This morning. (5.30am)

Wilton, Cork city.

Diarmuid McCarthy writes:

Comical scenes this morning, three drunks get car stuck in public lawn, main drunk is in his 50’s + 2 youths. Dig car deep into grass down to the body. Decide best course of action is to empty my rubbish bin all around the tyres to get traction. Rubbish is spun all over the place. Cars are destroyed with dirt and rubbish. They then try to break into neighbor’s car.

Guards come and the two youths scamper. Old lad is too drunk to run. Guards start telling them that his car will be repossessed if the others don’t come back. Starts shouting their names to come back or his car will be taken. Tells the guards ‘That’s awful bad form if they don’t come back’.

Guards leave with yer man and other two still on the loose. I go out to clean the rubbish and start taking photos of the car. Two young fella turn up and start taking selfies by the car. Totally oblivious I am five yards away on the phone to the guards.

Guards ask the aul lad who owns the car or did they steal it, he says he does. They ask was he driving, he says no. They ask how the car got on the lawn. He says he drove it there.

Guards come and pick the other two lads up. All in all not a bad way to start a Wednesday morning. Smell of rubber is unreal around the place though….