Just Desserts And An Awful Shirt

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Great British Bake-Off judges last night, from left: Paul Hollywood, Pru Leith, Noel Fielding and Sandi Tovskig

The Great British Bake-off raised temperatures last night on Channel 4 with Dessert Week.

Too sweet? Not sweet enough? Or just right?

Frilly Keane writes:

Let’s talk about first impressions, and again, I’m sorry to say it was about appearances again last night. Terry’s sick note really spoilt dessert week for me ‘cause before they’d even turned on their ovens I had already predicted that no-one’ll be on the Extra Slice  this week, and that had me vaguely wishing the show along just to see if I was right.

I’m still ticked off with meself ‘cause I really wanted this FrillBake to be sum’ting nice and fulla sugary melty chocolatie Kimmy Joy. Like we haven’t bin’ getting on lately, just thought t’would be a nice reminder that there’s some really other important stuff going on besides elections, and Brexit n’ the like.

Instead I could only think about my Nana Lulus carpet (in her good room) whenever Noel appeared or wonder if The Hollywood had put on a few. At least Manon obliged by leaving the earrings at home, and the weekend in the tent became all about hair plaits. And yellow eyeshadow.

Anyway lads, do yer best to give Dessert week a guilty smile instead’ve a snort. And before we get to it, they’re turtles not trolls.

I think most home bakers have a dessert Signature that is not just a fruit tart. Ye might remember this oul’ reliable , of mine, even though I’ve been promising to try a lime curd kiwi & pineapple one since Tom Parlon was a TD.

My takeaway from last night’s Roulade challenge was Rahul’s rhubarb and custard, and my running favourite Dan got his third Hollywood handshake in a row. Which I can’t remember happening before, but he was Star Baker there and then, and probably should be given a monument inside the tent.

Sum’ting else about Dan, he uses basic everyday ingredients most of the time and he hasn’t needed chemistry, exotic teas or foodie techniques to get those handshakes.

He is the very definition of a proper family home baker, here I’d do this meself but since I’m the only one in my house that eats coconut I’d only make a pig of meself.

Also, the great thing about having Roulade as your own Signature is that it will always be what Jon called rustic looking, and icing sugar will always be your best friend, so you’re never under pressure to have it looking like it came from the Butler’s Pantry lot.

They were being a bit too fond of judging the swirl for me. Its dessert so don’t worry about the swirl, its all about the filling and having seconds; if its full spiral your after you’ll have ta’ reduce your creamy tangy good stuff.

The technical was the technical. Meh for Blancmange but if ye fancy it, Prue’s recipe is easy but loads of ingredients t’ be fecking around with, like Green Cocoa Butter. Yep. Green Cocoa Butter, for biscuits that last a second and involve eight different ingredients, and piping. But it is a good one if you’re baking as a quality time with kids thing.

Last place Manon just asked for it earlier on when she uttered she hadn’t messed up a bake so far.

Ah the Showstopper. Now a bitt’ve tale here. When they trailered it, I was heard saying sum’ting like ‘I would no more be arsed’ … like fecking around with a chocolate dome only to melt it before ya can get to your afters. But the dependent was a bit too quick with the snark herself; it must be the weather now that I think of it, at home as well as this gaff.

Anyway, I got a bitt’ve ‘you’d have to give it a go first and see can you do it before deciding you’re not being arsed’ (pronounced aursed.) Yep, getting it everywhere lately.

But wasn’t it great tho’ ? Like none of the bakers really made it look painful or too fancy with kit and techniques; a balloon was used for this. Shur’ it doesn’t matter if it melts and cracks. I’m definitely going to give one a go over the Christmas. Like for a group. Maybe the Broadsheet Christmas do, and I would probably do something like Kim Joys Turtle Astronauts …troll truffles, with bitter orange sauce.

Ah I’m only messing. I still love ye all.

Here, one thing before ye start separating yere yolks, Kim Joy was hard done by not t’get herself a Hollywood Handshake, but I reckon she’ll be there or there abouts in the last 2 weeks.

Star Baker, no need to mention. But its worth noting that three of the last four Star Bakers were lads.

Spice next week.

Yeah me neither

So hopefully I learn something new to do with my favourites, nutmeg, cinnamon and cloves; and there’s a bit more to Spice than gingerbreads.

Frilly Keane can be followed on Twitter: @frillykeane

28 thoughts on “Just Desserts And An Awful Shirt

  1. millie st murderlark

    Did Richard of season 4 not get buried in handshakes from Paul? Or Luis maybe?

    Either way. Jon is a bit of done and he can come round mine to bake off any time.

    That reads like innuendo but really it’s now.

    1. FrillBake

      I dunno
      I remember Richard the builder lad getting a record run of Star Bakers alright
      That was in the year Nancy won,
      Remember her?
      She use’ta say I don’t know if I’m Arth’r or Marth’r

      That was the year of Ice Cream gate and yer man the Nordie getting inta a right strop

      1. millie st murderlark

        I remember that! Such drama. I felt bad for him but my word, he needed a good shot of something to calm him down.

        I liked Nancy too. She called Paul ‘the Male judge’ when she forgot his name. I think I would’ve like Richard to win. He was such a great baker.

        1. Frilly Keane

          That’s been there a while Mill
          Since last year probably

          ‘thought you’d have noticed I jig ’em around
          Like Frill the 8th etc

          Always clear tis still me tho
          I don’t troll
          And definitely don’t need to hide under anyone else

          1. millie st murderlark

            I liked the Frill the 8th too actually.

            The troll thing is weird. I don’t get it. It seems so paranoid. Sometimes it’s obvious when someone is doing it and that’s usually funny. Sometimes not. Never thought you were one, in fairness.

          2. FrillBake

            I won’t lie Mill
            I can tell ya it took its toll

            I’m not the better of it
            There’s emails too
            People I’ve actually met

            Way worse that that thing on twitter
            So
            I’ve turned into a mean suspicious cagey bird

            Shur’ there’s always cake

    1. FrillBake

      I’m hope to learn more ’bout them tbh Janie
      Chai teabrack with a pinch of ground cloves is the closest I’ve gotten

      what about you?

      how are ya anyway?

      1. Janet, I ate my avatar

        there’s a few funky sweetpotatoe, banana, pumpkin variations with spice, fudge or various nuts. Be interesting to see what they offer up !
        I usually stick to the spicy carrot myself or a treacle heavy gingerbread with custard sauce.
        I like the savoury cake angle.
        I’m grand thanks for asking :) Fully caught up in the madness of being home, an observer no more ( thoughtful face)

  2. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

    Dan is a dick. Did you see him telling Ruby off for sneaking a look at his technical? Smug and he needs to brush his teeth.
    Jon is my fave. He helped Ruby when she was in a panic and his tutu was fun.
    Rahul is growing on me, the weirdo.
    Briony will go soon.
    I like thit grey-haired lady. She’s sassy.

    I LOVE blancmange. Haven’t eaten it since I was a kid, though. It must have been packet: I must ask Mum for the mould abs give it a lash.

  3. johnny

    Serious FOMO from reading these Frilly,i had never watched it,your great posts inspired me to add it to my Netflix,I’ve started watching Series 1,so i don’t have much add here.But I thoroughly enjoy your posts and they got me watching it-but not eating cake/desserts !

      1. johnny

        I’m enjoying season 1 surprisingly (dying get back to it),may binge watch rest off later,as tomorrows almost the weekend-then season 2-but we are having an amazing Sept here weather wise,knowing that winter is coming I’m trying get outside and enjoy it while it lasts-netflix binging kicks off around thanksgiving here.

    1. Janet, I ate my avatar

      I don’t really eat em either,
      a little of what you like goes a long way.
      Just bake for the craic and relaxing and to occasionally woo stray lumberjacks

      1. johnny

        I’m back and forward for work to Toronto a lot,so I keep my eye open for a real lumberjack for you Janet-I’ve absolutely no/zero baking equipment nor have i ever baked anything,BBQ anything yes.
        Diet wise I’m on the vegan/no sugar side but watching it did pique my interest in deserts/cakes/bread,or trigger my sugar cravings:)

    2. FrillBake

      Ah fair play Johnny
      Ya know one of my favourite Bake-Off bakers
      The Pink Whisk Ruth Clemens
      was Season 1

      You’ll have to wait till Season 2
      To see imo one of the best bakers they ever had
      Ànne Marie Boermans
      Really into the history of cakes
      It was she who introduced the Opera Cake to the tent
      So the following season they did a full Opera Cake Showstopper challenge along with a historical background etc that she was involved in
      She’s still involved now I think
      In the background like

      Both those bakers btw
      Have great blogs so you’ll be a savage baker in no time with these ladies

  4. johnny

    I’m very familar with Opera here in NY-the season opens soon but not the cake Frilly:)
    Now you gone all technical or wonkish and lost me.
    Great posts Frilly,will keep an eye out on those two.

    1. FrillBake

      Ah no Johnny

      I’ll never go all technical or wonkish
      All these Frillbakes have, into the main,
      Been about stripping back the fancy stuff
      And making them more doable

      And hopefully encouraging bakers

      Now Martco
      Wherever he’s got ta’
      Is the lad for the high tech bakes

  5. H

    I really thought that Rahul was going to get a handshake for his showstopper but then Hollywood changed his mind when he did the pre-emptive hands to mouth ‘I can’t believe it’ thing

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