RTÉ’s Miriam O’Callaghan

The Forgetting

The minute I’m appointed Minister
for Justice, Broadcasting, and Espionage,
I’ll send forth a decree
making it criminal, and punishable
by being made sit forever
on a bus that never leaves
Kinnegad, to make any further mention of
Miriam O’Callaghan.
It will be an offence
to download any part of Miriam O’Callaghan
from the internet.
Furthermore, any computers or
smart-phones found to contain pictures
of Miriam O’Callaghan
will be broken up
by care-in-the-community
lunatics with specially made
hammers my Department will
provide them with.
The Armed Response Unit will begin
raiding houses known to contain back issues
of the RTÉ Guide disfigured
with her image.

It will be a crime even
for you to read this poem,
or, technically, for me to have written it.
If reading this poem in the printed version
be sure and eat the paper it’s written on
and that all of it has passed successfully
through your digestive system
before you’re arrested.

Kevin Higgins

Previously: Kevin Higgins on Broadsheet


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21 thoughts on “Miriamnesia

  1. tycho

    The long game she and her cabal in INM (where she is untouchable) have played has made me vomit. Many times. Over my dead body will you be president Miriam, OVER MY DEAD BODY.

  2. Matt Lucozade: The Only Reader of the Village

    Add in the Dunne’s Stores red coat, use of #miriam, ‘sleb appearances with daughters, etc., and we’re agreed.

    Can we do a “Marian Finucane” rule next?

    At least Michael D is trim for his age.

  3. Harry Molloy

    I’m not a smart poetry reading guy but is that actually a poem?

    I know poems don’t have to rhyme but I see no craft or wordsmithing there, just a paragraph that has been broken up to make it look like it might be a poem

      1. Harry Molloy

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