32 thoughts on “Greatest Broadsheet Clickbait Posts That (Never) Were (Part 18)

  1. Mani

    Tremendous.

    Now, can we have one of the Prophet Mohammed peace be upon him giving out about being charged 8 euros for a cidona in temple bar? Especially given they should be incentivising designated drivers.

  2. Zuppy International

    Kudos to the gatekeepers:

    “Of course anybody who points this out is immediately dismissed as a crazy. paranoid, conspiracy freak which […] is just another tactic to spread fear and keep everybody within the herd and singing off the same hymn sheet. Anybody who doesn’t must be ostracised and shunned, or at the very least relentlessly attacked with baseless ad hominems so that others will be wary of deviating too much from the “official story”.

    1. Mani

      Mentally stunted morons who latch on to conspiracy theories like milk from their mothers tit in order to somehow seem more intelligent (as they have the inside scoop, and everyone else are just dumb sheep, man) and validate themselves deserve as much ire and mockery as the so-called shadowy machines they purport to rage against.

  3. Gers

    “Human curiosity, the urge to know, is a powerful force and is perhaps the best secret weapon of all in the struggle to unravel the workings of the natural world.” Aaron Klug

    Im with you Zuppy, never stop questioning and wondering. Dont be sheep, dont be wolf, be the curious, clever fox!

        1. LiamZero

          You do realise that when people are shot in the head in movies, that’s exaggerated, right? Like the way cars that crash rarely if ever explode into massive fireballs in real life?
          Just because something doesn’t conform to what you think you know doesn’t mean it’s not real. It just means you don’t know as much as you think you do.

          1. LiamZero

            And yes, I realise I’m probably addressing someone here who is likely a username, as with “ABM”, used by the Broadsheet team to spark incredulous replies and up the page clicks.
            (How’s THAT for a conspiracy theory?!)

          2. Zuppy International

            So in the real world guns have no recoil, bullets kill without impact and dead bodies can roll over?

          3. LiamZero

            So the minute a bullet enters the head, the body dies? Again, you’ve been watching too many Hollywood movies, Zuppy old chum. Or perhaps you’re annoyed because the body didn’t start flashing and then disappear, like it would in a computer game?
            As for the recoil, in a gun of that type, the recoil is minimal. And depending on what part of the head was hit, the impact may have been difficult to spot from that angle and video quality. Like I said, you likely don’t know as much as you think you do.
            Or, you know, the Mossad Bilderburg Masons CIA did it to try and fool you, Zup.

          4. Zuppy International

            No recoil from an ak47? Youtube begs to differ with you:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2-uyhyJ1LQ&t=26s

            And if a bullet did hit the head I would expect Newton’s laws of physics to apply where every action has a equal and opposite reaction: ie the head should be immediately forced to the ground by the energy of the projectile exiting the gun.

            Also if the body isn’t dead from the bullet then why no physical reaction to the trauma of being shot: spasms, screaming pain, etc.? Instead the actor on the ground continues to roll over as if nothing happened.

            Besides, the only conspiracy theory I can can see here is the one being pushed in the mainstream media (and supported by you) which claims that a bunch of disgruntled Muslims – angered by a Tweet (?) – got tooled up and shot a bunch of cartoonists in the centre of Paris. That’s the actual crazy theory going around but I’m afraid the facts don’t match the theory in any way.

            You’ve make a brave attempt there LiamZero but your analysis doesn’t add up. The words “straws”, “clutching”, “at” spring to mind.

            Better luck next Psyop.

          5. LiamZero

            I had to look up “psyop” I’m afraid, and I’m flattered that you think some sinister organisation would employ me to wage psychological warfare on the world at large, via comment sections on little Irish websites like Broadsheet. I’d love that job actually, sounds like being paid to troll morons.
            Anyway, back to reality, the fact you even accuse me of being part of this malevolent system makes everything else you allege pretty much redundant. Because I know I’m an ordinary Joe sitting in my living room right now replying to you for some reason, that is the sad truth. And thus, when you voice all those other wild theories, I know they’re coming from someone who thinks I’m a “psyop”. And so I can discount those theories as utterly deluded, because you even see me as being on the payroll of The Evil Ones.
            I don’t agree with Mani above, you’re not some complete lunatic, I’d say you’re just a scared and bewildered individual struggling to make sense of a world you cannot understand, and so I feel a bit sorry for you.
            Or else, as I said earlier, you’re a Broadsheet staffer, in which case I feel a bit sorry for you.

          6. Zuppy International

            Geez LiamZero, calm down for a moment. Where did I accuse you of being part of some sinister organization? All I wrote was that you supported the conspiracy theory being propagated by the mainstream media that disgruntled Muslims shot some French cartoonists, a theory that comes with acres of hearsay but no actual facts or verifiable evidence. If that’s not the case then I’ll be happy to accept your clarification.

            I have no idea who employs you or for what purpose, nor do I care.

            No need to feel sorry for me either. In general I’m a pretty happy camper living my life secure in the knowledge that “terrorism”, like the “war on drugs” is a false narrative, one that I reject completely. If you want to buy into these absurd stories about armed madman roaming then streets then I guess that’s your prerogative.

            Have a good evening for yourself.

          7. LiamZero

            Terrorism is a false narrative. Right so.
            Well have a nice evening yourself. I still feel sorry for you, but if you’re happy with your inability to accept the sad realities of the world then I guess that’s something. (Wink wink, Bodger!)

        1. Rob_G

          You suffer from paranoid delusions, and ascribe outside agency to trivial coincidences that require no such agency.

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