Alnwick, Northumberland, England

He’s back.

On tour!

Fluffybiscuits writes:

I’ve not sought a relationship with anyone but meself in the past year. As mentioned before here on Broadsheet, you can’t swing a cat on the gay scene for fear of hitting a married ‘straight’ man seeking a hook-up. Totality of all these experiences has lead me to form an opinion that most men, call it biological programming, are bi curious at minimum; insatiably lustful at max.

Three weeks ago, I trotted over to Alnwick, a  small market town North of Newcastle in England. Linear streets floating with paved cobbled streets. A sight seeing weekend. Quietly, I sought out a little pub to have a couple of pints and read. The pub had a lovely barwoman from the Isle of Skye. In our conversation, she recommended this pub up a side street, a local’s local. Intrigue took me to it. A million and one conversations with the locals followed. Come closing time, I made two new friends, A and B. A is friendly and we chat, but what came to pass with B brought home the matter with which I raise.

Myself and my new compatriots hit the local club, imbibed on any number of Jager bombs. 4am creeps upon us. A announces his departure. Chubby and stocky B is left with me. Those of you in the real world who know me, I’ve a penchant for all men chubby and stocky. B invites me back to his house for a beer to which I duly oblige.

Spotify playlists blaring. His wife storms down the stairs, arguments ensuing raised voices. Off to bed in a strop, she storms off. I offer to head home but B asks me to stay. We sit on the sofa and B asks me if I’m ‘openly gay’. He then leans in and kisses me, a warm tongue…you know the rest. 6am, I wake up and I’m asleep on his lap, his arm around me stroking my beard, knowing full well between us our deed done unbeknownst to anyone but us.

Hungover I go to leave, B asks me to hang around and meet the family. Awkwardly making my excuses, I go back to sleep off the night’s enjoyment . B says his wife doesn’t ‘know’ and he has never done anything ‘gay’ before.

These experiences are all too common. All self-described straight men. Excuses proffered varying from no love life at home to a wanton need to experiment. For many, here and abroad, life is passing them ‘bi’.

Previously: Fluffybiscuits on Broadsheet

Pic via Wikipedia

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74 thoughts on “Wey Bi, Man

  1. Bitnboxy

    Lol. Eh up! Not summit you’d read on Grift Media. Nowt so strange as folk especially Yorkshire folk.

    Davy Quinn and the cuddlies at the Iona “Institute” warned about this sort of carry-on back in 2015.

    Still, a welcome respite from the Covid/vaccine dirge on here.

  2. Janet, dreams of an alternate universe

    Fluffy if I went home with a fella and his wife came in I’d take it as my exit, why don’t you ? Do you feel the responsabilité is entirely his ? Genuinely curious.

    1. Bitnboxy

      I get a weariness from Fluffy here. If he is eye-rolling at this fellow and his wife – he is dead right.

        1. Bitnboxy

          Appreciate your candour and insights Fluffy. Personally, I find it interesting just how much social stigma (now largely removed for younger folks) has blighted the lives of mainly men and some women of a certain age. I always thought that those who virulently opposed civil partnerships and marriage equality did so principally because it normalised and destigmatised gay people. They never said that out loud but this was their real issue.

      1. Janet, dreams of an alternate universe

        thanks for your answer,
        I can’t help feeling for the cuckold,
        I haven’t been a saint in my time so no judgement but I guess as I got older respect for the unsuspecting became more important to me, especially after the shoe is on the other foot.

        1. fluffybiscuits

          @Janet

          I wont admit to it being a mistake, I knew from the invite back what he was up to. I knew in advance but as I’m getting older I’m just seeing the grey areas in relationships and unhappy people (which is ironic considering whats happened in the past)

  3. Lilly

    Do you really think life is passing that man by, Fluffy? He’s indulging his whims and having breakfast with his wife and kids. Meanwhile, you’re going back to your hotel alone.

    1. Fluffybiscuits

      Fully aware but going home alone was what I was doing either way…for me I just wanted my end. It’s two ships passing by not to see each other again. I dont particularly have any inkling to go back

      1. Lilly

        You haven’t answered the question. Do you seriously think life is passing that man by because he’s choosing family over the pursuit of sex with random men?

        1. fluffybiscuits

          Well if he feels there is some sort of his sexuality that he has not expressed , then when the conscious and subconscious work against each other it makes for severe mental illness. It might be he just wanted to experiment like drugs or alcohol, one hit ..not for me or the chap could be an innately homoerotically transfixed man feeling constrained by society as he has a wife and kid. ..if you note i said for many, not all.

          1. Lilly

            Fair enough. But from your description of this dude, he sounds far from repressed and grappling with mental illness.

          2. Poor oul divil

            I think Fluffy is saying this lad’s just like many a stray dog
            Having his cake and eating it too

    2. Oro

      Not everybody wants or needs a life partner, or someone to go home to. I’m sure Fluffy got exactly what he wanted from the exchange and didn’t feel like being alone at the end of it was a problem.

        1. Oro

          I’m sorry I’m not sure which part of what he wrote that you’re referring to, tricky to know on the text format sometimes :) I do think your comment compared companionship with being single in quite a weighted way though, in terms of where value in life is derived!

          1. Lilly

            Fluffy said: “For many, here and abroad, life is passing them ‘bi’.”

            In this case, I didn’t feel life was passing the guy by at all. Rather, as someone said, he was getting to have his cake and eat it. Fluffy, on the other hand, was cake-less at the end of the night.

          2. Oro

            Oh well then yes I didn’t misunderstand. I disagree with your position that fluffy was ‘cake-less’ at the end of the night, I would vastly prefer my honest solitude versus children and a (not to make judgment but) dishonest marriage.

          3. Lilly

            I agree, but we’re discussing this from Fluffy’s perspective. The encounter doesn’t suggest a guy whose life is passing him by. I’m multitasking here, probably not explaining it well.

  4. Fluffybiscuits

    Covid gave me a steely resolve. Hardened outlook . This sort of behaviour is prevalent that I ditch the moral ambiguity around it and just pursue it . The cut off point was asking to meet family, that’s a step too far . First hand I can tell you that you would be surprised at the people who enjoy man on man action behind the scenes with even in some cases the wives knowing. I wasnt lonely by any stretch of the imagination, if you know me in real life I sometimes break away from Dublin life to enjoy time with myself. And yes like anyone here loneliness gets me like it does everyone. There is one website in particular that facilitates extra marital activities between men , you be surprised at the people you find on it! One look at the site would give you a clear idea of how common this is…

    1. Poor oul divil

      That’s really fascinating thanks Fluffy
      Tremendous insight
      Why do you think that is?

      1. fluffybiscuits

        For some its who they are , they never got an opportunity to come out

        For a lot it’s just sex..

        1. Poor oul divil

          Really?
          It’s hard to imagine someone can live their whole life in denial of such a portion of who they are.
          But I guess you are indeed correct.

          I can’t figure whether you despise or pity these guys

          1. Lilly

            I know a couple like this. Guy is gay, although not openly. Often spotted outside cafes with men in tight trousers. I have no idea why she married him as she knew beforehand. They have a kid so maybe he’s bi. She’s wealthy, the draw for him according to those in the know. Who knows what brings people together and causes them to stick around. Love, insecurity… It seems far from ideal but if it works for them, why not.

          2. Poor oul divil

            Oh that’s easy Lilly
            He’s a sperm donor without the responsibility of having to service his needs- like a vanilla marriage

          3. Oro

            It’s maybe better in these instances to think about the root cause of why people would have to hide their true identity from the world. In this case the root cause is homophobia enacted on LGBTQ people by a society organized by heterosexual rules and regulations. Despise that, not this one guy. Talk about misplacing blame.

        2. Cú Chulainn

          Like, I suppose you prove your point, most men will get up on the crack of a plate.. it’s just, his partner and children were upstairs. A gentleman would make his excuses and leave when the partner appeared. A cad would insist they join, and a dude would leave and then fuck them both in turn.. but seriously FB.. there are some rules around sex, and when a partner appears and isn’t happy – you leave.. that’s how it is.. and if there are children involved you leave double quick… and you don’t need to be married or even in a relationship to understand that..

          1. fluffybiscuits

            That’s a fair enough point. There are times you just go sod it and go for broke. Sober me would have done the exact same thing. It wont be the last time I do something like this but it wont be something I go out of my way to actively seek out.

  5. fluffybiscuits

    I dont despise them , pity maybe but I’d like a society where extra marital sex was perhaps seen as an open expression of who people are. If I do choose to pursue someone it will be an open or polyamorous relationship maybe. ! What are your thoughts on it

    1. Janet, dreams of an alternate universe

      Fluffy if it’s any consolation all the kids seem to be that way, my team in work, very young seemed much more polyamour and very openly so, most importantly with their partners,
      in France one mostly expects lovers to come and go in a marriage, you aren’t supposed to love them or let them ever be a priority, it’s a 5pm to 7pm gig.

      1. fluffybiscuits

        I’ve read about that in a few books. It became a standard practice to have a mistress.

        Actually you are definitely right on one thing, the younger crowd are certainly open to it

        1. Janet, dreams of an alternate universe

          well not just a mistress, interesting you should see it just from that angle,

          ladies have their toys/ tennis coach/ ski instructor etc too, should we be speaking in cliches

          1. Cú Chulainn

            And all who play run the risk… of Cupids arrow piercing so cruel and yet so accurate.. this is the risk

    2. Poor oul divil

      Yes – good one.
      I don’t pursue really Fluffy, not my thing, personally.
      I do know what you mean though.
      I’ve always had a feeling people who are doing this hate themselves really.
      But I don’t walk in their shoes obviously

  6. Darren

    Life passing them bi? Wordplay… jealousy?.. The other man presumably committing to a hetero normative family based lifestyle with all of its flawed conciets … and yet perhaps the definably self asserting out homosexual lifestyle is in its own way a commitment to various other but no less obvious conceits.. personally I have always found it that in the light of truth it is out gay men who have least truck with the notion of bi sexual male feelings… then there is of course the male who fears the range of their own sexual feelings but does actually repress them but they are definitly less common as times have moved on and more honest discussions have taken place .. this falls into that category imo but the want to be judged has its own basis and this story is seemingly built on that exchange.

    1. fluffybiscuits

      Firstly absolutely love how you wrote that post, sublimely composed

      Need for judgement? Part of myself asked me am I wanton of the judgement of others, casting myself into the pyre of those critical. I decided I’m not though. I used to never touch married men, had two unknowingly but something changed a year and a half ago. Those blokes cooped up needed a release when and then the world opened up to us the odd month.

    2. Darren

      Can I just say as well.. I don’t mean anything bad by saying jealousy. It doesn’t help that it’s a deadly sin but what I mean is seeing something that you don’t have and that you might want. In the end the encounter was revealing so obviously it’s up to you what it is that’s revealed but I like ur name .. i picture mikado ..so honestly I wouldn’t want you to think I was judging .. another sin we don’t need

      1. fluffybiscuits

        I took it constructively mate. Its a general open discussion,if laying such a topic bare ,I have to be open to feedback if I agree or not!

        As Vanessa will tell you (she knows me well,), I can be a tad colourful in my thinking.

        The encounter served a few things, ego boosting, enlightening, informative, poignant and tension relieving….

    1. fluffybiscuits

      All ly trips to Russia, Lebanon,Cyprus, Moldivw and China got cancelled! Managed to book Romania lol

  7. TheSampsons

    Nothing like the personal anecdotes of one man to confer the status of bi-curious/sex crazed shaggers onto us all.

    1. fluffybiscuits

      Curious doesnt mean that you have had sex, it simply means you might have thought about one rainy day in 1988 and gone “not for me”…men have these thoughts at times. If you never thought about it then kudos and it’s not a Permenant state of being

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