16 thoughts on “Clients From Hell

  1. Looking In

    Is there a union for people who work in this industry? It seems that nonpayment and problems getting paid
    are common,I doubt this would be tolerated in other working worlds.

    1. Tish Mahorey

      There are kind-of unions and there are professional bodies but most designers/creatives suffer the dishonest Irish business man whose business model is to profit from not paying their suppliers.

      Many foreign professionals here complain about it and ask why it is allowed to continue.

      I name and shame them and take them to court and always win. Scumbags.

  2. Tish Mahorey

    Marketing people are the worst. Many are unprofessional, poorly trained and completely unprepared when it comes to getting the details right before starting a project. They waste a lot of time and money.

    1. scottser

      “Yes, so anyway,” he resumed, “the idea was that into the first ship, the ‘A’ ship, would go all the brilliant leaders, the scientists, the great artists, you know, all the achievers; and into the third, or ‘C’ ship, would go all the people who did the actual work, who made things and did things, and then into the `B’ ship – that’s us – would go everyone else, the middlemen you see.”

      He smiled happily at them.

      “And we were sent off first,” he concluded, and hummed a little bathing tune.

      The little bathing tune, which had been composed for him by one of his world’s most exciting and prolific jingle writer (who was currently asleep in hold thirty-six some nine hundred yards behind them) covered what would otherwise have been an awkward moment of silence. Ford and Arthur shuffled their feet and furiously avoided each other’s eyes.

      “Er …” said Arthur after a moment, “what exactly was it that was wrong with your planet then?”

      “Oh, it was doomed, as I said,” said the Captain, “Apparently it was going to crash into the sun or something. Or maybe it was that the moon was going to crash into us. Something of the kind. Absolutely terrifying prospect whatever it was.”

      “Oh,” said the first officer suddenly, “I thought it was that the planet was going to be invaded by a gigantic swarm of twelve foot piranha bees. Wasn’t that it?”

      Number Two span around, eyes ablaze with a cold hard light that only comes with the amount of practise he was prepared to put in.

      “That’s not what I was told!” he hissed, “My commanding officer told me that the entire planet was in imminent danger of being eaten by an enormous mutant star goat!”

      “Oh really …” said Ford Prefect.

      “Yes! A monstrous creature from the pit of hell with scything teeth ten thousand miles long, breath that would boil oceans, claws that could tear continents from their roots, a thousand eyes that burned like the sun, slavering jaws a million miles across, a monster such as you have never … never … ever …”

      “And they made sure they sent you lot off first did they?” inquired Arthur.

      “Oh yes,” said the Captain, “well everyone said, very nicely I thought, that it was very important for morale to feel that they would be arriving on a planet where they could be sure of a good haircut and where the phones were clean.”

      “Oh yes,” agreed Ford, “I can see that would be very important. And the other ships, er … they followed on after you did they?”

      For a moment the Captain did not answer. He twisted round in his bath and gazed backwards over the huge bulk of the ship towards the bright galactic centre. He squinted into the inconceivable distance.

      “Ah. Well it’s funny you should say that,” he said and allowed himself a slight frown at Ford Prefect, “because curiously enough we haven’t heard a peep out of them since we left five years ago … but they must be behind us somewhere.”

      He peered off into the distance again.

      Ford peered with him and gave a thoughtful frown.

      “Unless of course,” he said softly, “they were eaten by the goat …”

      “Ah yes …” said the Captain with a slight hesitancy creeping into his voice, “the goat …” His eyes passed over the solid shapes of the instruments and computers that lined the bridge. They winked away innocently at him. He stared out at the stars, but none of them said a word. He glanced at his first and second officers, but they seemed lost in their own thoughts for a moment. He glanced at Ford Prefect who raised his eyebrows at him.

      “It’s a funny thing you know,” said the Captain at last, “but now that I actually come to tell the story to someone else …”

  3. Looking In

    Such a pity that creatives experience this type of treatment considering the value their services actually bring.

  4. Rob_G

    Funny angle for the Broadsheet editors to take – isn’t their policy at ‘Le Cool’ to not pay the people who design covers? Plus their numerous articles about Irish Water paying €20,000 (AFAIR) for their logo, because “sure, that must have only taken half an hour to draw?”

  5. Zarathustra

    I heard an ad for a marketing company on Newstalk last week and it referred to people reading ‘less and less newspapers’ :(

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