amyschumer

Amy Schumer as she appears in the 2016 Pirelli Calendar

A calendar known for its pics,
Of glamorous, half naked chicks,
Has raised feminist cheer,
By choosing this year,
A more tasteful, respectable mix.

John Moynes

Pic: Annie Leibovitz

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50 thoughts on “A Limerick A Day

  1. Punches Pilot

    I’d prepare my CV if I was head of design for the 2016 calendar. Not exactly target audience stuff. Amazing how these things can sound good over a coffee with New York skyline view. Cut back to an industrial estate and a forklift truck tyre fitter touching himself in the worlds worst toilet. Yeah I’d start handing out those CVs now :-)

    1. Clampers Outside!

      You appear to think wanking is a bad thing.

      That’s perplexing.

      Yoko Ono is in this one by the way, so I’m sure there’ll be no nothing to worry about in the onan arena.

    2. Caroline

      Unless our blue-collar toilet masturbator is also head of purchasing (I don’t rule it out) then they’re probably not the target audience. The point of the calendar was never to ensure the timely and regular emission of working Joe’s semen – noble a pursuit as that may be – the point was to promote Pirelli as a brand. And of course, nothing says “brand successfully promoted” like a Moynes’ limerick.

    3. Nigel

      You should just fire anyone for failing to achieve your desired standard of female beauty. Maybe give them burquas,

  2. Lordblessusandsaveus

    So feminists are cheering the fact that chubby chicks are included in their calendar?

          1. manolo

            Don’t mind them Clampers. Most believe that beauty involves an inner thigh gap that fits a tennis ball. Little do they know about the greatness a love handles.

      1. han solo's carbonite dream

        it mighnt be a shocker but it isn’t self pleasuring material which i assumed (maybe wrongly) was the purpose of said publication.

        1. Dόn Pídgéόní

          Wank material is setting you up for a massive disappointment if you ever get to have sex with a real life woman

          1. Tucker Done

            People who find fit, healthy people attractive should definitely lower their expectations because, you know, life’s too short to be doing exercise or not overeating

          2. Clampers Outside!

            @Tucker Done… I suppose you think a six pack on a guy/gal is healthy? When in reality, by the fact of having a six pack, means your body fat is too low and is not healthy.

            I assume you already know this, and I assume that you apply the same principles of ‘health’ to attractiveness when looking at such bodies as you do when looking at chubby ones. Because then you would actually be saying something, but if not…. then you’re not being objective and only stating your preference.

            Just sayin’

          3. Dόn Pídgéόní

            “People who find fit, healthy people attractive should definitely lower their expectations because, you know, life’s too short to be doing exercise or not overeating”

            You can be fit and not be a size 6. You can be fit and have stomach rolls. And people only find skinny people attractive now, we used to find fatter people attractive so go figure

          4. han solo's carbonite dream

            i think you didn’t read my point right.

            but actual sex and wank material , are for me anyway , two distinct items.
            99% of the stuff I look at on the net would not be stuff I’d engage in with somebody i liked – if of course I ever had a real woman *sighs loudly at silly childish digs*

          5. Tucker Done

            @Clampers
            You make some serious assumptions there with the six-pack “argument”. The rest of your post is unintelligible.

            @Pidgeon
            Why bring skinny and size 6 into it? You can be fit and fat just like you can be smart and watch x-factor. They’re generally edge-cases though and don’t provide any evidence for an argument about the population.

            Just because people are getting bigger and generally unhealthier because of more sedentary lifestyles and eating crap doesn’t mean we should settle for that. Type-2 diabetes is not attractive. Heart attacks are not attractive. Cancer is not attractive.

          6. Clampers Outside!

            The ol’ back peddle two stroke is it? You’re contradicting yourself now.

            In case you are lost… well…. you said this….
            “People who find fit, healthy people attractive should definitely lower their expectations because, you know, life’s too short to be doing exercise or not overeating”

            Then you said this….
            “You can be fit and fat…..”

            Your second point (I’m in some agreement with) but it clashes with your first. Clearly.

            I’m only here to help :)

          7. Tucker Done

            It’s only contradictory if you equate fat with unattractive which I never wrote. Re-reading my post, I was too smarmy when addressing you, but I don’t think there’s a contradiction.

  3. Spaghetti Hoop

    I still don’t see the fascination for getting your kit off for a calendar.
    For one thing, calendars are a digital item.

  4. Gdo

    The pictures in this are awesome; I’d definitely consider buying this now when I wouldn’t have before.

    1. Lordblessusandsaveus

      Hey are you the guy e-mailing me from the US about increasing my website hits to awesome levels?

          1. rotide

            He’s right, there really isn’t anything “sexy” about most of the photos

            I don’t think there supposed to be sexy (with a couple of obvious exceptions). I’d be more worried about GDO finding them sexy than other people not. Or Don insisting that there be a certain attractiveness quotient required to look at a certain level of beauty.

            Then again, it’s all in the eye of the beholder innit.

  5. Lilly

    She’s hardly obese. I’d have thought she’s a standard size 12-14 Irish measurement. Handy on a camogie pitch.

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