Poems For Moynes

at

John Moynes

At some point in the last month, John Moynes passed the milestone of 1,500 Limericks A Day.

One thousand five hundred Limericks.

Written and posted on the same number of days.

Many will recall the callow, clean-shaven poet who, in 2011, began spreading the news through anapestic meter.

Few knew he would emerge – by sheer dint of number of ‘ricks posted – as the most published poet on the planet. 

A revered, wise elder daily bearding the likes of Trump armed with little more than five-lines in a world where nothing rhymes with orange.

We are working on some artwork to celebrate John’s achievement, but will need a little verse.

If you would like to share your appreciation to the Bard of Broadsheet you are very welcome to help complete the Limerick below:

‘A prolific poet called Moynes,

Picked up his pen and girded his loins,

___________________________________,

____________________________________,

_________________________________’

Verse must cease at 5.45pm.

Thanks all.

Earlier: A Limerick A Day

68 thoughts on “Poems For Moynes

  1. Pee Pee

    ‘A prolific poet called Moynes,

    Picked up his pen and girded his loins,

    In his pocket he had some coins,

    He happened to be in the town of Foynes,

    Dropped his pen, went out and bought a box of Lyons.’

          1. Boj

            I think Pee Pee should win
            All the others should go to the bin
            they can take it on the chin
            and have a bottle of gin
            and give a drunken grin

            haha

          2. theo kretschmar schuldorff

            A Black Mirror episode, ‘Hated in the Nation’,
            Would cause one some slight hesitation,
            In being overly mean,
            To a bad rhyming scheme,
            Though this deserves no great ovation

  2. Paulus

    I’m probably askin’ for trouble here…but:

    You’re looking for a rhyme in anapestic meter.
    But you’ve already established a meter (sort of) with your introductory two lines.
    And to my rhythmic ear; they’re not exactly…well…rhythmic.
    I think it would need to be; “Grabbed a pen and girded his loins” for example?

    1. Paulus

      Oh what the hell:

      A prolific poet called Moynes
      Picked up his pen and girded his loins (arrgh)
      Up to now altruistic,
      Can he be optimistic
      Of finally gaining some coins?

      1. The Old Boy

        A McGonagallian metrical sensibility is one of the delightful defining features of Mr Moynes’ verse.

        1. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

          Funny thing, The Old Boy. I’m an adult and have been for a very long time. Whenever you post, though, I feel like a stoopid teenager. You have an authoritative, almost patrician tone.

          1. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

            You don’t make me feel stupid. I just realise I’m an aul dope when I read your posts. Big diff.

      2. f_lawless

        A prolific poet called Moynes
        Picked up his pen and girded his loins
        – but I must interject –
        How can we pay our respect
        When it’s the meter you’re misemployin’?

  3. Jasper

    A prolific poet called Moynes,

    Picked up his pen and girded his loins,

    With the flick of his wrist,

    Has mastered the gist,

    And forever more counting his coins

  4. theo kretschmar schuldorff

    A prolific poet called Moynes,
    Picked up his pen and girded his loins,
    But he pee-ed off the State,
    Whom he’d often berate,
    And escaped transatlantic from Foynes.

  5. Spaghetti Hoop

    Happy Verse-ary Moynser! I guess you started frequenting this joint around the same time as I.
    *strokes non-existent beard*

    Would love to assist with Limerick but head melted and hungover. Maybe in the morning there’ll be no stopping me.

  6. Sam

    A prolific poet called Moynes
    Picked up his pen and girded his loins
    Wrote a Limerick per day
    which the ‘sheet did display
    and often the reader rejoins!

    1. millie st murderlark

      This one is actually perfect.

      Sam, you win. Don’t listen to the rest of these troglodytes.

  7. scottser

    A prolific poet called Moynes,
    Picked up his pen and girded his loins,
    In limerick style
    He showed us his guile
    But would never, ever purloin

    1. Andyourpointiswhatexactly?

      …z
      (For completeness.)

      Interesting fact: in original limericks they repeated a version of the first line at the end.

      1. Boj

        A prolific poet called Moynes,
        Picked up his pen and girded his loins,
        “I will shoot from the hip,
        and I will not give a jip,”
        Said the prolific poet called Moynes

        howzat?

  8. newsjustin

    A prolific poet called Moynes,
    Picked up his pen and girded his loins,
    With each rise of the sun,
    He limericked and spun,
    A career from an online sojourn.

  9. f_lawless

    A prolific poet called Moynes,

    Picked up his pen and girded his loins,

    But with the Limerick form,

    Already jaded and worn,

    It all felt like a kick in the groin.

    (sorry John just jibing I do like a bit of word play )

  10. Cue the Storm

    A prolific poet called Moynes,
    Picked up his pen and girded his loins,
    Pushed fake news for the views
    And lies to confuse
    All for a pittance in coin.

  11. Catherine costelloe

    Twas soft and long,
    And silky and brown,
    The boast of the country,
    And talk of the town.

    For bearded John with thanks .

  12. Fuzzy Duck

    A prolific poet called Moynes,
    Picked up his pen and girded his loins,
    While adopting a look that’s quite strange,
    Like a druid from Newgrange
    That could do with a wash in the Boyne.

  13. gobbledy

    A prolific poet called Moynes
    Picked up his pen and girded his loins
    We know it. Will the proposed work of art
    Mark the end or the start
    Or the middle?

  14. Boj

    Andyourpointiswhatexactly’s getting annoyed
    that broadsheet is a poetry void
    she corrects everyone
    which is a pain in the bum
    even more so than a hemorrhoid.

    ;-P Sorry..

  15. Murtles

    A prolific poet called Moynes,
    Picked up his pen and girded his loins,
    If only he saw us, pick up our Thesaurus
    His quill would bolstering his femur

    *cough

  16. Dubdec99

    A prolific poet called Moynes,
    Picked up his pen and girded his loins,
    Always quick with the wit
    And not afraid to take shit
    He wrote yet another five lines

  17. Iwerzon

    ‘A prolific poet called Moynes,
    Picked up his pen and girded his loins,
    With the nib to his mouth
    he noticed a drouth
    so went for a pint in Rathmines

  18. Nigel

    A prolific poet called Moynes,
    Picked up his pen and girded his loins,
    Now that is quite heinous
    It’s a pen not a penis
    That metaphallic aesthetic of groins.

    A collection of his limericks should, of course, be called a Moynthology.

  19. Ammo

    A prolific poet called Moynes
    Picked up his pen and girded his loins
    With humour and wits
    He vilified twits
    Like Trump, Theresa May and O’Brien

  20. Nigel

    In memory of the first limerick I ever learned:

    A prolific poet called Moynes,
    Picked up his pen and girded his loins,
    He once met a shark
    And said ‘What a lark!’
    There WAS a prolific poet called Moynes.

  21. Gary Flood

    A prolific poet called Moynes,
    Grabbed his pen and girded his loins.
    He’s the ‘sheet’s five-line-truther,
    Forsooth there’s none smoother,
    (Though, at times one can *just* see the joins).

    Fair play, John. Thanks for the 1500!

  22. Sam

    A prolific poet called Moynes,
    Picked up his pen and girded his loins,
    He composed a satire
    On each new dumpster fire
    to amuse folk from Christchurch to Des Moines

  23. Frilly Keane

    ‘A prolific poet called Moynes,
    Picked up his pen and girded his loins,
    But knocking ’em out was hardly detrimental
    ‘Cause he’s made it onta Comedy Central
    A club not every poet joins


    Fair play Johnny
    Dunno how ya did it
    But I bet everyone reading this is just thrilled tisn’t 1500 Frill-Bits they’re being asked to commemorate

    xV

  24. Royal M

    ‘A prolific poet called Moynes,

    Picked up his pen and girded his loins,

    After punning a lot then he

    Went to the Journal Dot ie

    To pocket those populist coins’

  25. elfantman

    A prolific poet called Moynes,
    Grabbed his pen and girded his loins,
    Wielded words anapestic,
    To slay foes dumb & septic,
    Hirsute Bard of the Barbs with his foins.

  26. Michael McCabe

    There once was a poet called Banger,
    His poems he wrote with his langer,
    It wasn’t his fault ‘‘twas good irish malt,
    That made Banger rhyme langer with skanger.

Comments are closed.