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‘Twas the night before Xmas
And all through the Broadsheet site
ABM was bah humbug
Along with the rest of the far right
Bodger had his stockings hanging
Moynes playing Wham on loop
Clampers was buying Pampers
Whilst shopping with Spaghetti Hoop
Scottser had put the kids to bed
And sat down by the fire
Don had wrapped all the presents
And wished for her Xmas desire
All of a sudden the site crashed
There was no access
Was it a DDoS?
that left the site in a mess?
Moynes jumped in anger
And let out a roar
There stood DOB’s solicitors
Three of them at the door
They exclaimed at poor Moynes
‘We can assure we will sue’
Everything seem fruitless
What could BS do?
The threat seemed real
And a horrible stinker
They got straight on the phone
To Legal Coffee Drinker
A letter was forthcoming
As they did up a reply
They figured to themselves
‘This we shall enjoy’
“DOB you have been bad,
Scaring everyone on your list
I’m sure Santa is looking at you
And feels very pissed
Your legal threats are nothing
Santa is bringing you coal
And take your legal threats
And ram them up your hole”
Broadsheet will be open all next week operating a lighter schedule. Happy Xmas all.
What a year!
Said very few people.
‘sheet movie critic Mark Ryall’s favourite and least favourite moments of drama on screens both big and small this year.
Best Movie: Birdman
Michael Keaton runs through Times Square in his pants, and his career gets a well-deserved boost. Yes, Birdman was released in 2015 (Waaay back on the 1st of January in fact). Alejandro G. Iñárritu’s one-take meta-textual dramedy was hilarious, creative and wholly original. Amongst all the sequels, prequels, reboots and retcons, Birdman was a reminder that mainstream film still has the potential to give us something fresh.
Best TV Show: Fargo Season 2
Because The Leftovers was just too damn bleak. Yah sure Fargo’s first season was real good there, but season 2 went back to the 1970s and upped the ante. With a little Bruce Campbell and a lot of Minnesotan weirdness, Fargo was shocking, funny (often at the same time) and thoroughly brilliant. You betcha.
Best Documentary: The Queen of Ireland
Long live the Queen! Conor Horgan’s documentary is as much a snapshot of Irish society in 2015 as it is the story of a drag queen from Ballinrobe. Chin up, it could be worse.
Honourable Mention: Cartel Land – Savage, brutal and utterly compelling. Cartel Land is no fun, but it’s essential viewing.
Daniel Day–Lewis in My Left Foot is the obvious comparison, but for my money, you’d have to go back to John Hurt’s Elephant Man to find a better physical performance. A tough gig bagged Redmayne the Oscar, and deservedly so.
Honourable Mention: Bertie Ahern (The Banking Inquiry) – I believe I can fly etc.
Blanchett’s effortlessly elegant turn in Todd Haynes’ homage to old school Hollywood hit every note on the emotional spectrum. From the giddy excitement of first love to the melancholy of heartbreak, Blanchett was profoundly affecting throughout.
Worst Movie: Love
“I hear you’re a pornographer now, Father.” If Terry Richardson made a movie, it would be Love. The competition was fierce (I’m looking at you, Entourage), but Gaspar Noé’s meditation on “sexual sentimentality” blew the rest away. I would assume that at least half of the production budget went on class A drugs, which might account for a seven-page script. Exhausting and unrelentingly foul. And can you imagine the stink on that set?
Dishonourable Mention: Ted 2 – Like the first one, just without the jokes.
Worst TV Show: True Detective Season 2
Sure, Orange is the New Black was a real chore this year, but True Detective 2 was the biggest anti-climax since the millennium bug. Despite Colin Farrell’s best efforts, nothing could save this mess of miscast actors, clunky dialogue and an underwhelming story.
Dishonourable Mention: Broadchurch 2 – Pointless, unnecessary, and oh so boring.
Yesterday: ‘Damn near Perfect’
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everyone’s a critic) forcing us to manually remove them from the ‘junk folder, before posting. Hence the strange comment delay you may have been experiencing. It is a WordPress issue and with their ‘kind’ support (Karl’s away) we are close to finding a solution. Thanks for your patience. We are very sorry.
The Micheal Tea Cosy by reader Virginia Costello;
We are five today and would like to thank all broadsheet commenters/contributors past and present.
Some birthday messages:
“I like that you introduced me to Poorly Drawn Lines (which I continually call Badly Drawn Lines). How you keep issues like the Fr Niall Molloy death in peoples’ minds. How you fought for Kate against the might of the Communication Clinic. For making the acquaintance of some funny commenters, who’s real names and faces I’ve never seen. And Mani. And the rest. They’re just a few reasons Broadsheet is worth the bandwidth alone (or works bandwidth, heh) And for feeding my ego and putting my occasional photos online. Thanks lads and lassies.”
“I’m not sure when I first ventured over to Broadsheet, but I think it was after it being linked from the basket case that is Politics.ie. Gradually it became my most visited website/app. I’ve viewed the past 3-odd years through its prism, valuing its idiosyncratic approach to the broader news agenda and important coverage of issues ignored or given short shrift elsewhere. This would be nothing without the irreverent humour, posts chosen specifically to angry up the readers, and, of course, the comment section.”
“Every morning the three sites I check are my Outlook webmail, Facebook and Broadsheet. Only then can I start work emails.”
“Five years of the ‘Sheet? Bloody hell!
Fair play to you all, you’ve done well.
Despite some posters’ snark
Being quite wide of the mark,
And a waste of good HTML.”
We would like acknowledge with a large tay the following for ‘above the fold’ help.
Nat King Coleslaw, Sue Phillips, Oisín Kane, Sibling of Daedalus, Not Pancho, Aaron McAllorum, Simon Judge, Chris Judge, Legal Coffee Drinker, Edel O’Connell, Lars Biscuits, Sarah Leahy, Lillie Leahy, Emily O’Callaghan, Olga Cronin, Luke ‘Ming’ Flanagan, Michael McDermott, Ciaran Walsh, Tom and Sally Fitzgerald; Exchequer Street Boy (James Kavanagh); John Moynes, Sheila Larkin, John Wilson, Gemma O’Doherty, Maurice McCabe, Gavin Sheridan, William Maher, Ken Foxe, Karl Monaghan, Dan Boyle, Anne Marie McNally, Catherine Murphy, Simon McGarr, Alan Newman, Derek O’Connor, Mark Ryall, Tom ‘Dylan’ Dillon, James M Chimney, Aidan Coughlan, Annie West, Eoin Purcell, Elaine Herbert, Aongus Collins, Eamon Delaney, Sinéad Keogh, Lynn Donovan, Louise Roe, Aware, Gareth MacNamee, Anne-Louise Foley, Gary Fitzgibbon, Pamela McCarthy, Mark Tighe, Miriam Cotton, Kevin Cramer, Dermot Ahern, Meliosa Fitzgibbon, Geoff McGrath, Padraig Glynn, Sinead Ryan, Joanne Byrne, Mick Flavin, John Gallen, Aran Brazil, Paul Murphy, Enda Bolger, Colin McGann, Séamus Kiernan, Mark Henderson, Eamon Farrell, Sam Boal, Sasko Lazarov, Elaine Bradley, Mick Wallace, Clare Daly, Dr Tom Clonan, Tom Dillon, Neil Michael, Darragh Doyle, Julien Mercille, Anna Christofides, David Cichon, Conor O’Neill, Barry Hartigan, Buzz O’Neill, Miss Panti, Paula Geraghty, Oireachtas Retort, the people at Hosting Ireland, Justine McCarthy, Gavin Titley, David Norris, Conor Cusack, Mark Kelly, Joan Fitzpatrick, Sam Fitzpatrick, Fat Frog (Gaza), Mark Geary (Australia), Reppy [New Zealand] and our beloved commenters, the Broadsheet Massive. Apologies if we’ve left anyone out.
Earlier: Broadsheet Comment Section Bingo
Next week, Broadsheet celebrates five years in operation.
We are looking for YOU to share YOUR (brief) thoughts on the tumultuous and fairly gnarly last half decade both here (and ‘abroad’)….All political/religious persuasions welcome.Those words will then appear in a special post (accompanied by striking artwork) on the day itself (Tuesday, July 28).
Please send pithy 2010-2015 observations marked ‘Five Years‘ to firstname.lastname@example.org. Thank you very much.