Peaceful Poetry


Former Tanaiste Joan Burton during the Jobstown protest

Irish Liberal Foresees Own Enduring Relevance

My words are smoother than the essential oils
the Taoiseach last week
had his parliamentary assistant rub
into his badly traumatised buttocks.
My psychotherapist insists
half the people who’ve taken
shotguns to their own heads,
during this recession, would’ve reconsidered,
if only they’d heard me talk for an hour
each week about the dangers of Sinn Féin,
or how I live in the hope of a woman Pope.

I’m all for the good people of middle Ireland
making their point in a dignified manner
with china cups of nothing stronger than tea in their hands.
But when thugs from the far parts start burning vans
and generally acting as if they owned the place;
and gurriers from the depths begin picking up bricks
and tossing words so terrible,
they’re not even in the dictionary,
at the Minister for Poverty’s hair-style.
(How would you like your wife,
sister, great grandmother,
kidnapped in her car
for two and a half hours?)

The world will not be changed by fools
banging on the bonnet of a BMW.
But by the likes of me talking
against social exclusion in TV studios.
And fundraising concerts organised
by former pop-stars.
And the well-meaning priest
with whom I regularly have dinner;
between the two us we’ve enough
concern for the poor to construct a second
Fergal Keane of the BBC,
as a back-up in case
the existing one breaks.

Trust in us. Pay no heed
to the sweary-mouthed crowd,
who if they’re not put back where they belong
will soon be eating pot noodle from scooped out skulls
confiscated from their betters
in defiance of international law.
By the likes of them,
the world must not be changed.

Kevin Higgins

Yesterday: Meanwhile, At Court 13

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36 thoughts on “Peaceful Poetry

  1. spudnick

    Got four lines in. I have to say, I’ve never seen trolling applied to poetry before, but take a bow Kevin Higgins. You’ve managed the verse equivalent of a monkey throwing its own faeces in a zoo.

    1. Brother Barnabas

      Was at a zoo once when that actually happened – one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen (I’m pretty easily amused though).

  2. postmanpat

    If the jury find them guilty , I will know for sure what it have always suspected; that this is a country full of conservative drones that lick up to authority. It begins in school and few people snap out off the mindset. Policemen in uniform (on the take)/ Judge in silly wig (who lets pedophiles and violent offenders off with a slap of the wrist)? Priests/Nuns/School teachers/sports coaches? (pedophiles/pedophiles/dorks/pedophiles) better do what they say, so . I mean. The Jobstown gang seem technically “guilty” but if I was in the jury I would let them off. Some silly useless corrupt politician (they are all corrupt phonies) stuck in a car being called a **nt ? give me a break. Rough justice and all that. Stupid laws are an automatic not guilty from me. and yes , I do choose what laws I want to obey.

    1. MoyestWithExcitement

      “that this is a country full of conservative drones that lick up to authority.”

      This bleedin’ message board/blog/whatever you want to call it is full of conservative drones. The world will always be full of insecure folks who need to feel like they’re better than someone. We seem to be stuck with more than our fair shair in this kip.

      1. Happy Molloy

        Also full of joyless bores who use faux moral superiority to justify their aggression whilst never having shown warmth or empathy at any other time, wha’!?

        1. MoyestWithExcitement

          Me; “world will always be full of insecure folks”

          You; “faux moral superiority”


    2. Rowsdower

      If you were on a jury and you knew they were guilty, you would let them off?

      Id keep that to yourself if you ever get called to do Jury Duty, you’ll be in a cell.

      1. postmanpat

        I must be “unconvinced” of their guilt….if you know what I mean. Look, the Judge has told the jurors to just pretend and forget the political protest factors when making their decision. (which I don’t know if it has to be majority or unanimous jury decision , if someone could please clarify) but if you do that, then your looking at a bunch of work shy doleys surrounding a car with a lady passenger trapped inside and calling her a c*** for a few hours for no reason . With a ton of physical evidence and eye witnesses. It’s open shut case that they are all guilty. But I wouldn’t vote… I mean, I wouldn’t be convinced by the evidence and I’d vote not-guilty. ..if you know what I mean…And I don’t even like that Paul Murphy fella , he’s just another odd looking , weird walking/sounding phony politician looking to acquire as much personal wealth as he can while in politics.

        1. Andy

          So you’d ignore what they judge said and you’d make a decision on a question you weren’t asked.

          And you’re not convinced by the evidence even though you didn’t, presumably, hear all the evidence, as you weren’t on the jury…..

        2. MoyestWithExcitement

          “that Paul Murphy fella….looking to acquire as much personal wealth as he can while in politics.”

          How’s he doing that then? It’s nuts the amount of men Murphy seems to trigger.

          1. Rob_G

            While I fundamentally disagree with postmanpat’s attitude towards due process, I would be very surprised if Paul Murphy wasn’t motivated by money to some degree (as I am sure most politicians are). He received €1.3m in salary and expenses during his tenure as an MEP, and earns €87k + expenses per year now as a TD.

            Also, all the while that he was encouraging his followers not to pay their property tax, he did pay his LPT in order to sell his flat. Presumably, if wanted to put his principles over financial gain in that case, he would have refused to pay his LPT and been unable to sell his house.

  3. Mourinho

    I guess there’s a chance of guilty, in which case the judge looks likely to give the bare minimum sentences.

    1. Bonkers

      Seeing as Garda after Garda stood up and told lies in the box I doubt this jury is going to deliver a majority guilty verdict. Even the judge commented on the “inconsistencies” of the Garda evidence to the jury. Like if the prosecuting cops cant even find it in themselves to tell the truth under oath then this process really got shown for what it is- a political show trial.

      Major egg on the face of the establishment when Murphy & Co walk free methinks

      1. Happy Molloy

        don’t think it would be egg on anyone’s face, if anything it will reinforce the concept of separation of powers to those who would say that this is a politically motivated show trial

  4. missred

    Completely separate from the hope I have of the verdict being that the whole thing is dropped, I just have to say that this is the most poorly written poem I have seen in a long time. The cloying style and pointless non sequitur interludes just detract from the message. Awful, Kevin, just dreadful.

    1. Rob_G

      I just have to say that this is the most poorly written poem I have seen in a long time

      – I guess you missed his other poems…

  5. anne

    I left a comment for Kevin once on facebook about one of his poems. I just wrote ” nothing rhymes”. Innocuous enough really I thought. That was it, he was friend requesting me and explaining all about the poems and that he’s not a rapper.

  6. Hawkeyed

    This reads like a series of notifications on an my inbox. Leaden prose. Staccato verse. Shoot .me. now. If Mr. Higgins just learned to narrow those vowels, maybe move the r to a w , he could be the next Michael D. Poet in presidency.

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