Last Minute Gift

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Thud.

Cliodhna writes:

charming letter posted in my colleague’s postbox this morning….

Via Niall O’Keeffe

61 thoughts on “Last Minute Gift

  1. Weedless

    Aww. Nice to see gay parents will keep up the traditions, like telling their kids Santa is real.

    1. well

      It’s a good inoculation against religion. When they finally find out it wasn’t real. makes kids think.

      1. Weedless

        I worked with a guy once whose, really quite religious, parents never did the Santa thing because they were afraid if they lied to him about that he might question whether they lied about God too. At the time I knew him he had given up on religion anyway and had a childhood of s***e Christmas memories too.

      2. rotide

        LITERALLY the first words out of my mouth when i was told about santa was “is god real?”

        I was lied to about that as well :(

    2. JimmytheHead

      Wait, santa doesnt exist? A bearded man who flies thru the clouds and is used by parents to scare kids into being good? A man who will punish bad kids on judgement day (Christmas morning) with coal for the fire and reward good/christian kids?

      Sounds familiar

          1. Owen C

            How are kids being punished with a bag of coal? Sure they’re always going on about how expensive it is to heat a house here on Broadsheet…

  2. well

    to be fair those bully kids will still be bullying pricks either way. blame the bullies parents.

    1. John E. Bravo

      Won’t someone think of the children – the children are horrible – we need to protect the children from the children.

  3. Fluter Bad

    Does a commisioned kid have a right to a mam or a dad should not be a question as to how people vote tomorrow, but it will have a bearing.

    1. Randomer

      Fictitious gay dads? Bigoted fools with poor understanding of grammar?

      Either way I hope Santa leaves a big turd in the real authors stocking the year and leaves poor make believe Jim alone.

  4. Cup of tea anyone?

    That is very different to the letters that will be written in the next 10 years if the No vote goes through.
    Dear Santa
    I am a girl and I like other girls. I am told by my teachers, my priest my parents and the other children at school that this is a terrible thing. They make fun of me and tell me to go to sleep and that I might wake up normal in the morning. They remind me that the country voted that it was wrong for people like me to have tha same rights and so thay are free to bully me.
    Please santa will you make me normal.

    1. figleaf

      I used to catch a dandelion seed in both hands and whisper ‘please make me a boy’ because as a little girl I knew I liked girls in a ‘weird way’ and life would be so much easier all round if I could just be a boy.
      I didn’t know what gay was until I was about 15 yrs old (no internet) and my mind was blown. But then I saw it was dirty, weird and not to be talked about.

      The dandelion trick never worked, I’m with my gal 14 years and don’t want to be a boy anymore.
      Except perhaps for a fleeting thought once a month.

      1. Mike

        Who hurt you so badly that you want to inflict pain like this on others? Does it make you happy?

  5. Caroline

    Dear Santa,

    The other kids at school laugh at me even though I’m perfectly happy. Please Santa, can you fix it so they stop laughing at me. Nothing too bad, just a bit of a fright like. Maybe put one of their parents in a wheelchair for six months or something. That’s just an example, I’ll leave the details up to you.

    Best wishes,

    Jim

  6. Birneybau2

    Their own worst enemies to be honest.

    How anyone can vote no after all this tripe…

  7. Nially

    Yes, because all gay couples with kids will insist on their kids calling one of them “mammy” and one of them “daddy”, for sure. That’s how it works. Definitely.

  8. Clampers Outside!

    *steps out of church*

    Priest – What were you doing in there?

    Praying all the no voters will be impotent come Saturday.
    And then I had to ask for forgiveness for wishing ill on others. And fornicating. I was. I was yeah. You got me. Will we go back in? And how’s your morning going Father?

  9. Murtles

    Dear Jim
    I make toys not women. What? Are you implying I am a people trafficker? So you get everything you ask for but are still a whinging little git. Be more appreciative of your Fathers and man the hell up there Jim. Why not aim a swift kick to the scrote of them bullies, that’ll learn them otherwise you’ll end up like your Aunty Frank.
    Santa

  10. pedeyw

    My brother called everyone Daddy for the first few months of his vocal life. So I guess that’s how you can call a man Mammy.

  11. Gary

    Thats just awful – They should be ashamed of themselves using imaginary kids to push the No vote – Get a grip – VOTE YES!!!

Comments are closed.