You may recall a post entitled No More Superman from last year – on September 10, 2013 – in which Adam wrote about the aftermath of his suicide attempt.
Last night, he wrote:
So it’s a year to the day that I wrote this. I’m still here. Things got worse, a fair bit worse actually but then so much better. Better in a way that I wouldn’t have been able to comprehend a year ago.
It wasn’t until I saw this post that I realised its a year since I tried to take my own life. It scares the hell out of me to even type that today. I’ve not been able to bring myself to read the post I wrote.
To anyone who is where I was, so low, alone and desperate for the pain to stop. Step one is to say I need help. That’s not the solution, then comes a lot of fighting for the help you need. Which is beyond hard when you’re not sure you even want help.
I’ve a new job, some new friends, and some brave old ones (who I owe my life to), there’s even the possibility of romance (although very early days, we haven’t even kissed yet). In other words I’m living.
For the first time in 28 years, I’m ok. I’m not singing every day, but I’m not crying everyday either. Life is mundane and manageable today, which feels like all kinds of wonderful compared to last year.
For me the solution was medication and therapy; I’m starting to come off the medication now, therapy will go on for a bit yet. This was my solution. My message is simple – find yours! We need you, think about those people coming after you who might be going through the same pain – who’s going to speak up for them if you don’t!? It can’t be me, I’m busy trying to reach out to you.
Take a deep breath, pick up the phone and tell someone.