Two years ago on these pages, ‘Broken Hearted’ discussed an extremely messy break-up with his boyfriend.
The level of betrayal and quantity of hook-ups involved left even our more libidinous readers open-mouthed.
But what has become of ‘Broken Hearted’?
Well, firstly ‘Broken Hearted’ – we can now reveal with his blessing – is in fact much-loved , openly-cuddly Broadsheet contributor and commenter Fluffybiscuits.
And Fluffy reveals that partying, travel and an unexpected friendship has healed most wounds.
Two years on from that particular moment, a friend reminded me it was about two years since I finished with the other half.
The aftermath of that event lead me on hair pin bends of roads I never imagined I would go down from that moment forward!
Two weeks after the event, still fresh in my mind, I was called for an interview for a job – not just one grade above what I was but two.
A prospective new position that saw a jump in salary however I was in that head space of being lonely and lost, partying and doing stupid things to make up the weekends and the week and pad out that void that just was within.
A particular manager had taken what I wondered was a dislike and she called me in for a meeting. It never turned into a meeting but a mock interview, questions fired left right and centre and obnoxiously firing flippant comments on leading me to falter and unable to answer questions. Coming out of the room, she just labelled the interview “boll*x”.
A second mock interview didn’t go quite according to plan and confidence went up and down . I went into that interview however and scored a fantastic result and it lead me into that particular job managing staff and gaining skills I never envisaged!
Post break-ups, for what it is worth are never a bed of roses. The coming months made me visit a lot of dark places in my own head and by nature being a gregarious person – the sudden pull of a rug from under my feet made me question once or twice was it all worth it.
People tell you that there is light at the end of the tunnel but when you are attempting to make sense of it at the time, it never appears that way.
Partying endlessly filled the void I mentioned above and it all hit me when I realised that I was making making Amy Winehouse look like Mother Theresa that it all had to stop.
One Friday in September I went out at 5pm after work and surfaced at 1pm on a Sunday afternoon (a weekend stuffed with debaucherous activity and unwanted proclivities).
Orientating myself, I decided to do more travel and threw all my spare cash into that.
From seeing parents holding signs for their missing kids in Pristina in Kosovo, watching the Eurovision on big screens in Lisbon, meeting the only other tourist in Azerbaijan (an Irishman!) and camping with the Bedouin and a whole lot more, this was stuff of adventures to me anyways. Freeing my head and absolving me of temporary responsibility for a few weeks gave perspective.
Dating became a minefield, the guard went up and dropped once a year and a half ago for one man. A very pleasant dad from Galway with two kids who had separated from his wife but who could not figure himself out and I ended up hurt.
That tendency to close up wouldn’t drop until relatively recently and a chance encounter that I genuinely met someone I liked however he did not feel the same but whilst it hurt a bit, I am a grown man and life moves on (and that is not including the year long Ross/Rachel fling with a now disgruntled English man – but that’s for 800 years of occupation I keep telling myself lol).
What I was really thankful for were the new friendships that came out of it though. One in particular.
After writing that piece about the cheating debacle, a person contacted Broadsheet and passed their details on to me. That person was Frilly Keane.
Straight to McDonald’s where we drank coffee for hours and not only was she the type of person who listened but she acted as a guide – (no I wont call you Mammy promise!) and from then on Frilly invited me into her home, cooked for me and what formed was a close friendship.
Every few weeks there is coffee, wine, curries etc with a dash of gossip, putting the world to rights and a general sense of reassurance that everything is going to be fine!
As I type this [last Friday] I’m off to pack for a trip to Manchester with a group of platonic friends I made on Facebook (strange where you meet people!!).
They are like myself, we are a group of guys (mostly stocky chunky builds) who like other stocky fellas – a strange niche called Bears just Wikipedia it!)
Long story short – it does seem the end of the world at the time, it’s not and far from it! Travel, work and new friendships blossomed. I’m still single but you learn to be entirely comfortable in yourself.
Should you be in a situation where you are wondering if you should break up or are getting over one – things do get better.
Previously: Cheating Cheaters Cheat Us All