Not A Bog Standard Machine

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Mystery-Bike-Graphic_1_large

Niall writes:

This is a bit of  weird one, but my misses found a bicycle in town and took it home a few weeks ago. It is clearly someone’s pride and joy and not a bog standard machine by any means. It was found outside the Dublin Conservative Club, with a lock wrapped around the handlebars but it was not locked to anything. We asked around on the night and have  since tried Facebook and Twitter to no avail and it is now clogging up our already clogged hallway. We would love to get in touch with the rightful and possibly heartbroken owner, who will be able to give me a really accurate description as like I said, this is not a common or garden bike.

Anyone?

Detailed descriptions of the mystery bike to broadsheet@broadsheet.ie, which we’ll pass on to Niall.

(image: Sole Bicycles)

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27 thoughts on “Not A Bog Standard Machine

  1. Nilbert

    “my misses found a bicycle in town and took it home a few weeks ago.”
    Maybe its time to give Lionel Hutz a call.

  2. Niamh

    Yes you are missing something. It says they have been trying to locate the owner through facebook and twitter.

  3. noncanonicalpokemon

    direct quote from above: “We asked around on the night and have since tried Facebook and Twitter to no avail”

  4. Hank

    So your missus was in town a couple of weeks ago and she stole an unlocked bike?
    Well, at least you’re finally coming clean about it..

    1. Odis

      Is this the start of some new Broadsheet SJW campaign? Bike thieves are people too?
      Misunderstood and living on the edges of society, they’re victims as well?

  5. Mr. T.

    Hmm. If I saw a bike unlocked, I would assume it was left there by the owner, unlocked.

    Is this like the incidents of dogs being ‘found’ on the street which were actually just out for their daily perambulation and butt sniffing?

  6. follow me, silently

    My bike was stolen in town 3 weeks ago.
    Does it have Kellogg’s spoke reflectors and two Hulk Hogan stickers on it? There’s also EU Skum scratched into the crossbar.

  7. Coilin MacLochlainn

    You don’t give any details about where your wife found the bike, and you don’t provide a photo of it. So your supposed act of kindness and decency is wasted on the Broadsheet audience, who are not…well, not all…totally stupid.

    Unless, of course, your intention was to keep the bike and try to give the impression that you were honest and tried hard to find the owner in the first place? Oh no…ha, ha, ha! Of course not! Sure why would I think that…ha, ha, ha…God you’re funny, you! Of course you’re going to hand back the bike you stole, sure isn’t that what you intended all along…ha, ha, ha! Sure you’re havin us all on you muggins! Ha, ha, ha…. How much do you want for it?

  8. Gavin

    Seriously, what kind of freaks are on here that they see this as anything more than someone trying to return a bike.

    1. Squarehead

      Yes, It’s someone trying to return a bike that they should never have taken in the first place. wtf just leave the bike where presumably the owner left it and go on with your day ya clown

      1. Lisa

        Very weird behaviour. Your hall must be clogged with a lorra lorra stuff if this is s/thing you do.

  9. Tom Stewart

    Solution (for this problem in the future): leave the fupping bike where you fupping well found it.

    Solved.

  10. Everybody in Ireland

    Would you not give it to the Gardaí in case the person reports it missing?

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