Thank Frodo It’s Friday.
What better way to spend the Hallowe’en weekend than with another Broadsheet music competition?
This week, as suggested by reader Morgen Scheißekopf, the theme is misheard lyrics. Are there any song lyrics which you heard wrong and what was your garbled version?
I spent the guts of 40 years mistaking a line from The Stranglers hit Golden Brown.
They wrote: “Golden brown texture like sun/ Lays me down with my mind she runs.”
I heard “Lays me down with my mansheerons.”
I have no idea what a mansheeron is. I just presumed they did!
To be in with a chance of winning a spooky €25 Golden Discs voucher, simply reply below with your mistaken lyrics.
The winner will be chosen by my domesticated vampire.
Lines close at 5.45pm EXTENDED until Saturday 11am.
Nick says: Good luck!
The king of misheard lyrics, it is Friday after all,
https://youtu.be/7my5baoCVv8
I’ll be back later, enjoy
I cried with laughter, thanks Andy; needed a smile here in lockdown France
courage Lushie
this should be fun :)
“WHOOOOOAAAA WE’RE HALF WAY THEEEEERRRREEEE
WHOOOOOOAAAAAA SITTING ON A CHAIR”
Bon Jovi Livin’ On a Prayer
My mates older brother went around for years singing this.
Marc Cohen – Walking In Memphis
Walking in Memphis
(Walking in Memphis)
Was walking with my feet ten feet off of Beale
Up until recently I thought he was singing:
Walking in Memphis
(Walking in Memphis)
Was walking with my feet ten feet off of a be you.
Kings of Leon,
“My ex is on fire”
Some would say an even better lyric.
hahaha .. my ex’s sex is on fire ?
There’s a cream for that.
Virgin, virgin, emergency!!!!!!
Song 2 – Blur
I got my head checked, By a jumbo jet
It wasn’t easy, But nothing is, No
I heard
I got my head shaved, By a jumojay
In my mind a jumojay is some kind of exotic barber.
We didn’t start the fire – children of thalidomide – I heard children of the little mile. Also Bernie Goetz – burning ghets. I found this out 2 days ago!
My woman calls R2 D2 Arthur Detour.
In fairness, she also says ” disposable thumbs”
(English is not her first language)
awww, part of her charme
Sperm of the moment is my favourite, cos it’s better than spur of the moment, and she explained that sometimes it happens when you think of it. Like, hey, I had an idea that gave birth. Logic.
himself messes up his English the odd time, declaring all the towels in the hotpress were crusty today ( he meant cozy )
Andy Williams singing Born free, as free as the window! How free can a window be?
Open?
Has to be ‘Ireland’s industry’ an ad for the IDA I thought, and not Islands in the Stream: https://youtu.be/UaNGtgYwSsU
…not forgetting “Mulligans Tyres”.
‘Ireland is a scream’ is what I used to sing to that one.
The Fine Young Cannibals – She drives me crazy
I heard – She dries meat gravy
Hehehehehe. ‘sheet staff can’t enter but I was telling Nick I once belted out during class break “Shoot the boys on our road. Woo, hoo. hoo‘ (to much scoffing) believing they were the lyric to ABC’s recently released ‘Shoot That Poison Arrow’.
Faith- George Michael
Cause I gotta have faith
I gotta’ have faith
Because I gotta have faith, faith, faith
I got to have faith, faith, faith
I heard
Cause I gotta have fanta
I gotta’ have fanta
Because I gotta have fanta, fanta, fanta
I got to have fanta, fanta, fanta
In the 70’s/80s I was a big Kristofferson fan:
I knew many of his songs, and sang a few.
It’s hard to imagine now, but if a lyric-sheet wasn’t included with an album, it was VERY difficult to confirm any misheard/muddled/mumbled lyrics.
Broken Freedom Song includes the lines:
“Got a song about a soldier, riding somewhere on a train.
Empty sleep into his shoulder, and some pills to ease the pain”
Slightly strange second line there I thought, but assumed it referred to a soldier slumped in his seat with his head down on his shoulder…and I sang it that way for years.
UNTIL I discovered that the correct second line here is;
“Empty sleeve pinned to his shoulder….”
…which makes more sense!
Meatloaf – you took the words right outta my mouse
One for Janet, ABBA
Opening few lines, ‘when I saw you last night at Tesco’
https://youtu.be/BshxCIjNEjY
you shouldn’t have …no really ;)
Paul Simon – Graceland
At about 1:47 into the song I always thought he sang ‘the way she brushed her hair and farted!’
https://youtu.be/H9M4XJXnCcw
Enjoy
Yep; I laugh every time I hear that song. Best if you do the sound effects too.
I think has to be the winner
Bonnie Tyler – Total eclipse of the heart
I don’t know what to do and I’m always in the dark
We’re living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I heard
We’re living in Apowequay and giving offs parks
Apowerquay being a village in Wales and offs parks being some sort of alms
Climb Every Woman by Chaka Khan
Yes, I thought that too.
Marc Almond & Gene Pitney – Something`s Gotten Hold Of My Heart
I gotta tell you now
Something’s gotten hold of my hand
Dragging my soul to a beautiful land
I heard
I gotta tell you now
Something’s gotten hold of my hand
Dragging masshole to a beautiful land
Masshole being a slang word other New Englanders have for Massachusetts residents
Oh come on! It has to be ‘My ears are alight’!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxtfdH3-TQ4
Purple Haze by Jimi Hendrix
“Excuse me while I kiss this guy”
Jesus – Jimi was very progressive I used to think. ;-)
Don’t even start on ‘All along the watchtower’ – there’s tons in there
Brilliant!
Me too on ‘kiss this guy’ :)
Elton John – I’m Still Stanley
In my mind Still Stanley is one of those street mime guys who pretends to be a statue then scares the bejabbers out of you.
The Doors Break On Through (To The Other Side)
Actual Lyrics
You know the day destroys the night
Night divides the day
What I sang (loudly) for the guts of 30 years:
We’re going to drive that car tonight
90 miles a day
As the other half pointed out, 90 miles isn’t even that much really.
Take on Me – Aha
So needless to say
I’ve odds and ends
But I feel you’ve thrown them away
Shoud be
So needless to say
I’m odds and ends
But I’ll be stumbling away
mine goes back a bit – while the rest of Sister Teresa’s Senior Infants were singing “he’s got the whole world in his hands”
I heard – and sang with gusto – “he’s got the whole world in his pants”
even a slap across the ear from the head nun (“forever the smart alec, aren’t we?”) didn’t clarify; it was years later that i uncovered my (genuine) error
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqCBp7-MJJ4
We are all just prisoners here of our own device
Eamonn hears…
we are all just pensioners here on our motorbikes
welcome to the hotel
happy friday
Didn’t “Warm smell of colitis” feature there too?
Alanis Morissette
…It’s a black fly in your Chardonnay
It’s a death row hard on two minutes too late…
I have a friend who was genuinely incredibly surprised that this was incorrect, and an unending, drunken conversation about ‘which one woulda been more ironic’ followed.
sigh
Absolute winner. Hands down. The pants if necessary.
Michael Jackson – Smooth criminal
Annie, are you okay?
I heard
Annie are you wonkey?
always thought it was ‘Eddie’ not ‘Annie’
Right until this minute, me too…
I have a friend who sings along to The Killer’s All These Things
“I’ve got a soul but I’m not a assh*le”
Sadly, he is.
When I was a kid, I developed the theory that CJH doctored the national anthem to make mention of his party.
Queen – We Will Rock You
Correct lyric: “Kicking your can all over the place.”
I heard: ‘Kicking your CAT all over the place’
https://youtu.be/-tJYN-eG1zk
The Commitments – Must hang Sally
Moustache Sally now baby
The Police – So Lonely
I heard
Sue Lawley
She was a TV presenter in the ’70’s & ’80’s
Elton John – Tiny Dancer
I heard Tony Danza, who was an actor in Taxi
On 5 April 1982, the British government dispatched a naval task force to engage the Argentine Navy and start the Falklands war. A few months later on first hearing The Clash’s then latest release “Rock The Kasbah” on the radio, I was convinced they were screaming “Fuck The Task Force”.
Elvis Costello, ‘Watching the Defectives’
The Rolling Stones, ‘Rubex Tuesday’
For when you’re feeling run down
The Moody Blues – Nights in White Sat In
I never knew what they sat in but it probably stained.
Born In The U.S.A. – Bruce Springsteen
Born down in a dead man’s town
The first kick I took was when I hit the ground
I heard
The first keg I took was when I hit the ground
I had him pegged as the sort of guy who’d steal barrels of Smithwicks from outside country pubs.
Bee Gees – Stayin’ Alive
Whether you’re a brother or whether you’re a mother
You’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive
I heard
or whether you’re a mugger
The rest of the song was all unintelligible, high pitched wailing
OutKast, ‘Hey Ya!’
Shake it like a Polaroid picture
I heard
Shake it like a corduroy pizza
The Clash – I fought the Law
I heard
I fought Delors*
* Jacques Delors, French politician
Bruce Springsteen – Open All Night
It’s an all night run to get back to where my baby lives
In the wee wee hours your mind gets hazy radio relay towers, won’t you lead me to my baby?
I hear
weewee hours
and think bedwetter!
Prince – ‘Little Red Courgette’
Don’t eat it Prince, it’s not ripe, it’ll give you Purple Rain
The Byrds – ‘Mr. Tangerine Man’
Ode to The Donald?
E.L.O. – Roll Over Beethoven
Well, gonna write a little letter
Gonna mail it to my local DJ
I heard
Well I’m gonna ride a little lady
Gonna male her to my local DJ
Jimmy Savile?
The Sex Pistols – ‘A knacky in the U.K.’
Were they knocking on doors then running away?
UB40’s ‘food for thought’;
Ivory Madonna dying in the dust,
Waiting for the manna coming from the west
Heard as
I’m a prima donna lying in the dust,
waiting for my mother coming in her dress
Mondegreens, eh?
I always wondered why Sting and The Police sang about “The king of Spain”….
I’ve always loved their one about a certain lady of the night.
Massage in a Brothel
Queen Bohemian Rhaposdy…
“Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango”
became (among other interpretations)
“Scar a moose, will you do the fan tango”
The Pretenders – Bras in Pocket
Has to be the redoubtable Freddie and Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody
The lyric of
“Spare him his life from this monstrosity”
Sounds like (and is easier to sing when drunk) :)
“Saving his life from the warm sausage tea”
Happy Halloween folks
As a kid I was shocked they allowed a song on the radio like ‘I’m your penis, I’m your fire, at your desire’.
Class. I’ve thought that too.
That’s my go-to chat-up line.
It’s so not. You! Now!, Take that Pringles can off! Is what you usually say. Thankfully.
Stuck in my brain. Jimmy McCarthy’s Neidín.
‘won’t chew me member, won’t chew me member…’
Was in a pub a while ago in Kilmore Auay ….maybe 20 years or more……and there were two fellows and a girl playing. I think is was called the Wooden House.
Anyway, my favorite song at the time was ‘fFrom a Distance’ – Nancy Griffith and was being sung by the girl. Both there was no sign of her. Next thing, she came in the front door. She’d been singing it from across the road – they’d put the mike out to her through the window.
Some laugh.
Pity it doesn’t count for this competition.
Quay of course.
Hah! :)
Macy grey: I try
always heard “I wear goggles when you are not here
Apparently the line is “my world crumbles when you are not near”
Bought my daughter a thing called ‘Baby Alive’ for Christmas a while ago. I used to sing to her ‘You can tell by the way I’m suckin’ my bottle, I’m a Baby Alive, Baby Alive….ah ah ah ah Baby Alive, Baby Aliiiiive’. She heard the Bee Gees song when she was 14 and gave me a sh’t because she thought my version was the correct one. H haaaaa.
Giddy, from the first time I heard this to this present day, I could swear they’re singing “ Well you can tell by the way I use my Wok I’m a woman’s man”
Once heard you’ll always think it’s correct.
https://youtu.be/fNFzfwLM72c
Enjoy
+1
In some rather genteel company, a mate once sang:
A penis, a penis
The greatest gift that I possess.
I thank the lord that I’ve been blessed,
with more than my share of a penis.
Go on, try it out….!
I believe this is the mostest badliest unvebailbly, best wrong expression of a song that has ever happened in history.
Click on it if you dare.
https://youtu.be/PNTWafP1n9w
Papi, this is even worse!!!
Still makes me laugh!
https://youtu.be/yqVVv97pKGk
Enjoy
My eyes and ears are bleeding.
He hee. That’s a good start to the day.
Strangelove – for years I thought Depeche Mode were singing,
“I give in to sin / Because you have to make this like Liverpool”
Remember Zig and Zag used to sing songs with misheard words…Adam Ants ‘ Stand in The Liver’ and ‘ The Jam ‘Eating Trifles’
Paul Young. every time you leave you take a piece of meat with you
Copperhead Road – Steve Earle
Well my name’s John Lee Pettimore
Same as my daddy and his daddy before
I heard
Well my mate John needs pedicure
Same as my daddy and his daddy before
To my eternal shame, up until very recently I thought the words to Zombie by the Cranberries were:
What’s in your head
In your heeeeaaaaaad
Stop it, stop it, stop i-it i-it i-it
and then had no idea why the song was actually called ‘Zombie’ at all. Still haven’t lived it down.
The great Lionel Richie with Hello, around the 30 seconds mark, “I sometimes see your ‘pants’ outside my door”
Judge for yourself,
https://youtu.be/AOdVNMy9PPQ
I think I prefer your take :)
The ants are my friends, they’re blowin’ in the wind
Ha!
My love has got no money, he’s got his Trombaleece.
Crappy song but whenever it came on I always wondered what the hell was a tromboleece (strong beliefs) Freed from desire, Gala.
Ha ha…agree on the poor quality so never looked it up but my version used to be ‘my lovers got no army he’s got his stronger briefs…..’
Jesus knows why a NGO official needs heavy duty underpants…..
Ha ha…agree on the poor quality so never looked it up but my version used to be ‘my lovers got no army he’s got his stronger briefs…..’
Jesus knows why a NGO official needs heavy duty underpants…..
ABC The look of love…I heard it as Phil u cockah. I thought it was a song about Phil (u cockah). Only figured it out in my late teens!
https://youtu.be/cNEdxZURTaI
Lad I worked with (RIP Dave) ruined the Eagles Desperado for me. For desperado he sang desperate bastad.
When I was in an all-boys secondary school about 18-20 years ago I attended this rock band’s performance in the canteen. They played kind of heavy rock stuff like Lizzy and Bon Jovi etc. Not my cuppa, but the singer, who I fancied, at one point sang what I thought was ‘excuse me while I kiss this guy’. It made my 15-year-old ears prick up and left me quite discombobulated. Of course, he was actually singing ‘excuse me while I kiss the sky’ from Jimi Hendrix’s Voodoo Child.
He was beautiful then and still is now but I’m not sure if he ever kissed a guy.
Actually. I mean Purple Haze. Still haven’t got it right! :)
“God sends Rabies”
Constant Craving, KD Lang
A friend of mine thought Neil diamond was a trendy priest,
“As long as I can have you hear with me, I’ll always be, reverend blue jeans”
When my radio comes on in the morning and I am still asleep the song lyrics take on different dimensions. If I could remember them I could use them as wonderful titles for fantasy novels.
Of course, then I would have to write fantasy novels. Nothing is quite so simple :-)
…I missed the significance this line first few times.
…I love myself, I want you to love me
When I feel down, I want you above me
I search myself, I want you to find me
I forget myself, I want you to remind me
I don’t want anybody else
When I think about you, I touch myself
Ooh, I don’t want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no…
I Touch Myself-by Divinyls
https://youtu.be/wv-34w8kGPM
Dive bar fav in NY:)