Leaving cert pupils from Trinity comprehensive school, Ballymun, Dublin 9 last week
The Leaving Cert
Your Leaving Cert results will not be etched on your grave.
So, if you end up with more Es than a nineties rave,
Don’t worry, it will be okay
Have you ever heard a eulogy that begins,
“That A he got in Geography was the making of him?”
The Leaving Cert is not nothing,
but it also isn’t everything.
And right now, if you don’t feel like a winner,
Remember, one day this too in time will pass,
like Donald Trump and fidget spinners.
Your success in life might hinge
on things you were not taught
Like dealing with your feelings
and sitting down to talk
(Because problems are like dogs
they will rip the shit out of your insides
if you don’t let them out for a walk.)
Build a life with someone
who will one day kiss your old, saggy arse,
and grade your farts
like an Olympic gymnastics judge
Like, “good one, that was a 4.6, my love.”
Do not accept anything less.
Bad love is a lot worse the than being by yourself.
DO NOT TEXT YOUR EX!
And only have sex with people
who make your crotch go, “Rawr”
And later in life, who know CPR.
Being good at school in Ireland
means you were good at learning by rote,
But being good at life is about
your family, your friends and your vote.
And you don’t need a degree to know
that just because your TD wears a nice suit
doesn’t mean he isn’t a total scrote.
If you care about people,
don’t vote for some eejit
just cos he fixed a hole in your road.
Your age, your weight, your salary,
the cost of your home
How many likes and shares you receive
on your silly Facebook poem
We let these numbers define us
And it feels like they matter a lot
So, it might seem like the end of the world right now,
But I promise you,
You are worth more than the points that you got.