Mince on toast, declared a ‘quintessential British food classic’
We all know our neighbours can boast
Some tasty treats to put on toast
They’ll pour beans and say please
To mountains of cheese
But mince is the thing they like most.
Loyalists in Belfast defy ruling by adding to their Eleventh Night bonfire preparations
If you’re in the six counties tonight
You might catch a heartwarming sight
When our friends in Belfast
Show their love of the past
By setting the whole place alight.
Stephen Tighe, injured during the Pamplona bull run
A fellow called Stephen from Naas
Took a trip to a faraway place
Unbeknownst to his wife
He risked his own life
And got gored by a bull in a race.
Pic: Diario de Noticias
A strain of untreatable clap
Is putting its name on the map
So it’s all for the best
To have a quick test
Before sitting down on a lap.
This morning I’m forced to be blunt
About Met Éireann’s cheap tacky stunt
Someone was aghast
When the weather forecast
Showed signs of a rather warm front
Minister for Foreign Affairs Simon Coveney
When Simon expects you to fly
Get flying, and I’ll tell you why
Quite soon you will find
The fog’s all in your mind
And there’s no chance at all that you’ll die.
US president Donald Trump and North Korea South Kim Jong-un
Old Trump didn’t know what to do
When Kim’s latest test missile flew
So he begged the Chinese
To sort it out please
He’s such a strong leader. It’s true.
If you’re on of the many who like
To head into town on a bike
You may want to know
The plans for traffic flow
Contain things you’re bound to dislike.
Northern Ireland Secretary James Brokenshire (left) and Irish Foreign Minister Simon Coveney following the breakdown of assembly talks yesterday
A deadline’s a deadline and so
It’s time for the North’s talks to go
On once again
And on, and on, then
Will they reach an agreement? Well, no.
If you’re planning to go and see Ed
There’s something that needs to be said
He’s the reason why
Hotel prices are high
So be sure to save up for a bed.