“He Said The Professor Licks Himself Every Night”


ph prof

You may have missed this.

Curdled former YFG-er Deputy Brian Hayes brought his frankly freaky sexual ‘banter’ to bear on the Upper House last week.

Making the unelected ones look like statesmen.

Senator John Crown: “Fáilte a Aire. It is nice to see the Minister of State, Deputy Hayes, again, as we spent some pleasant time here the other day. I stated that somebody should really get video camera footage of the ministerial chair during the various stages of the Seanad Abolition Bill debate. We could make a really interesting pictorial calendar for 2014 of stills featuring the various faces that appeared.”

Senator David Norris: “Some of them of the same Minister.”

Crown: “I am not given to procedural wrangling. I come from a discipline, a day job, which prides itself in being of a rather practical bent, so from time to time I have been somewhat impatient with people using the procedures of the House apparently to delay matters or introduce issues not immediately germane or relevant to the item under discussion. There is a certain sense of getting our own back on this with regard to procedure. I would be grateful for the attention of the Minister of State and the Leader of the House. The manner in which this has been conducted by those who are proponents not really of putting the question to the people but rather of abolition of the House has been procedurally suspect. The arguments are well travelled and versed but they are nonetheless valid and bear some brief repetition.”

An Cathaoirleach: “Please continue Senator Crown.”

Crown: “I beg your pardon.”

Deputy Brian Hayes: “You lick yourself every night before you go to bed.”

Crown: “The word “prat” suggests itself sometimes.”

Norris: “Will the Minister of State make that remark more loudly?”

Senator Mark Daly:”He said the professor licks himself every night..”

Hayes: “I am saying..”

Daly: “..before he goes to bed.”

Hayes: “..in this House that you are talking to yourselves most of the time.”

An Cathaoirleach: “Senator Crown..”

Norris: “I beg your pardon. We are talking to ourselves, are we?”

Hayes: “You are talking to yourselves, yes.”

An Cathaoirleach: “Senator Crown, without interruption.”

Norris: “I think the Minister of State should withdraw that remark.”

An Cathaoirleach: “Senator Crown, without interruption.”

Norris: “We are talking to you Minister of State.”

An Cathaoirleach: “Senator Crown, without interruption.”

Norris:” No, I am sorry. The Minister of State says we are talking to ourselves and there is no reason to be here. Could the Cathaoirleach reprimand him on our behalf and ask him to withdraw the remark? It is outrageous.”

An Cathaoirleach: “Senator Crown, without interruption.”

Norris: “Will the Cathaoirleach not ask him to withdraw the remark “We are talking to ourselves”?

Hayes: “Sanctimonious crap.”

An Cathaoirleach: Senator Crown, without interruption.

Norris: “I am sorry but I ask you, a Chathaoirlaigh, to ask the Minister of State to withdraw that remark, which is an insult to Seanad Éireann. Will you do that?”

An Cathaoirleach: “I did not hear what he said.”

Norris: “You did. I will tell you what he said.”

Hayes: “You insulted me. I have no regard for you.”

Norris:”He said there was no need for him to be here and we are talking to ourselves.”

Hayes: “You were insulting me the whole evening.”

An Cathaoirleach: The record will show..”

Norris: “I never said a word about you.”

Hayes: “All evening, with your nonsense.”

An Cathaoirleach: “Senator Crown, without interruption.”

Crown: “Let us just hit the reset button. I am sorry but I would like to treat the Minister of State, this House, the Dáil and the process of Government with respect. I do not consider myself a politician but somebody with a real day job. I am somebody who because of the spirit of our original Constitution has found himself with the opportunity to take a position of advocacy, which I have done outside the House for many years, into the halls of our Oireachtas, as intended in the 1937 Constitution. I am sorry if I am not perhaps wise to the ways of politics and I beg the Minister of State’s indulgence in that respect.

Hayes: “But you are.”

Crown:” I believe that the way this problem has been tackled from the pro-abolitionist side has been unsatisfactory and it looks unsatisfactory. In the first instance, there were a number of amendments on Committee Stage that were never heard. I will gladly yield to the Minister of State if he wishes to make a point.”

Hayes: “I said there were ten hours during the debate when all of those issues could have been dealt with properly without the filibuster that occurred. The Senator knows that well, to be honest.”

An Cathaoirleach: “Senator Crown, without interruption.”

Hayes: “With respect, at least be honest and admit that.”

An Cathaoirleach: “Senator Crown, without interruption.”

Hayes: “The Senator knows that to be true.”

Senator Mary M. White: “He is being disrespectful by being on his iPad. It is the same as being on the telephone.”

An Cathaoirleach: “Senator Crown, without interruption.”

Crown: “I would like to yield the rest of my time. Thank you very much.”

Minister Hayes’s uninterested and unprofessional attendance at the Seanad (ProfJohnCrown.com)

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