing, irrespective of “marked for death” status or not. Thanks a bunch, Bertie.

4. The bogeyman looks like that dude from Slipknot.

5. The law of diminishing returns means that Ethan Hawke is absent. Just like Kim Cattrall in Mannequin on the Move (1991). Or Kim Cattrall in Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1987).

6. Broadsheet Prognosis: Boo.

Release Date: August 21.

(Mark blogs about film, TV and other stuff at WhyBother.ie)

starwars

What you may need to know:

1. The Star Wars saga is now available for *cough* legal download for the first time.

2. Should go nicely with the 2011 Blu-ray box set, the 2008 re-packaged DVDs, the 2006 limited editions with the unaltered original trilogy, the original 2006 DVD box set and the first widescreen releases from 1994 on VHS (which I still have somewhere, although I can’t play them on anything).

3. The download figures for IV-VI versus I-III should be interesting. The best thing about those prequels was Mr. Plinkett’s reviews.

4. It’s a shame that George Lucas was never schooled in the delicate art of respecting your work. Once it’s out there George, it’s not yours anymore.

5. Star Wars: The Force Awakens is out in 253 days. So in 254 days we’ll all be b*tching about how it wasn’t as good as Phantom Menace (1999).

6. Broadsheet Prognosis: Enough already. Just release the unaltered originals.

Release Date: Today.

(Mark blogs about film, TV and other stuff at WhyBother.ie)

colin farrell

What you may need to know

1. The Farreller! Vince Vaughan! STARING INTENSELY.

2. Love Farrell’s ‘tash.

3. Can it possibly live up to the first season? Was the first season (whisper it) overrated?

4. TV is now where movie stars go to improve their prospects. Fact.

5. We still think they should get McConaughey and Woody back for Season Three.

6. Broadsheet Prognosis: We wish they had done this one instead.

Broadcast Date: June

human-centipede-3-trailer

What you may need to know:

1. As pop culture punchlines go, The Human Centipede movies have had a decent run.

2. Human Centipede 3 features Dieter Laser, from Part 1, and Laurence R. Harvey, from Part 2.

3. It also features Eric Roberts, perhaps the only actor alive who can do a PT Anderson movie AND a Human Centipede flick in the same twelve months.

4. 500 convict-long human centipede, anyone?

5. Broadsheet Prognosis: We’ll always have the South Park parody.

Release Date: May

B9J-9pZCYAAMtOn

What you may need to know:

1. The long-retired and increasingly forgetful Sherlock Holmes (Ian McKellen) tries to solve his last unsolved case.

2. The real mystery is who cut this trailer and what’s with the dog-rough musical segue @0:44?

3. Since his screen debut in the 30-second silent Mutoscope film, Sherlock Holmes Baffled (1900), more than 70 actors have portrayed the character, including Basil Rathbone, Jeremy Brett, Roger Moore, Christopher Plummer, Christopher Lee, Robert Downey Jr. and Jonny Lee Miller.

4. Those of you hankering for a bit of Cumberbatch will get a temporary fix in December with a one-off Christmas special set in the Victorian era. But don’t expect season 4 until 2016 at the earliest.

5. NOT THE BEES!!!

6. Broadsheet Prognosis: Sherlock Holmes and the Mystery of the Faint Smell of Wee.

Release Date:
June 19.

(Mark blogs about film, TV and other stuff at WhyBother.ie)