STOP! Do Not Attempt To Wake This Baby



Broadsheet contributor/commenter Clampers Outside writes:

This above is wee baby Clamps. Born on May 15th. He and Mrs Clampers came home last Monday.

Everyone is doing really well, and I’d like to say many, many thanks to everyone for all the lovely messages :0)

A hint at his name… “Everything is awesome!” – anyone?

All our best, have a great weekend :)


Previously: The Pitter Patter Of Tiny Clamps

74 thoughts on “STOP! Do Not Attempt To Wake This Baby

        1. Cian

          All cute and cuddly one minute, and a shrieking monster the next? Yup – sounds like a baby alright.

  1. Spud

    Hello little Lego! (Nigel beat me to it!)


    There is no sweeter sight than that of a wee baba asleep.
    Look after each other Clamps

  2. Mickey Twopints

    Not really into the “cute babba” cooing myself, but I have to say he’s looking very well there, Clamps! Hope you’re looking after his mammy and congratulations once again to you both!

  3. Penny

    Out of curiosity, how old are you Clampers Outside? I assumed you were in your fifties??

        1. Mickey Twopints

          Sincerely relieved to read that’s what she’s getting at, I thought she meant whilst driving at 70.

          1. Vanessa the Holy Face of Frilly Keane

            Shur’ you’ll go again
            Don’t wait too long now
            Have the chat with Mum as soon as you can
            She’ll be thrilled

  4. Janet, I ate my avatar

    very nice
    all the best little human,
    don’t drive your poor parents too far up the walls ;)
    so as we are all like the faeries over the cot giving our blessings,
    may you sleep right through the nights

  5. millie st murderlark

    I did that thing where I started spouting pure incomprehensible gibberish and baby noises at photo and now the girls in the office have had a look too and he’s been declared an absolute dote and possibly the most adorable young man to ever grace the pages of the ‘sheet.

    1. Penny

      “the girls in the office”!! you have a job??
      shouldn’t you do you job rather than gawp at Broadsheet all day?

      1. Mickey Twopints

        Millie is the boss, Penny.

        I know, that’s another culture shock for you, but there it is.

          1. Mickey Twopints

            There’s a really obvious pun to be had there, Penny, but somehow I don’t think you’d get it.

    2. Brother Barnabas

      there’s at least one other adorable young man on broadsheet

      oh I’ve said enough

  6. Janet, I ate my avatar

    wow, I bet that cut Millie so deep,
    you do realize the same could be said of you too,
    you need better burns Penny,
    maybe try not to pollute a happy news post with your ineffective bitter claptrap

        1. Boj

          Awwwww….now you’ve reminded me of Rory Gallagher festival in Ballyshannon next week! I’m very excited! Hey Bodger, can you do something on that will ya! It never gets a shout out…

      1. Janet, I ate my avatar

        well ignoring bullies or wanna be bullies isn’t how I roll, wagon or dyson

    1. Clampers Outside!

      He has… we thought he might’ve been another a red head like so many of the Clamper clan :)

  7. Catherine costelloe

    Awesome indeed. A beautiful boy . I see contentment in his little face. Many congratulations! !

  8. Lush

    Like Mr Twopints, I’m not one for cooing over babies, but for our little Emmet, there is no need to lie, he really is a cutie.
    Hope Mrs Clampers is being pampered too.

    1. Clampers Outside!

      She is Lush… she makes requests, and I do the requests :) That’s how our team works! :0)

  9. The Old Boy

    Many congratulations once again, Clampers. A fine young man in the making, I’m sure.

    1. Clampers Outside !

      Wish I had haha!…. he’s too together for that to be his first baby :)
      The pediatrician said to me before hand… “…your first, this’ll get a bit surreal”…
      Sure enough, it did :)

  10. Vanessa the Holy Face of Frilly Keane

    Ah lads
    Ye’re making me all broodie

    I can even smell the Baba
    And his peach fluff cheeks

    And he has a lovely content expression

    I swear my uterus is contracting
    Mwah mwah everyone

    1. Janet, I ate my avatar

      did you have to say contacting unmentionables, I’m waiting for me Friday pint

      1. Vanessa the Holy Face of Frilly Keane

        D’mind Daisy there Daddy

        She’s secretly wishing
        Curdled spew up on your favourite geansaí
        Patches of wee wee on the settee
        Runny yellowish green poo on your good work suit
        Puddles of teething
        The terrible 3s that’ll go on till he’s 11
        Disney on Ice
        Cars, The Lion King, Toy Story, The Jungle Book, Mary Poppins, and the Wiggles on loop. For years
        Shoe shopping
        Swimming on Sat am, kids party in the afternoon
        Hurling on Sun another kids party
        Soccer on Mon pm, Irish dancing on Tue pm, karate on Wed pm, Art on Thurs pm, Hurling again on Fri pm
        And bouncy castles, dinkies, scooters bikes and rollerblades
        And of course the bits of Lego all over the floor – especially when you’re tiptoeing out to the loo at 4am
        And sticky chubba chops and chipping of taytos all over the back seat
        And a lad who prefers to eat his own snot than a flower of broccoli

        Don’t be fooled bhoy
        We’re all wishing you the very same journey as we had
        Cept for the Brest Feeding, cracked nipples, stitches and stretch marks
        Which is a pity you’ll miss out on

  11. realPolithicks

    That’s a great photo Clampers, may he always sleep as well as that. Good to all three of you.

Comments are closed.