Waterford Whispers Takes Over The World
The already-acclaimed buke from the people behind the popular website.
Waterford Whispers say
Sending up Irish politics, poking fun at megalomaniac billionaires, and extracting the Michael out of everyday life, here in Ireland and around the world WWN’s new book – Waterford Whispers News Takes Over the World is the greatest literary achievement since James Joyce wrote down his weekly shopping list on a bit of parchment and handed it over to Nora Barnacle.
WWN’s new book brings you brand new stories and features as well as favourites such as Uncle Ben shot dead by US police, Waterford Crystal Meth announces 45 new jobs and New ‘Silage’ body spray for single farmers, plus satirical spins on the Marriage Referendum, 1916 commemorations, the US Presidential Election, ISIS and the Catholic church.
We have two (yes TWO copies) of WWTOTW to giveaway.
To enter, simply create a Waterford Whispers-style headline for the Easter Rising 1916.
Lines MUST close at MIDNIGHT
Waterford Whispers Takes Over The World
Army called in to resolve violent protests at the Irish GPO due to new stamp prices
Rebel Forces sent from Pillar to Post
“There won’t be a cow milked in Dublin tonight” – proclaims culchie current affairs commentator
“Enda announces himself as michael collins reincarnated, gives out free big fella statues to every home”
British Empire says despite clear address post office republicans won’t deliver!
V nice!
: )
‘Dublin’s Easter Rising real, unlike Jesus” report finds.
‘A retrospective. What is Conor McGregor fought in the 1916 Rising?’
‘A retrospective. What if Conor McGregor fought in the 1916 Rising?’
Michael Collins body to be exhumed as part of 1916 centenary celebrations and put on display in Coppers cloakroom
Like da’
Large gathering at GPO in Dublin to protest against the rising cost of chocolate eggs – risen 350% since Easter 1915
’82 year old Dubln Lady queueing for stamps not sure what all the commotion is about’
Excuse my spelling. Dublin* queuing*
‘British forces spotted in Coppers after brutally murdering innocent civilians in streets’.
The success of this site is genuinely baffling. Then again Mrs Brown’s boys is a roaring success.
Easy Denis
Victory for Irish Rebels as confused British Troops storm Clery’s to break up worker’s protest.
Ding!
Like dat’ too
Brave Irishmen fight bravely to replace British oppression with Church oppression.
Rebel leader Padraig Pearse profiled
From the archives: Rogue Republicans go postal over British rule
Incredible coincidence!
Dublin rising started by fellas with the exact same names as the Ballymun flats.
Six creative ways you’ll be repurposing a hurl this Easter.
Donnybrook on O’Connell Street: No women reported amid the fighting.
‘Sinister Fringe Storm Post Office, Biscuit Factory. “Sure Haven’t They The Newest, Shiniest Guns and Uniforms” – Deputy Lord Lieutenant.’
Band of Teachers Declare ‘Irish Republic’ in Dublin Post Office
Men disguised as train stations raid local post office…
Fantastic :)
A mammy dies in the pool at Lourdes shot by a Fenian gun.
1916 Leaders Named Themselves After Train Stations to Avoid Detection!
British army to invade Ireland again for “old time’s sake”.
“Jacob’s Biscuit Factory occupied by Rebels who smuggled illegal figs into the country in the guise of Fig Rolls”
Onions! Pearse’s secret weapon to overthrow British rule in Ireland
Very ‘meta’!
“We’d been hammered since Good Friday and just got bored. And SuperMacs was closed”, say gang holed up in local post office.
etc etc
Row erupts over planned commemoration of whatever the hell just happened
James Connollys last words – “I suppose a rocking chair is out of the question?”
Shock as Denis O’Brien acquires sole rights to the year 1916 and all mentions of the year.
‘Meh’ Onion knock-off corners Christmas panic buy toilet book market.
Yyyep.
Rebel Youth Wing issues communiqué on Proclamation: “TL;DR”
Fracas in Dublin – Waterford man reported injured
Patrick Pearse requests a Buttons Easter Egg for final meal.
“Micks Rebel!
Stopped at Post Office. “
Our lawyers have informed us Denis O’Brien was not involved directly or by proxy in the funding of these events
Army Intelligence apprehends Dublin mother and son for passing rebel signals –
Boy confesses: “Me ma told me to run and get the messages”
Agency Workers Stage Sit-In Protest At GPO
PAPPED! Connie Markievicz Looks Shattered While Spotted Out At Stephens Green.
Easter Egg Hunt Out of Control at GPO as Someone claims there is loads of REVELS inside
+ GPO Mall Teasers.
Roger Casement receives garden path sentence.
Your postal deliveries will be delayed, next week.
Exclusive: “GPO Was Practice Run For Nakatomi Plasa” says DeV
Exclusive: “The Figs Up” says John McBride at Jacob’s Factory
sales slow to a halt as hands get caught in greasy tills
Exclusive: ” It’s A Trap! ” proclaimed Rebel Admiral Ackbar
Exclusive: “Cork Declares Independence Amid GPO Chaos “
Exclusive: “Rebels Take Respite At DrQuirkey’s While Tommy Gets Bigger Guns”
Exclusive: “Easter Egg Hunt Turns Violent At GPO”
Exclusive: “City Breathes As Rebel Rising Takes Break For Three Days Before Rising Again”
Exclusive: “Rebels Squashed by Lime Juicers”
Fight Breaks Out During Britain -vs- Ireland hurling match on Sackville Street
Pádraig Pearse to sue Britain over “concerted and unlawful” conspiracy to defame, execute.
Centenary celebrations cancelled after government sell rights to Denis O’Brien
At least 650,000 rebels holed up in GPO amid battles with British forces
Ha very good!
They probably headed to the Dandelion to see U2 afterwards
‘Free State’ posters has bargain hunters queuing outside GPO.
GOTCHA!
Sales of Celtic jerseys up 150% ahead of rising commemorations
Xposè Rising fashion special: How to accessorise those must have Free State uniforms in our (19)16 page pull out
Sponsored by….
Free with the Indo
” Rebels In GPO Inundated With Solicitors Letters From William Martin Murphy. Demands Handing Over Of Dossier”
Dublin hipster desperate to find rising site no one else knows about
1916 Rising a non-event: Beggars ambush bushed while insurrection at Jacob’s takes the biscuit.
Exclusive: ” 16 Pubs of Easter Gets Out Of Hand “
I do like WWN. But it’s the Irish Onion and not in the slightest bit original. Probably some MBA who got lucky with the idea of an Irish one, knowing loads of Boggers and middle aged men wouldn’t have heard of the Onion.
It won’t last. Another two years max. So sell it on now lads to some gobshite who’ll watch the decline instead of you.
Founded by a bar man for fun… then he quit the bar work to do it full time. And is now emplying at least two others.
Stick yo MBA up yo hoop Supercrazy :)
^ Uh Oh spaghetti ‘o’
Dunno ’bout that
That madhouse
UpTheDeise
Might have given him plenty material
Now that I think of OTD
I miss Cian…
We, the men and women of Eire, are getting aroused with 1916 again.
Locals object to 700 years of English stag parties in Dublin.
Y-easter rising failure at Boland’s Bakery!
Enda announces €2bn plan to upstage Sinn Féin in 1916 Commemorations.
Rising delayed as Archbishop says GPO can’t open on a Sunday
Winner!
“Republican lads go a bit mad with the lent by giving up British Rule instead of chocolate”
“Was 1916 the prequel to the water charge protests?”
We’re in the stickiest situation since Sticky the Stick Insect got stuck on a sticky bun – BA
16 Times the Rising Leaders Took No Sh*t from the Brits
“Markievicz Calls Sexism For Receiving Leniency For Being A Woman”
“Enterprising lads find clever way to skip post-office dole queue”
Man sick of hearing about 1916 celebrations labelled ‘West Brit’ by his mates
Déise bhiys on march for All Ireland
#Don’tStopBelieving
“Constant Markievicz – Not Just a Decent Fella”
(Good luck with the buke!)
Idle British Sherwood Foresters Regiment happy to finally get “a bit of action and a decent pint” in Dublin for Easter.
“Independence: IT’S A TRAP!”
Dublin man exiled after admitting “not a single member of my family was in the GPO at the time of the uprising”
Padraig Pearse’s Post Office Plaza
General Post Office Downgraded To Major Following Dublin Skirmishes (The Daily Telegraph)
(Yes, I know the competition ended at midnight, but Im only after reading now)
“Elite coalition of paedos, poets and upper-class twits astonishingly fail to throw off shackles of World’s most powerful Empire.”
‘anger as rathfarnam schoolteacher expels entire empire’
Paddy launches Great War Fringe Fest.
Upon receiving invitation to Easter Rising 2016 celebrations, Councillor McElvaney asks: “Are you going to pay me by the hour or by the job?”
The Easter Rising in 1916 was an inside job.
Rest Of Europe Wonders Whether Those Bloody Paddies Realise There’s An Actual War On Over Here.
1916 Easter Rising centenary celebrations postponed for 1 year to coincide with the EU’s dalamation refugee agreement.