2 thoughts on “Wait For It

  1. Slightly Bemused

    I remember hearing rhetoric like Tucker Carlson’s before. It was in French, in early 1994 in Rwanda. Facts had nothing to do with it, it was fear-mongering at its worst, and this so reminds me of it I am truly frightened for what might come next.

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  2. Janet, dreams of spidercrab

    posted by a friend of mine, an American but long time resident of France, a large man and a gem of a man, quietly spoken and understated until he gets on stage that is, posted today when asked well meaningly maybe for his mental health to take some time out, I’m sure he won’t mind if I share

    My dear friend……..suggested that I give myself a break from all this.
    Here’s my response;

    ” friends name” , Give myself a break?
    Do you think this ever stops?
    I’d love to not think about this stuff. I’d love to just be for a while.
    I’d love to not worry about my child.
    My child who was already told that she was not as pretty as the other girls because she isn’t white.
    She was told that at four.
    I’m still trying to fix that and she’s 10 now.
    This isn’t stuff that’s just coming out now.
    This is my everyday.
    Everything I’ve posted is a part of my everyday life.
    The danger and the judgement are constant.
    The looks I get going into a store. The look of fear when I sit near someone in the subway.
    Being asked who I’m going to visit, in my own building.
    I used to get searched by cops everyday.
    I’m not exaggerating.
    Every single day. Up against the wall, some dudes hands on my balls, searched.
    In public.
    Because I “fit the description”.
    The only description I rarely fit is the one of just a man in the performing arts.
    If it doesn’t specify “Black man” in the role, description, I won’t even be considered.
    In France, if it wasn’t written for a black man, they won’t cast one. Even in theater.
    There’s no break that I can take. This is my life, my very existence. I’m not paranoid.
    I’m just Black
    Even at home, a knock at the door could mean death when you’re black.
    I don’t think non minorities can even fathom this existence.
    So when we see another black person getting killed, part of you wants to give up, but another part says, you can’t.
    When you walk outside, you’ll still be black.

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