Tag Archives: Broadsheet Trailer Park

Snowden

What you may need to know:

1. Biopic of Edward Snowden (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), the CIA analyst who leaked classified NSA documents in 2013.

2. This stuff is a gift for Oliver Stone.

3. The director must be struggling to find material after working through almost every US president.

4. Which might explain Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps.

5. Ladies and gentlemen… It’s Nicolas Cage.

6. I’m just popping off to clear my browsing history.

7. Broadsheet prognosis: Whistle while you blow.

Release Date: September 16.

cafe-society

What you may need to know:

1. Jesse Eisenberg plays the Woody-by-proxy role for the second time in the director’s 48th movie.

2. Late-period Allen is like a family-sized box of Roses on Stephen’s Day; it’s still chocolate, but the purple ones are long gone.

3.
Steve Carell took over from Bruce Willis, who dropped out due to “scheduling issues”.

4. Not the first name that would spring to mind.

5. There’s still no sign of Allen’s TV show for Amazon. It doesn’t sound good, though.

6.
Broadsheet prognosis: If you can’t be good, be funny.

Release Date:
August 12.


What you may need to know:

1. Seven outlaws are hired to protect the sleepy town of Rose Creek from greedy industrialist Bartholomew Bogue (Peter Sarsgaard).

2. Director Antoine Fuqua (Training Day, The Equalizer) fixes the unbroken. With the help of Denzel Washington, Chris Pratt and Ethan Hawke..

3. Of course, John Sturges’ The Magnificent Seven (1960) was a remake of Akira Kurasawa’s Seven Samurai (1954).

4. Which makes this a remake of a remake, or a matryoshka doll of mundanity.

5. Would these endless remakes be more acceptable if they changed the titles? The Heroic Heptad, perhaps? Or The Spectacular Septuplicate?

6. Robert Vaughn is the last of the magnificent OGs still standing.

7. Broadsheet prognosis: The man don’t give a Fuqua.

Release Date:
September 13.

everybody wants some

What you may need to know:

1. Fratboy Jake (Blake Jenner) navigates his first weekend of big school.

2. Richard Linklater follows the monumentally overrated Boyhood (2014) with this “spiritual sequel” to Dazed and Confused (1993).

3.
More like a spiritual sequel to Porky’s (1982).

4.
It’s safe to say that this one won’t be bothering the Oscars.

5. Linklater almost makes Kevin Smith look sophisticated. Almost.

6. Broadsheet prognosis: None for me thanks.

Release Date: May 13.

neon-demon

What you may need to know:

1.
A young woman’s (Elle Fanning) youth and vitality is devoured by the modelling industry in Los Angeles.

2.
Hipster Dalai LamaNicolas Winding Refn returns from the critical drubbing of Only God Forgives (2013)

3. The Neon Demon will premiere at Cannes in May. It’s Refn’s third consecutive movie screened in competition.

4.
This looks like another exercise in style over substance.

5.
Broadsheet prognosis: Blacker Swan.

Release Date: July 8.

Peaky Blinders 3

What you may need to know:

1.
Oh yes. The Shelby brand goes global.

2. Series 3 opens with Tommy’s wedding. But is the blushing bride Horsey May Carleton (Charlotte Riley) or Grace “will I stand up on a chair and sing a song for you, Tommy” Burgess (Annabelle Wallis)??

3.
Tom Hardy returns as psycho Alfie Solomons and Paddy Considine debuts as the Blinders’ new nemesis, a dodgy priest (fancy that).

4. Major Campbell (Sam Neill) is surely a goner. To be shot once is unfortunate etc..

5. Quite simply, Peaky Blinders is one of the best things on TV. If you’re not on board yet then Series 1 & 2 are on Netflix.

6. Broadsheet prognosis: Take a little walk

Release Date: May (BBC).

279287

What you may need to know:

1. When a mad scientist threatens New York, a group of mutated turtles and a talking rat emerge from the shadows to protect their home.

2. You know, for kids.

3. They can’t all be winners.

4.
Back in 1987, the first animated series was produced in Dublin by Jimmy Murakami.

5. Of course they were “hero turtles” back then. It was assumed that the word “ninja” would result in kids killing each other with nunchucks and katanas.

6.
Broadsheet prognosis: Leonardon’t.

Release Date: June 3.

david-brent-1

What you may need to know:

1.
I just… Nope, I just can’t.

2. Has anyone ever done so much with so little as Ricky Gervais? Piers Morgan, perhaps. Or James Corden.

3. There’s an album on the way too. Comedy gold.

4.
The Office wasn’t funny if you happened to work in one.

5. Don’t feed him and he’ll just go away. Until the next Golden Globes.

6.
This is what will become of Leather Jacket Guy in 5 to 10 years’ time. Take heart.

7.
Broadsheet prognosis: A cold, hard look into the empty soul of Ricky Gervais.

Release Date:
August 19.

Rogue One(1)

What you may need to know:

1. Gareth Edwards directs the first “in between” Star Wars anthology movie.

2. A group of rebels steal the plans to the Death Star while the builders are still snagging.

3. Altogether now: “It’s a small thermal exhaust port right below the main port.”

4. Many Bothans didn’t die to bring us this information. That was the second Death Star.

5. It is Mon Mothma (Genevieve O’Reilly) in the trailer, though. And Ben Mendelsohn looking very Grand Moff Tarkin-ish.

6. Disney have done very well with the property so far. But I’m not digging any of the names in contention for the Phil Lord/Christopher Miller Han Solo movie.

7. Broadsheet prognosis: That’s no moon…

Release Date: December 16.

Meanwhile…

Kgu0zek

Rapscallion writes:

Spoilers: 1st poster for Kingsman The Golden Circle (2017)

Swiss Army Man

What you may need to know:

1. An island castaway (Paul Dano) finds a flatulent, multi-functional corpse (Daniel Radcliffe) and uses it to escape.

2. Yes, really.

3. All credit to Radcliffe for picking interesting post-Potter roles, but what the what?

4. This really split audiences when it premiered at Sundance this year. There were plenty of walk-outs, but it went on to win the directing award.

5. Go Hasselhoff!

6. Broadsheet prognosis: Weekend at Bernie’s III.

Release Date:
June 17.