On The Money


Taoiseach Leo Varadkar

Leo, You’re Right.

I’m not worth 350 a week,
how did I end up in a call centre
with scholarships and university degrees.

My friends are the same,
work in pubs, cafés, one has a PhD
and he holds the door open at BTs.

I’ve a few bob in the Credit Union
if you need a lend, I’m only paying rent.
Given up insurance, mortgage, having kids.

Listen, if you’re looking for someone
to write your next speech, I’ll do it for free,
us artists love that kind of thing.

Molly Twomey


Previously: Eamonn Kelly: Free Money Walks, Bullshit Talks

46 thoughts on “On The Money

  1. Ronan

    Somehow it’s the Taoiseach’s (or at least, the government’s) fault?

    You know what pays for mortgages and kids? Stable income. You know where you get stable income? Boring jobs or exceptional talent. Don’t want a boring job, and lack exceptional talent? Consider a better balance between your life choices.

    I respect your choice to be free from the shackles of sitting at a desk for 10 hours a day + commute time to earn a crust, and I’m all for grants for the arts. But looking to the government to top you up to a middle class lifestyle because you chose art college or a BA?

    Isn’t it time you considered becoming a teacher? It’s the perfect combination of ego-satisfaction, clinging to the arts, and a stable income for your mortgage and kids.

    1. Kim The Cardassian

      Very male centric view Ronan. You’re making assumptions about her life goals. How do you know she wants to have kids or wants to be tied to a mortgage in this country? I know plenty of people who sit at a desk for 10 hours who still can’t afford a mortgage. The rat race isn’t for everyone, there are people who would rather be poor and happy than have a few bob more and sit in front of a excel spreadsheet for 10 hours wishing the day away so they can get home and watch Normal People on the TV, if you can get your kids to bed a timely hour.

      So when you do sit down to watch Normal People or whatever TV show/movie takes to your liking, remember those people you’re watching on your screen are hard working actors who scrapped it for years before making their mark.

    2. Ghost of Yep

      Ronan, you come across as far more a whinger who regrets his life choices than a young woman studying creative writing. Click the link ye mopey ladypart.

      1. Ronan

        I actually enjoy my work – it’s a nice balance of something I’m interested in, and that gives a reasonable standard of living – and I regret nothing.

    1. Fintan Frobisher

      Great to read there are still some people left with the desire to question the status quo.
      Gwan the fighting Irish.

      1. Brother Barnabas

        a boris johnson-supporting tory boy laments the lack of those willing to challenge the status quo

        charger finally appears to have eaten his own rectum

      2. Johnny

        I do support them in college football, are you cheering on the descendants of the French order of The Holy Cross-Blessed Basile Moreau would be proud of you:)
        Its a good read,Boston College also announced recently fall class are on.

    1. Rosette of Sirius

      There’s more than one Brown Thomas in Ireland. And they have lots of doors.

      1. Ringsend Incinerator

        BTs is in Dublin, Cork, Galway and Limerick only.

        There is only one door on each with a door person. Not one of them has a PhD. I know them all personally -they wouldn’t be much good if they didn’t knew every customer, would it?

        1. Termagant

          Molly didn’t say which door. It’s a secret door you don’t know about. It says “Ledgebags only” in stern black letters.

          1. Ringsend Incinerator

            Completely irrelevant now that the doorperson now been laid off. Do you need a PhD to be a digital bouncer in case the wrong sort access the Canada Goose section of the website and bypass the checkout feature?

          2. Ringsend Incinerator

            I don’t think the word is “Ledge”. It’s three letters, beginning with “G”.

  2. darren

    I really enjoyed this poem… good poetry is something in between sense. Thanks for sharing

  3. Rob_G

    “how did I end up in a call centre
    with scholarships and university degrees.”

    Christ almighty, no wonder we have to ship in people in from Bulgaria to pick fruit, with this level of entitlement going around.

    The world does not owe you a living – I clicked on her profile, she’s about 24. Christ – very few people, other than the preternaturally talented or the incredibly lucky, have their dream job at that age. Grow up, quit moaning, and realise that the world isn’t going to beat a path to your door just because you had it together enough not to drop out of college; to get to where you want to be, you’ll just have to put in the graft for it, same as everybody else.

      1. Rob_G

        I didn’t say anything nasty, BB – the piece was published on a public forum, along with the author’s name a link to her profile. She aspires to be a professional writer – if you are going to write for a living, you are going to encounter critiques of your work, regardless of how many degrees and scholarships you may have.

          1. Brother Barnabas

            although I know you’re not a nasty person/commenter and am not suggesting that

    1. GiggidyGoo

      Off the scale there Rob, when you write “just because you had it together enough not to drop out of college; to get to where you want to be, you’ll just have to put in the graft for it, same as everybody else.” and then look at Simon Harris who hadn’t it together enough and dropped out of college and then, courtesy of his political mateys, without grafting, ends up Health Minister.

      1. Cian

        If you think anyone can become a TD with out grafting – you are sorely mistaken. It is a tough gig.

        Granted, becoming a minister does involve a bit of luck – a government generally has a ‘diverse’ mix – they usually go for a wide geographical spread, there is a gender mix, talent, and then there is the whole reward for supporting the leader. Keeping a Ministry involves a lot of hard graft.

      2. BobbyJ

        That’s a fantastic comeback. Will remember to use the Harris example the next time some FG wannabe pipes up with the “you have to put the graft in” schtick.

        & it is a very enjoyable poem. Good job, Molly

  4. Termagant

    I think it’s a very nicely put together pome
    But sadly the answer to that first verse is “Masters in Creative Writing”
    I suspect yer man’s doctorate is in the same vein

    1. V'ness

      Well you seem to be the lad for this then Termit

      What is Creative Writing?
      exactly like

      it’s obviously a specific style and or format, and speciality enough to be a separate subject in school / college etc
      And at a master level n’all

      So what’s it all about?

      1. Termagant

        I don’t know
        And if I was a human resources person and you asked me
        I reckon I’d still say “I don’t really know what that is, 100%”
        But I’ll tell you what it isn’t: accounting
        And I’ll tell you what it evidently seems to be: unprofitable

  5. Grace

    Firstly, age and gender are irrelevant… to highlight her age does what we should never do and that is pit the generations against one another.
    Secondly, in order to succeed in any art based industry you work for free for years, you are in and out of work and if you are as determined as most of us in this line of work, molly included, then you are working extremely hard to break into the industry chosen.
    I would pity any child whose parent would tell them to pack in their aspirations and just get a job …

    Have you ever considered that alot of us who are ‘young’ and in this line of work have gone through some very challenging times because we did something we hated.
    Speaking from Experience, I worked in a ‘proper’ job after college, hated it, developed a life threatening eating disorder was then hospitalised and realised life was too short to spend it doing something that made me so unhappy. Finally after years of working for free I got my dream job in radio and have not relapsed since.

    All of you writing negative comments can you remember there is a REAL person behind that poem whose circumstances you do not know, and we should at a time like this be supporting each other instead of tearing people down.
    A ”real job” means nothing if it makes you unhappy.

  6. Johnny Keenan

    This thread is exactctly what a nation of begrudgery looks like.
    The mere idea of dreaming of a better life is so insulting to holders back.
    It’s the very reason #Ignoreland is not as progressive as the younger generation want it to be.

    Great choice of words Molly. Creatively and artisticaly delivered, while highlighting the starck reality of where ends don’t meet.

    Now that young people can’t get the poopy out of here they might lead this counterculture revolution everyone is talking about.

    Poo The Begrudgers!

  7. aria

    I once saw a JobBridge that required a PhD in analytical chemistry.
    Whatever about the message or the messenger, she’s not wrong :(

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