The heart of St Laurence O’Toole was stolen from Christ Church Cathedral in 2012
Was stealing this old body part
A bold act of Dadaist art?
Now after six years
There’ll be clapping and cheers
As St Laud’s Chapel gets back its heart
We’d recognise that firm set of the jaw anywhere.
Pro-choice Limericks Laureate John Moynes (top) and comic Tara Flynn are featured in this occasionally patronising report (above) from Ireland on the Eighth Amendment by The Jim Jefferies Show.
Come for the glimpse of Moynes (0.60 sec).
Pop on the kettle during the lazy stereotyping throughout (leprechauns, hooch, etc).
Stay for the “casual abortions” (starts 5 mins).
Earlier: John Moynes: A Limerick A Day
Billionaire John Magnier (top) and his Amedeo Modigliani nude (above) valued at $150m
John Magnier, who’s known to be shrewd
Once purchased a well painted nude
Now it’s back up on sale
And he’ll have a whale
Of a time with the cash he’s accrued
Irish Water propose to pump 300 million litres of water daily from the River Shannon at Parteen Basin (above) to meet the future water demands of the Greater Dublin area
Irish Water have said that it’s best
That they build a big pipe to the west
It’s worth it, they think
To let Dublin drink
But the locals are far from impressed
Graph: Irish Water
How to talk to your kids about sex?
That’s a problem that’s bound to perplex
But don’t worry, it’s fine
They’ll just go online
And get sucked into porn’s dark vortex
Pic: The WP Wire
Anita Sethi (right) was told by BritaIn’s Prince Charles she didn’t look like she came from Manchester
Charles thinks that you shouldn’t be brown
If you come from Manchester town
Which is racist and sad
And just like his dad
The bigoted miserable clown
Pic via The Guardian
A selection of British-grown ‘pulses’, dried legume seeds including lentils, chickpeas, beans and peas
We all know it’s high time to start
Eating food that is good for one’s heart
And beans with each meal
Will soon make you feel
Fantastic. (You may also fart.)
Pic: The Guardian
Cuba’s vice president Miguel Diaz-Canel is expected to be named as successor to Raul Castro
Will change come to Havana town
As the last of the Castros steps down?
Well his right hand man
Will continue the plan
So there’s no need for comrades to frown.
In China it’s sad but it’s true
That there’s not always somewhere to poo
But their friends in Japan
Have come up with a plan
To build jacks that are shiny and new
This country can be hard to beat
On the rare times we get some nice heat
Just two days of storm
Before it gets warm
And then everyone’s in for a treat
Pic via Met Eireann